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Cash
Curious May 2022 British Columbia

Postponing the honeymoon?

Cash, on December 18, 2019 at 19:44 Posted in Honeymoon 0 17
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Hi brides, I'm in a bit of a pickle here and could use some advice! About me:

This summer has been wicked busy, planning a wedding, and doing full time school in a competitive 40-60% drop out rate program. I picked our wedding date based on the fact that winter convocation has historically been in feburary for my school. I recently found out that i will be graduating with honours, and for someone who has had an averahe of 2.3 GPA, that's no small feat!
Here's the kicker: this year, convocation will be held March 12... Our wedding is march 7.My fiance and I are doing things the old fashioned way, meaning we've never lived together, and we dont get to go on trips with eachother (without a chaperone)... so my fiance is reluctant to postpone our tropical honeymoon.
My question is, what would you do? I feel that he's being a little selfish by asking me to miss my one opportunity to walk across the stage with those chords, especially when it's such a difficult program, and I worked my ass off.
I can see how its also selfish for me to ask him to postpone this moment that hes been looking forward to for so long, for a vain moment of self celebration and photo ops... it's not like i dont get my degree if I cant make the convocation. I just feel that I worked so hard to get there, and I deserve that moment.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Gabriel, on April 27, 2020 at 09:14
  • G
    Newbie April 2020 New Brunswick
    Gabriel ·
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    We were postponing our honeymoon because our wife was studying. The honeymoon has shifted by literally two weeks. We weren't upset.


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  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
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    Postpone for sure. We are just because we have two young kids so I don’t really see what the big deal is. You are right you worked hard to get where you are so make sure you celebrate it
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  • A
    Newbie February 2020 Ontario
    Anna-Lisa ·
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    This a tough choice BUT postpone honeymoon it’s completely normal not to proceed on one immediately. ESP when it’s for an achievement such as this one. Congrats!! Your educational advancement will definitely contribute to the marriage so why not celebrate it. You can have it all. A honeymoon is no less exciting a few days later.
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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    Girl, go to your graduation. This is a once in a lifetime moment. You SHOULD be proud of your accomplishments, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate what you've achieved!!

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Theres no harm in postponing your honeymoon so you could do both!!! you can also change ur honeymoon so you guys leave on the 12th! like maybe in the evening so you can do both!

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  • Cash
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Cash ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you to everyone for the advice. Lucky for me, the fiancé is the last minute type, and hadnt booked any flights yet. I talked to him, and while I agree that it kinda sucks that we'd end up postponing our honeymoon by 3-4 days, this is one life moment that I just didnt want to have to miss. He's not thrilled, but he's been my #1 cheerleader through this whole process, and he said even if hes annoyed at the timing, hes still gonna love and support me through this too. It was a sacrifice for him, but I'm so grateful to have a wonderful partner who loves me enough to put my wants and needs before his own... and a community of people who've been through this same situation before!!
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I did attend my convocation and while my program wasn't too difficult, I did want to walk across that stage, shake hands with my dean, and celebrate something I accomplished.

    It might be selfish to want that, but I say you deserve to be selfish in this situation! I would see if your FH would be open to doing a mini-moon (small vacation closer to home for less time) right after your wedding so you can attend convocation - it sounds important to you, it should be important to him.

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  • M
    Curious January 2020 Ontario
    Megan ·
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    You're the only one who can decide how important that ceremony is to you. Personally, I was thousands of kilometers away enjoying the Italian sunshine on my convocation day ... we did a really fancy meal to celebrate the day (yum!) but being there was a million times more fun for me than sitting in a stadium on crappy chairs for 3 hours watching people I barely knew get a piece of paper Smiley winking

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I think it all depends on what means more to you both as a couple.


    Personally, for me, my convocations were so boring - the degree meant more for me than the convocation. However, I'm not going to convince you not to go - that is totally your choice - you've earned your degree and you get to decide.


    However, I'd sit down and figure out what means more and go from there. I don't think there's an issue moving your honeymoon but definitely figure out if moving it is going to cost you any extra money.

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  • Lisa
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Lisa ·
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    I think you can find a way that works for both of you.


    I understand that he wants the private moments with you that you have both been waiting for, but it's also reasonable for you to want this moment to celebrate your achievements.


    As others suggested, maybe a small, few day getaway is a good compromise for both with the understanding that you can plan a more formal honeymoon later if that's what you both planned and wanted?

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  • Alexandra
    Frequent user February 2022 Quebec
    Alexandra ·
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    Go to the ceremony! You worked hard and you deserve it! You could definitely do a mini moon as a compromise and do your honeymoon later, but you deserve this moment of celebration.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I personally don't understand you'll be married forever. You can do a honeymoon anytime. Your convocation is only one day out of that. I think its selfish for your FH to ask you to give that up. Speaking as someone who didn't walk across that stage and has always regretted that. He should be proud of what you've done and want you to have that moment. If it was the other way around would you not want that for him?
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  • Melissa
    Newbie May 2021 Alberta
    Melissa ·
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    Don’t miss your graduation. You worked your butt off to get to where you are and that is a major accomplishment. You will regret it in the future not going. A mini honeymoon would be a blast... your first honeymoon does not have to be a big and expensive extravaganza because as long as you two are together that is all you need
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  • A
    Super September 2020 Ontario
    Amelia ·
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    I totally get what you mean. I didn't give a hoot about my earlier convocations either but I busted my butt to get my MA and walking across that stage felt damn good and I wouldn't have wanted to sacrifice that. Selfish? Maybe. But I feel like it's also selfish to not want you to have your moment that you worked so hard for. And you're obviously both looking forward to your honeymoon so it's not like he's the only one who's disappointed.

    Do the two of you have somewhere to live together after you're married?

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    On one hand, I get wanting to walk that stage - and on the other hand, it's just walking across the stage and I don't even think I will do it when I graduate...

    I see a few options:

    1. Have a honeymoon that is only a week long - heck, if your pick an expensive enough of a place to go then that's a full honeymoon and you'll be back in time anyway right?

    2. Mini moon first! Me and my DH didn't have the time right after we got married so we just took off 3 work days and mini-mooned inside the city until we were able to plan our actual honeymoon that is next week (and guess what - it's only a week long anyway!!)

    3. Postpone until just after the stage walk? Is there a strong reason why he is so against postponing it or is it just because he doesn't want to have to wait literally a week?


    Maybe sit down with wine and have a pro/cons list discussion for all the options? Smiley smile

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    I don't think postponing is a big deal. You could have a mini moon in you're worried about missing the immediate *intimate* romantic vacation moments.


    I also agree with Meghan. I remember by high school graduation more than my University convocation. But don't miss it if you think you'll regret it forever. Also could you be allowed to join a later convocation, or would you miss not having the moment with your classmates?
    Our honeymoon likely won't be right after our wedding. But we've also lived together for 3 years.
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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    You know what? I barely remember my convocation. Writing my last exam was significant, getting my first job out of school was significant, but the convocation ceremony? It really wasn't something that felt all that significant to me. Obviously it may be very different for you, but given my own frame of reference, I would totally skip the ceremony for my honeymoon.
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