Planning your own bachelorette party?

I feel you! Im kinda tribe-less too .. i have 1 MOH and 2 little flower girls

and none of my other "friends" have asked about wedding stuff or wanted to go for drinks or anything.. so I'm kinda in the same boat. I feel like i'm being annoying if i talk about anything wedding related. the only one who really wants to talk about the wedding is my grandma haha but honestly I would rather have less "friends" that actually care than girls who are just talking about everything to be invited to your big day

UPDATE:

I've decided to just plan it myself, since I know what I want and I just need to suck it up. So, I've messaged my girlfriends with the idea of a destination bachelorette (Palm Springs or South Beach). I thought that would make it fair for all of us to travel somewhere, instead of just half the group. So far, out of 10 girls, 6 have said yes and 4 are maybes. I'm SO excited.

I've told them I'd get back to them this Fall with more details (dates, flights, accommodations and overall prices) to confirm the head count and start booking.

I can't thank all of you enough, seriously!!

I think this post helped me overcome my pity party! - someone said "ask your friends whom you would invite to the bachelorette party for ideas" ---- simple. thank you. If no one jumps to helping with ideas they probably wont want to plan it but if people are really enthusiastic about it they may jump in and say "ooh - i'll take care of that part!"

sigh out. Its all good.

I have a bridal party but I took the bachelorette planning responsibilities because everyone agreed to do a destination bachelorette but wanted me to decide everything after that
im sure you can ask someone to help you plan it or see if someone would take over the whole planning process, a lot of girls love to help brides with this kind of stuff so it shouldn't be an issue finding help!

Hi Valerie,

We aren’t having a formal wedding party either! I had a pre-bachelorette party this past weekend! I know you don’t want to feel obligated to have anyone plan it. With that being said for my event I setup a group message with all the girls I wanted to include and they just started to take the lead on things and insisted I not shop. I’m having the same thing happen with my bridal shower. Obviously all groups are different but you might be surprised how your friends what to be included regardless of you not having a bridal party!

For me I am a planner and happy to do things myself but my close friends wanted to still each take on a roll. I’ve also found that since none of them have an obligation to take on a specific tasks they are happy to help and be apart of the special activities.

I hope you get want you want out of these things!

View quoted message Love your intimate wedding!!!

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I know exactly what you mean. I was a bridesmaid once and some of the stuff the MOH pulled on the Bride just made me cringe. We found out after the bachelorette weekend that the Bride had given the MOH a list of things that were off limits and ideas, and instead of sharing it with the rest of the crew, she chucked it and did her own thing. I was so mad and couldn't stop apologizing to the Bride.

Thank you SO much ladies, I really appreciate it

Reading about your plans has definitely inspired me to kick my doubts to the curb and ask my girlfriends for ideas. I'll definitely keep you posted

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I'm very envious of you being able to keep the guest list so low! That's what we wanted at first, but quickly realized it wasn't going to work. To be honest, your evening at the cottage sounds lovely and relaxing.

I don’t want a bachelorette party. I might get one anyways but.....
I’d do it myself otherwise. This way you can do what you want. And invite who you want. You could make it simple or as elaborate as you like. Not as fun as when someone else plans it for you but at least you get one. Good luck. Keep us posted.

I am the same. My best girl friends are scattered all across Canada, and really only 3 are even coming because we’re limiting our whole guest list (include me and fiance) to 50. So... no tribe. That’s ok with me though! I hate bachelorette parties, and I really don’t drink unless it’s a holiday party or something. So the night before the wedding (which is at parents’ cottage), my MOH/main witness, my photographer (also a really good friend) and female cousins, mom, aunt will all just hang out at the cottage and have a bonfire. Then the next day we’re already there to start getting ready!

The rest of our “wedding party” is also witnesses. My brother standing by my MOH, and my fiance’s two sisters standing by him.

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No for sure! I'm trying my hardest to make sure things don't get expensive for my girls but with outfits and accessories and parties... it just adds up so quickly. It can be a huge commitment financially for people for sure!

View quoted message I am! Despite a few challenges along the way, we’re doing a party bus and small town pub crawl. I think we’ll have dinner first then play games at my place. Then the bus picks us up and takes us to three towns/bars and then brings us back to the city and takes us wherever we want to go there. I wanted to party and dance though lol I know not all people are into that but I told my girls I want a fun/wild night! Most of my girls agreed and want to have a good time

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Oooh that's exciting!! Do you have anything planned for when you'll be asking your partner in crime to be your MOH?

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Oh I know the feeling, I hate surprises! I'd rather have some small part in the process than none at all! What has your MOH planned, are you excited?

That's a great idea, I didn't think of including my FH in this process. Thank you

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We're not having a shower either, as we can't afford to fly back every year or multiple times in one year.

You're right though, I should just ask my friends for ideas! Thanks

View quoted message Good point! If I do end up planning something, I should see if they could fly to me or at least meet halfway-ish! Thanks

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You're right, being in this position, you definitely have a broader perspective on everybody's situation and limitations. I never thought about it that way. I shouldn't be so hard on myself! Thank you

View quoted message I totally understand. That's one of the reasons my FH didn't want a wedding party, he didn't want his buddies to have to pay for stuff when most of them have either just bought a house or had a baby.

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That's so nice of you to have asked her, I'm sure she's thrilled and thankful for you taking the initiative!

You're right, I should just step up myself and let it be known that I might need help! Thank you!!

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I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

That's basically what most of my married girlfriends have told me, that I'm saving myself from all the drama.

I guess I'll ask around and see what people are thinking! Thanks

Though about not having a bachelorette party. But discuss it with my sister and she wanted to plan it for me. I end up saying no as she live in other city. But will ask my MOH to do it. I planned not to have a MOH and after asking the community in another chat, I decided to go for one ! she does not know yet and will tell her this Friday..she is my partner in crime for foodies adventure!!

Mines being planned right now as it’s at the end of May. At first my MOH wanted to surprise me but I said I’d like to be involved lol I’m not much for surprises. Then it seems like no one ever answers my MOH when she asks questions and tries to plan with the other girls. So I’ve being planning with my MOH. I told her I don’t min helping I just don’t want to do it all or else it doesn’t feel right to me. If I didn’t have a bridal party then that’d be diffierent. It’d a decision I’d have to make if I wanted to plan it or not but since I’ve planned most of it lol seems like I probably would. Maybe you and your FH could plan something together, not that you have to combine parties but you could help each other out a bit with planning and get a few friends or close family members involved.

I don't have a MOH, just two bridesmaids (my sister and my best friend). My sister is too far away to really plan anything, and my best friend is very busy, but she still asked me if I wanted something. My futures SILs also asked.

In the end, I let my friend suggest ideas, and I chose one of them, as well as the date and the people I want there. We're not doing anything fancy, just a board game night with my sister, SILs and closest friends.

I'm not having a shower at all since I don't really see the point, but one of my SILs offered to organize it had I wanted one (apparently the women at a church couldn't even imagine a wedding without a shower).

I have a bridal party, andi still think I'll end up planning it. They all live in Ontario. 2 live in the same city, another 4 hours away and the MOH 8 hours away. I live in BC, so having a bachelorette means I either travel there, or they travel here. Well since I am traveling there the next month for the wedding I can't afford to do it twice so close together. So they all agreed to come here, which means since I'm here and I know what's here then I'll have to plan it probably. Planning your own bachelorette is fine, I mean yes I'd like to have it done for me since I'm planning the wedding but at this point if I don't plan it then I don't get it. Don't be afraid to ask a friend to plan or help you plan it, since you don't have a wedding party I'm sure they will be very happy to be involved with that.

I had my MOH plan the bachelorette party for me. I had only 4 people in my wedding party, who also live across the country (two in BC and two in Ontario and myself in the NWT). It was quite the planning process for her.

Honestly, if I could have planned my own, I would have done it. While they planned some fun stuff for me, we also went out in the evening, which just isn't my thing. I would have rather had a nice day at the spa.

Best of luck to you!

I planned my own bachelorette party because I know everyone's limitations with distance, cost, newborn babies, comfort level, etc. I tried to plan something that catered to everyone's needs. I think you should just jump in and plan your own bachelorette party, secure a date and go from there. Invite your friends, family, inlaws. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or others, it's a time for celebration

I have a party and so far it's been a combined effort! I don't want them to spend an arm and a leg (though I would be more than happy to pay my portion) I have made some suggestions for ideas and get aways to make things a bit easier! When it comes closer to the day I'll help with it in any way I can!

The Bridal Shower I suspect my mom will completely take care of, but I am very down in helping with the bachelorette!

I wouldn't worry too much about doing it yourself! Or maybe plan it with one other person so you can suggest ideas with! Nothing wrong at all with planning it on your own!

This one’s tricky. I chose to have only my two closest friends in my bridal party, so they’re organizing something for me together next weekendz However, one of my bridesmaid is getting married a month after I am and decided not to have a bridal party. She has a sister and tons of great friends, but it’s not clear who should be the one planning a bachelorette for her! I ended up speaking to her about it, and will take the initiative to contact her other friends so that we can brainstorm together. It’s likely that no one is stepping up because they assume someone else will.

Being tribe-less is less drama! It was very difficult for my fiancé and I to choose who we would like to stand up with us. But, we powered through and each chose 7 that we felt would continue to be big parts of our lives. However, I lost a friend in the process because she didn’t make time to get her dress and valued her time over the responsibility she accepted when she because a maid of hour. So, she backed out and asked me to never speak to her again. It definitely helps you weed out the people you don’t need in your life. As for the bachelorette party, my sister is my MOH and she is planning it all out. I am actually not allowed to help. I’m sure you could ask a friend or family member to help you with this task OR there is no shame in planning it on your own. Good luck! You got this!