Celeste
Newbie August 2019 Ontario

Post wedding blues - Am I the only one?

Celeste, on January 22, 2020 at 18:16 Posted in Just married 0 16
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Hi everyone,

Sorry the title was suppose to be post wedding blues!


I got married in Aug 31, 2018. It was the best time of my life, I love every moment of it, yes it was super stressful and almost every weekend in the summer of June to Aug I was so busy planning thing for the wedding. About 2 months ago, I have started to feel super depressed/ sad and I wasn't sure if I was the only one so feels this way!

I feel so so lost in life, confused, lost as a person and not sure what to do since I have reached a milestone which is getting married. I have so much time on my hands now that all I do is watch TV, go to the gym, house cleaning and think about why am I not happy. I should be happy but I am not, the man I married we have been together for 9 years.

Another thing, I feel a lot of pressure when other people ask me if I am having kids. Frankly, both my husband and I aren't ready for it. I mean if I am already depressed how can I even have kids if I can't take care of myself! But the question, stresses me out and I wonder am I suppose to have kids, is that what people do!? I love what we have now, we get to travel all we need to do is find a pet sitter for our dog but that is no problem to find since his parents adores our dog.


Is there anyone going through this? Am I the only odd duck out there.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Goomba, on October 24, 2020 at 23:44
  • Goomba
    Newbie August 2000 Ohio
    Goomba ·
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    I got married 2 weeks after high school fast forward age 27 three kids later wife left because she said she wasn’t happy so I was a single father without any help with the kids from her whatsoever no girls wanted to be with me what girl in her 20s wants to be with a busy single father of 3 raising his kids by himself my parents moved out of state I was totally alone I latched on to the first woman that looked my way I just figured since I couldn’t have a single life it would be best for my kids WRONG her kids were demons everyone was telling her why do you want him with a ready made family her family didn’t like me at all I put up with too much garbage thinking who else would want me now my kids are grown I always bullshitted myself saying I’ll have my life n fun later WRONG again all of my friends are married now raising their kids people listen get out now while you’re young you’ll regret it deep in your soul later
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  • Goomba
    Newbie August 2000 Ohio
    Goomba ·
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    Get a divorce
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  • Celeste
    Newbie August 2019 Ontario
    Celeste ·
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    View quoted message

    Thank you for your comments! I really thought I was alone, I managed to get out of the post-wedding blues but it was hard to deal with. I also suffer from winter blues. Having both post-wedding blues AND winter blues really made it very difficult to survive. But I managed to get through it.

    I still have people asking me if I am going to have a baby and I really think people should stop as not everyone is lucky can have one, or if they had a miscarriage as this can be a very sensitive topic for some people. And you are right, it is the decision between you and your partner but don't let that stress you since you have are planning your big celebration. I tell myself to enjoy life first and that "I" come first and that my needs come first. You do get used to the question, I have but it still annoys me! After a while, people have stopped asking me but the baby topic does come up now and then. Both my husband and I laugh it off when we are alone at home!

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  • Sheri-Lyn
    Frequent user May 2022 Ontario
    Sheri-Lyn ·
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    Post wedding blues.. you are not alone at all. I was feeling this way for a bit after our legal ceremony. I still have the big celebration to look forward to but I guess right now we don't know for sure if that will even happen as we are planning for next year until we kn ow more about this virus.

    We have people telling us we should try and have a baby now before the big celebration day next year but I just don't think we are ready for that and I really don't want to stress if my dress is going to fit.

    It as got to be the decision you and your husband make. it can really be hard when people keep asking when.

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Plan for a big vacation or buy a house or do some renovations!! that will keep your mind occupied!! we arent even married yet and people are asking when were having kids. im like ummm no calm down. people need to mind their business.

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  • Sharla
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Sharla ·
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    I’ve never seen that show, but I’m happy your hubby is on your side. We planned one wedding for this past December and another upcoming in July - I’m curious to see what happens after our July wedding. I am thinking it will be more of a feeling that our relationship isn’t actually different besides having a new title of husband and wife.
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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    You've gotten some wonderful love and advice, so I just want to throw my support at you too! Post wedding blues is not uncommon, but if you feel like this might be something more than the blues, it's important to talk to someone. A counselor can help you sort out what is the blues and what is depression, and can help arm you with replies for the questions that throw you off and give you skills to help you take care of yourself during a stressful adjustment period. Don't hesitate to reach out to those around you and talk about how you're feeling. I hope you start feeling good soon!

    If you want to talk more please DM me, I'm here for you!!

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Girl, I definitely feel you here!! You are not alone!


    I like to look forward to events/vacations/anything extraordinary in life. While wedding planning was stressful/time consuming, I obviously looked forward to our wedding day, and it was an amazing day. We also did our honeymoon right after so once we got back home, I definitely fell into a funk. Also, I'm pretty sure I get Seasonal Affective Disorder, or Winter Blues, where I'm feeling down in the colder, darker winter months.


    I'd definitely talk to anyone you'd lean on for support. If you had a bridal party, reach out to them. Talk to friends, maybe plan a night-out with them. Also make sure your DH knows where you're at. He might be oblivious to how you're feeling. I find talking to people helps me out with feeling blue. You could also look into picking up a new hobby, read some new books, etc. Was there anything you enjoyed doing before the wedding planning took over? Try to get back into that.


    As for kids, only you and your DH can make the call as to whether or not you want them. If you decide to be child-free, most people still don't grasp that, but stand your ground and enjoy travelling without children!

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  • Celeste
    Newbie August 2019 Ontario
    Celeste ·
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    Thank you so much for your kind advice! And I wish I knew that you can get down on major events, but I also wish there was more talk about that. All we dream was to get married, but I feel there aren't any talk that about the mental health part. Mayy be there are and I just didn't know!
    Yes, all that 1 year if planning you forget what your normal life was and your like what am I suppose to do. I have taken up on paint by Numbers to do on my spare time. So just waiting for it to come in the mail!
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  • Celeste
    Newbie August 2019 Ontario
    Celeste ·
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    I know! They are all such positive advice/comments! And yes I have talked about this with my husband, we are very open to everything and we always talk about the good and bad! He has been very supportive from the beginning but I know he was getting very worried about me, seeing me all upset. He hates to see me so sad! I just wish there were more talk about this, how you may or may not get the blues after the wedding. I actually didn't know about this until I was watching Grace and Frankie!
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  • Sharla
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Sharla ·
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    I love this advice about keeping your husband in the loop! So many times people try to hide what they are going through from their partners. It’s KEY to a healthy relationship to be able to talk openly about the good and the bad!
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
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    I think feeling the post - event - blues is totally normal. I get this way after any major project or event I have thrown. Usually spend a few days crying over it and just over all down, feeling like I have no purpose for the moment. You might just snap out of it! And if not, no harm in exploring it further and talking to someone Smiley smile I also agree with shifting focus to something new and exciting, even if its little.


    As for the kids thing, I feel you! FH and I decided (quite firmly) this past year that we did not want to have children of our own. We love our life the way it is and if we look into the future, there is no space for another human in there. However, that always falls on deaf ears and we are just continiously told that we will change our minds as we get older. Welp, we are in our early 30's so not sure how much older we need to be? I have just gotten to the point where I shut down when the topic comes up. There really is no wrong or right answer though! Kids now, kids later, no kids, its ENTIRELY up to you and your partner. Everyone else be darned.


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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I felt that after I was in a wedding (3 in one year actually) I love planning. I wouldnt worry too much about having kids right away (or at all if that is what you and hubby feel is right for you). I find that planning little trips help. Even if it's to go to a concert. Something to look forward to. It's good you are going to the gym too. It goes a long way to help keep the blues away. Definitely keep hubby in the loop about how you are feeling. If it continues maybe talk to your doctor.
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  • Eden
    Frequent user August 2021 British Columbia
    Eden ·
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    I always get depressed after big events or trips. You have this build up of excitement but once it's over it's like you don't know what to look forward to anymore. I'll probably feel the same after my wedding this year, but we aren't taking our honeymoon until 2021 so I'm hoping that will give me something to stay excited about. Don't have kids right away just because you feel like you're "supposed to", it's a big decision and if/when the time is right you will know. It's good to enjoy this time in your life while you have it. Try to plan events that you can get excited about. It doesn't have to be anything big, maybe a concert or festival, or even just planning a party. If you are bored at home now might be a good time to take up any hobbies that interest you.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    This is common after any big event.
    It might help to find a project or an activity for you and your new husband to do (hiking, painting, a renovation or facelift in your home, a trip) anything that you can look forward to and plan for. That way you've got something to look forward to doing together that requires a bit of forethought and excitement. It doesn't need to be something big. Like if you wanted to start hiking then you need to plan trails, maybe book some time off, borrow/buy some supplies. All of that will get you excited and back into planning mode.

    I also can't help but think of Monica from friends feeling the same way on the day after her wedding so you're definitely not alone!
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    There are feelings after wedding that may happen in different ways. We feel we have everything though the happiness should be there and stress that get mixed in with it. Its never easy though you can find projects that can keep you busy or make time with friends to go out make time to spend with them. You need to be around those that love and support you no matter what happens.

    The depression your going through should be brought up to your husband to know how you feel inside and how it should resolved by seeing your doctor or changing things up.

    There are challenges I face as well after being married to my husband 2 years now. There are battles we will come upon given the differences of interests, conversations and doing things together.

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