Relationship with in laws

Relationships with in-laws are hard to lump into generalizations. It varies so much from person to person once you really get to know them. My fiance has three older sisters (all older than me as well, the oldest being 20 years my senior) and I have very, VERY different relationships with all of them. One sister is my best friend and we do almost everything with her and her family (shes actually my MOH!) , one sister is more of a friendly aquaintance, and the third sister hates my guts. It all depends on you, and how close you want to get to them personally. My relationship with my MIL and FIL are better than with my own parents, although it took awhile for my MIL to warm up to me "taking her baby boy away", but I expected that going into this when I found out he's the youngest of four, only has sisters for siblings and is close to his mother.

At first It was too the point I wanted to throw in the towel but like you mentioned if I were to do that I would of looked weak and she would of won I don't want to give that okay so I'm just use to it when she acts up I just ignore it.

Oh I'm sure that has a lot to do with things! Unfortunately that's what ends up happening more often than not though, everything becomes a competition. My brother got married 6 years ago and my mom tried comparing everything at first until I didn't give in and just started telling her less and now that she doesn't get the same rise it's not as fun anymore. That really sucks for your FW though, it must be hard on her to have to deal with her sister being so jealous rather than supportive.

that's a good point mind you both my fiancee and her sister are getting married the same year and my fiancee was willing to get married in 2018 which i had to put my foot down to stop sacraficing her happiness for her sister shes mad at the fact we chose 2017 and been competing with my fiancee ever since throws tantrums its ridiculous so im thinking she has a jelousy issue with her sister shes very pitty when it comes to my fiancees success its annoying cause this should be a sister bonding sharing ideas rather than a competition

That's hard to deal with. I think it would be more beneficial for your FW to be the one to get involved with her sister and explain to her that by being rude to you it hurts her. By just pulling back and not going to family events you're kind of "letting them win", it sucks to go to have to be put through their negativity everytime you see them, but it can help to reinforce the fact that you are a part of your FW's life now and you aren't going anywhere!

That's good that you guys are strong and compromise is always key

It's mostly my fiancée sister I've been dating my fiancee for nearly 5 years and for some reason her sister has never said anything nice about its to the point she called me out so I just basically express I didn't like her as well I'm the type in f guy I don't take crap from anyone but her family are just crazy overprotective it's to the point I stop going over I would only go for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinners but it's more civil we're as my family they love my fiancee and make her feel like part of the family when she's at my gatherings at times just wish I could get along with hers but the closer I would get there would be a negative outcome.

Our relationships are a bit rocky, but both of us have complicated relationships with them already (me with my parents and FH with his mom) so adding a SO abs wedding into the mix just amplified things. We just take the issues one at a time as they come and you should always leave the family to handle their own problems (or at least take lead), as in, if the problem is with my parents FH shouldn't go try and slove it. I'm sorry you're not having a great time with your in laws. Do you know what the issue is? When FH and I got engaged things blew up with my parents and I sat them down all in the same room and had it out, got everything out on the table. It's taken MONTHS, and definitely got worse before it got better. But that's just it, it IS getting better and we're moving in a positive direction

We make sure we don't say anything that could offend the other or put them in a bad spot. I still partake in their praying before meals just so they know I do care!

That's the same with my fiancée and I she's non religious and I'm religious how do you guys cope with your different views?

I get along very well with his family! We have different religious views which can be awkward at times, but they are amazing and loving nonetheless.

Yeah that really blows when your fiance's own family is ignoring him. It's a complicated topic seems to be most couples struggle

Yeah I just figured no need stressing trying to figure them out for me I chose to just keep it civil making a small sacrifice like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner doesn't kill the least I can do to keep my fiancée less stressed out

My in laws don't like me. And have no idea why. Now they are starting to ignore my fiance calls and texts which right now it's not bothering him and it's bothering me that they choose to act like kids.

No it doesn't. His family is complicated and not as supportive as my family! Also his parents just seperated and they live in Texas and things are kind of a mess with his family right now. They are also very childish and immature so smaller doses of his family works better for us!

Yeah that's all that matters thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Well that's good that your family is more accepting! And the important thing is that you and your fiance love each other and support each other! I hope that they're all able to be civil for your wedding!

That's very good I like to hear those stuff unfortunately for me I'm not that close with my in laws but my side of the love my fiancee and makes her feel part of the family as for hers their more of a reserved family her sister talks behind my back and says negative things about but it's been like that the last nearly 5 years she's been trying to break us off luckily she sees I truly do love her and everything she's saying about me is nothing but lies

Our relationships are great! Our moms are very close and even go to see plays together! My MIL joins us every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and some years we celebrate Mother's Day with both our moms. My husband and I lived with my family for 3.5 years so he's very close with my mom and sisters. I'm so grateful for that! My BIL and his family don't live nearby unfortunately so we're not as close but we still all get along. We've been going out to visit them the past couple years for our nephew's birthday and it's always nice to get everyone together! We're very lucky with our in-laws!

What about you?

Oh I see would you say that bothers you or no?

Our relationships with inlaws are good on both sides, however we aren't as close to his mom and dad as we are my family.