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Brittany
British Columbia

Pre-wedding Parties - Giving Up Control

Brittany, on April 6, 2018 at 16:52 Posted in Before the wedding 0 13
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The running joke in my family is that I've been planning my wedding since I was capable of thought... So obviously I've also thought about my Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party... But whenever those topics come up with my mother and sister (MOH), my mom flips out that it's not my problem and I need to back off. -- She says it kind of jokingly, she does value my opinion, but she's trying to make me realize it's not for me to plan...

Any control freak bridezillas out there like me, having trouble letting go of the reigns? I know I want to be kind of surprised and not stress about planning those things, when I need to focus on the wedding... but then again, it's really hard to let go!

Did anyone have bad experiences after letting someone else take full control of their pre-wedding festivities?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on April 7, 2018 at 09:40
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    You sound exactly like me. When I got engaged, I added my mom and sister (MOH) into my Pinterest boards of all my inspiration, including my boards for my potential bridal shower. They were more than happy to have direction on where to take it because neither of them want to do the research/they really want to make sure it’s just what I want.

    Maybe just give them inspiration towards what you like but then let them do all the final details? I know it’s difficult to let others plan such an important event, but I’m sure it will be worth it!
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  • Amanda
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Amanda ·
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    I’m actually planning both my bridal shower and my bachelorette parties. I tried to hand it off to my MOH but she didn’t seem to know what she was doing. In her defence, she’s never been to a wedding before, so she doesn’t exactly have any experience. So I’m just doing it.
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  • Jocelyn
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Jocelyn ·
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    I handed the task off to my sister with a few guidelines:
    -just the bride & bridesmaids
    - something simple (ie brunch, spa day).

    i am not the typical stay up all night, drink till drunk etc. type.
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  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
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    Yep 🙋🏼‍♀️Lol my best friend/ MOH told me the same thing when I started talking to her about my shower and bachelorette. I told her I have no problem helping plan it! I actually told her I don’t want a shower and a bachelorette is good enough. I gave her some ideas I had in mind and she had some too. I’m happy she’s letting me choose what to do but that’s the type of person I am, not much for surprises.
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    We were just going to have it here, that's what I want but literally the only people okay with it were my dad and step mom, so at the point I just gave in. People were busy complaining how "expensive" it will be for them, they seem to have forgotten who's paying for the wedding plus flights to the wedding. So as of right now planning is on hold and it's killing me! Only my sister and our mutual friend are willing to step up and do stuff so I'll need luck since I have the other two to deal with now
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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    Fingers crossed that things come together for your shower! I know it may seem like a lost cause, but a lot can be done in even a few days!! I hope it turns out better than you expect.

    My MOH is my younger sister (only a year, but still my baby sister)... so this is my first time really needing to see her as a responsible adult to be able to plan these events. She will have help from my mom, who is the person I get my control freaky-ness from. So I'm trying to woo-saaaa and breathe.

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    My MOH gets frustrated with me loads about the bachelorette party and my dominating ways.

    I really try to back off but I"m the uber planner of our group of friends and I just want to be helpful.


    It's hard to back off though.

    My wedding shower is a disaster. My cousin offered to host it, but the supposed date is pretty close and nothing's been done. I had people asking me about it, so I kept having to chase her. I've been chasing her since February so I told her to not worry about it. Now my mum is trying to plan it on short notice, but that doesn't sound like its happening so.. anyway.. Its just bleh.

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    Ugh, I couldn't imagine planning a wedding cross-country. It's one of the #1 reasons we booted the idea of any destination wedding... even just as far as the Okanagan!

    I hope some of your girls step up and help out. I think it's okay that you plan/organize it, but it really should be up to them to execute the legwork to get it done! Good luck!

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    I think my sister really gets it when I say I don't want to go out/spend a bunch of money. I'm not the traditional type when it comes to the bachelorette... for the bridal shower though, I would say I'm more on the traditional side, so I don't think she can go too wrong there.

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    That's kind of where I'm at right now... haha. I'm feeding ideas, and saying what I'd like/not like... then going "Oh, but it's up to you to decide/plan"... I think if my sister ever wasn't sure, she would just ask me.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    I agree with you, I want to have say in those events. I told them I have full say in both as I wouldn’t be happy doing certain things for my bachelorette party if it was up to some we wouldn’t at all.
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    If I don't plan my bachelorette then it's not happening.. I'm at a point right now where I can only count on two bridesmaids.. my moh lives so far away from the others so I don't expect her to be able to drop everything and do stuff. But my one bridesmaid I'm on the verge of kicking her to the curb.. I may have to let someone plan my wedding for me since I'm so far but I can't..I'd rather cancel it then let someone else take full control.
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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    100% with you on that for the simple reason that I hate surprises.

    Not matter what's being planned, I'd want a hand in it. Even if it's just giving them a list of things I'd rather not do, or things I'd love to do and places I had in mind. At least, doing that would give me peace of mind haha.

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