SO I recently got married and had different groups of friends attend the destination wedding.
A month ago, one month after we go back I received a call from a close friend "Paula" of 20 years who told me she had something to tell me that was bothering her for awhile and she did not want to tell me at the wedding to let it ruin my week. She said the people who you think are your friends have set some things during the week and she felt a need to tell me. She went on to say how a few of them and mentioned who they were made comments about "we do not want to help with last minute wedding preparations she wanted a destination wedding she can do it all herself" , "I told her I slept in as I did not want to sit there and sip champagne and pretend to be happy while we were doing hair and make up", "I am going to be late to her room as I do not want to help her get into the dress it and put on jewelry will be too hot in the room and I want to relax", "I cannot believe she is wearing a wedding dress its too much and too over the top she should have worn something casual" "I am going to pretend I forgot my wallet and when we go on our night of town I will get her to pay for our cab and all our drinks" "let's play dumb and get them to pay for our excursion for us and we will tell her we will pay them later". "She gave me her pearl bracelet at the reception when it fell off to hold it for her but when she asked for it the next day I pretended she did not give it to me". "I am going to tell her I laid down before dinner and slept through the night so I do not have to help her with anything I may be the maid of honour but Im only hear for a vacation not a wedding"
These are a few examples and there is a lot more I heard from my friend. A few weeks later I heard a few similar comments from another friend "Andrea" who did not know the first friend who told me and warned me about this group of friends as well and had similar verbatim comments.
My male colleague "Frank" at work around Christmas warned me to distance myself from one or two individuals who went out of their way at the wedding to say mean things about me behind my back and and how I could have gone to the justice of the peace and I did not deserve to have a fancy wedding nor a wedding dress.
The friends Paula, Andrea and Frank who came to me and told me what a few rotten apples in the bunch said they would sit around on the beach and play volleyball and make fun of me when I was not there and laugh saying she is inside planning everything for the big day and we could be helping her so she would have less to do buy why and they would all laugh.
I have since distanced myself from everyone since the wedding but these "mean girls" group have since befriended one another on Facebook and prior to the wedding did not know one another well.
Three friends who had the courage to tell me as it was bothering them I respect but since they have told me I do not know what to do with the information. I know they are not lying as one lives in a different country and does not know anyone and she is worried in my choice of friends as with people like that who need enemies. My male colleague has never met my friends before and my other friend lives a couple hours away.
I have since distanced myself from these so called "friends". I am in the process of trying to figure out if I should do about this information I have learned about my "friends". My husband wants me to delete all of them off Facebook as he himself heard several comments from his mother that the bridesmaid said to her about me which bothered him but he did not tell me until a few weeks after the weeding but if I do this what do I say about it when I run into the at the gym, sidewalk etc. as one is my neighbour.
My husband thinks its jealously as we are happy we both got new jobs right before the wedding, and the three people in question are not so happy. One has been married 3 times and never wore a wedding dress for any time as she got married to get her citizenship and she apparently has been cheating on her spouse but she did not tell me this she confided in my husband . I don't think its jealousy as they are all better off than we are, cars, houses, travel but he does have a point. He said when I was struggling for work and working odd jobs they would constantly ask did you graduate from your post graduate program, when you ever going to be finished school, are you working yet and they would make such comments on Facebook. Then when you graduate and get a good job and you are happy and things are going well you post positive happy comments and messages on Facebook and nobody likes or comments but when you are not doing well they post and relish in how not well you are doing . I never thought of us until recently when my husband said nobody liked the wedding pictures , nobody liked my new job, nobody liked when we raised money for charity last month but when we are not doing so well they like to rub it in.
So we have both agreed to re-evaluate our so called friends and to surround ourselves with positive people who bring us up not bring us down and hang out with people who talk good about other vs negative comments .
