Postponement Fun

Hey Kristen - I definitely feel your pain! My fiancé and I are supposed to be getting married in October 2020 in Ontario as well. We actually were originally supposed to get married in June but decided to postpone as soon as Covid started to try and make sure we secured a later date in 2020. I was feeling all smug (back in March) thinking that we had sorted it all out and that everything would be fine by October but it looks like I might have been wrong! We have been together for 7 years and want to wait to start a family/ buy a house after the wedding. We are facing the fact that we may have to postpone again to sometime next year or elope (assuming we can even do that) and have a 1 year anniversary party at the venue sometime when it is safe again. I was never a big wedding dreamer but I was really excited about the small wedding we had planned and it is really hard to think that it either won't happen or that we will have to wait even longer to get married. I am just trying to be grateful and to take all of this day by day. Thinking of all of you all and it's nice to know we're not alone! We will all get there eventually.

View quoted message I’m sorry - it’s not an easy decision! 😔💕

We just officially postponed to next year 😪

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It’s really hard to stay relaxed when every day there’s new info, the world is changing, and we don’t know what will happen! Especially when there are still things that need to get done. But it’s so out of our control at this point. I think it will be a bit of relief when a decision is made, but definitely heartbreaking as well. I would definitely need some time to grieve, and maybe step back from planning for a while if I have to postpone. Our backup date is next fall for that reason, we’re not sure if spring will be ok if this year isn’t...

Plus we already have a fall wedding planned so it was just easier. But definitely feels so far away... Waiting an extra year and having gone through all this will definitely make the day more emotional and special than ever though!

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That’s what has been the hardest part for us is the family part because we were planning to start trying like AS SOON as we got back from the honeymoon.. (which was booked in Italy and Greece... which is also not going to happen..) and just coming to terms with having to wait a year has been hard.

I think that once I make a decision I will be able to make my peace with it. For now the unknown is KILLING me. I think we will wait until June sometime to officially postpone. Either that or if one of our vendors gets an inquiry for our back up date that also might do it. If we do have to postpone it would be nice to just be able to stop worrying for a while, and step back from all the news and stuff.

I hope you find a solution that works for you guys! Every wedding is a wonderful thing no matter what it looks like

View quoted message Im so glad we’ve all found each other! Brings a little bit of brightness to this whole thing!
You’re 100% right! When you get engaged/start planning, you know to look out for a few stressful things and (potentially) lots of drama - but no one could have predicted all the original wedding stress AND a global pandemic -.-

If you do decide to postpone, yeah, it’s hard thinking of when things could be better.. so many April etc couples postponed till August, and they may have to again I would hope that by spring would be better.. For us, we’re having an October wedding either way. 1-we love the time of year 2-(kinda a big thing) our venue is -currently- only accepting postponements for the same month the following year, and only on ‘off’ days because all Saturdays were already full. (We wanted a Friday anyways so not a big deal - but I feel for the couples who were looking forward to a Saturday!) Our venue also isn’t really making any decisions till August or so, so we are in limbo for a while.
It’s hard, but relaxing atm is needed. We actually decided to cut costs recently and just make our own wedding cake (future stressed me may 100% hate current me haha) - so I’ve been working on the recipe now and then.. so I have a little wedding hope, something to do and good food helping me pull through right now! If there’s anything small to figure out, and you need something to do, now would be a good time. For the most part though, just relaxing and remembering how you felt when you first got engaged (before planning) is definitely worth focusing on. Your FH sounds amazing and like he’s able to keep you grounded, that’s much needed in these times!

View quoted message Awesome, I love finding name friends!
It’s so hard trying to figure things out.. even if things were 100% normal by wedding time, would we have enough time to get all the basics done?

I’m in the same boat family wise. As of October we’ll have been together 7 years and wanted to have a year of marriage before kids.. but then does that mean we have to change what we want so it’s either wedding and immediate kids or wait 9 years to have kids.. if you got married this year or next, are you looking at starting to have kids in a specific time frame, or just whenever it happens after the wedding?
I’m glad your FH is still hopeful/calm! I know it’ll work out how it’s meant to, but it still really sucks. Most vendors are offering to transfer over deposits to a postponement date ie photographers. One option you could look into is if they move ‘the whole package’ to the new date and you could just hire them for an hour for the small ceremony of you do one this year. That way you’re covered both ways. It’s definitely something to start to talk with them about and see what everyone’s options are.
So many couples are going through this - I just wish we weren’t so far out so we’d have a better idea.. in the end though, I hope we’re all able to get married in some way, and that the world starts to recover. The world is going through such a horrible situation and not an easy time for anyone.

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Hey Kristen! Even tho this whole thing sucks, I'm so glad I found the two of you who are going through all the same things as me!! There are so many things to think about one way or another. That's the thing, if I postpone, when will I postpone to? Who is saying that next spring or summer everything will be fine? I can't imagine waiting until next fall to get married!

I honestly just keep telling myself (OK, a lot of times my FH has to remind me lol) that we aren't going to make a decision for another month or so, so I might as well just try relax ATM and not stress out about things. Everything seems to change so quickly and we hear so many different things it's hard to know what to believe or do right now.

Definitely hard times and not what you think you're going to run into when you start to plan a wedding or get engaged!! Oh well... we'll get there in the end. All the best.

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I'm the same as you! We are going to wait until after the wedding to try and start a family too lol.

That is such a great idea about having the small ceremony this year and the big party next year. I am all about having a smaller guest list too. I think for us it depends on the size of gathering we are allowed to have this year. If it's 50+ people, we might just keep it more intimate overall (still use our venue etc. if we are allowed) and leave off next year's party. If it's less than 50, that's basically just our family and a couple of friends, we would probably have something next year.

Have you sent out save the date cards to your entire guest list?

Another Kristen with an October wedding here !🙋‍♀️ Both of you ladies are saying ALL the same things I’m going through right now! Trying to navigate when to make a decision, still needing to get alterations and suits, and a few other things organized but can’t just yet. We’re even also debating the “sequel wedding” too. I thought it was a sweet idea and good compromise and we also REALLY don’t want to postpone as we were so looking forward to starting a family right away and would like to be married first. But as I started trying to figure out the details of what it would look like I got a bit overwhelmed. For example, do I use my photography and video for this year or next ? Do I pay for it twice ? Will they be allowed to shoot then legally? Will I be able to get hair and makeup? so many questions the cake up about things I can’t control or even plan for I started to just think “I’d rather just postpone” to make it less stressful. Although we also want to hold out a bit longer to make a decision, my FH is still optimistic even though I’m trying not to get my hopes too high.


So many back and forth debates and mixed feelings and of course just sadness for what we will be missing out on and of course the state of the world right now. These are hard times but we will get our weddings one way or another !

View quoted message I’m so glad we’re not alone! It sucks so many couples are going through a tough time, but at least we have each other!


Yeah - I’m kinda impatient, and (though we’re not completely traditional) I want to wait and start a family. Getting married next year would really put a delay on things lol.
What I was hoping to do is maybe have a small ceremony ie immediate family and then do the party next year and do a 1yr vowel renewal. We’ve already put down a deposit for the venue, so I feel like one way or another we need to use it. Our wedding date is also important to us, so while we could do the day before (next year), I’d rather not..If we did, we’d definitely invite all our original guests to the 1yr celebration.. so many are looking forward to it, we want to share our love with our family/friends - the people who helped us become the people we are, and we would really like to have the whole experience too. Regardless, I would personally love to have the experience with a little smaller list (ie not have people we haven’t talked to in 10 years lol), but my FH’s parents and a few others are really wanting a large party to celebrate haha.
Do you think you’d do a celebration next year if you do decide to have a small gathering, or would you maybe just keep it more intimate over all?
We will see what happens, but Yay! I’m excited to have a fellow bride friend!

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Thanks Kristen! That is actually a great idea. I've toyed with that thought as well, I mean I know it's not ideal and that's not what we're all planning on and hoping for, but I am with you on the part where we just don't want to wait! It seems like already such a big countdown to the big day, the last thing I want to do is wait another year. If you did do the 1 year celebration, that would still include everyone in sharing your love, and give everyone something to look forward to despite all this going on now.

I'd definitely like to keep in touch! It's so nice to know we're not alone in this!

View quoted message Thank you Jess,


I’m thinking of you and fingers crossed too! That’s a good idea - to not stress and not worry about it until June/July. I’m really hoping that as we move forward, there’ll be enough time to do everything.
One thing I was thinking would be to ‘elope’ on our wedding date and do a 1yr celebration & vowl renewal next year so everyone gets the big party they are looking forward to. My FH and MIL aren’t 100% happy with the idea.. but we’ve been together 7 yrs (in Oct .. 2 days after our current wedding date lol) and I don’t really want to wait!
If you’re up for it, I’d love to keep touch with you!
-Kristen

Hey Kristen! I am also hoping to get married in October, and we live in Ontario as well! I have most of the big stuff planned, but I'm in the same boat as you re: suits and dress. My FH and I are hoping things will be better by October and so far aren't moving any plans or trying to worry about it too much, because we REALLY do not want to postpone (we will probably just have a teeny tiny wedding in October if that's still all that's allowed)... To help myself not stress out (because I'm usually a big planner!) I am telling myself that I can't make any big decisions until at least the end of June/beginning of July.

So, just wanted to let you know I know what you're going through, it's such a tough and stressful time for everyone right now! Thinking of you and crossing my fingers things improve quickly.