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Becky
VIP September 2019 Ontario

Pastor issues- Leaving church before we get married

Becky, on August 13, 2019 at 11:44 Posted in Before the wedding 0 8
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We received a call the other night form our Pastor of our church saying he will be officially not with the church a week prior to our wedding. He is meeting with the board to see if they will still let him marry us as he doesn't think they will find a replacement that fast either.

Right now I am nervous as we have done the prep and decided on the style of service- this pastor is very relaxed and if we get someone new they could make the ceremony a traditional Lutheran which is up to 45 minutes to an hour.

When I was speaking to him we were told we had to pick a verse that represents us- my fh is going to as I am not really familiar with any of it. We also have to hand our vows into him a week prior for approval- which didn't know we needed to do!

I am so nervous that we will get some strict pastor who doesn't know us and hasn't gotten to know us and will do it their way. We won't find out for another week. We literally did all the counselling and attended church and got to know this pastor. It just would be meaningless to have a new person to do it.

Has anyone else had to deal with this before?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 12, 2019 at 16:16
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    I havent had to deal with this - but i would call the church and ask if you can speak with the person theyre going to bring it and explain to him what youre looking for in your ceremony!

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Thank you Meaghan! I'll give this a try

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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    This actually happened to my mom and dad. It was a Catholic wedding and they had a priest who was a bit of a maverick. He was pretty non-traditional for the Catholic church which my mom loved. A week before their wedding he left the priesthood to get married (quite the scandal!).
    I would try to get out in front of this and ask your pastor for contact information for the board. Then you can discuss your concerns regarding having a pastor marry you with whom you have no relationship and have completed no planning with. I would want to discuss those concerns directly with the decision makers. Hopefully they permit him this last service.
    Good luck!
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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    I didn't know this! We are from small town so normally there is a priest that either covers the one church or covers a few but I haven't heard of this happening before in our area. Normally they are long term and the change over takes few months but this case its not.

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    Oh no!

    We actually are nervous with our priest because they can change at any time or decide to go on vacation.

    i would ask the priest leaving, if he can’t stay longer, to meet with you and your new priest to go over what you’ve covered together. That way you can be in the room while he describes your ceremony to make sure it’s conveyed as you want it.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Ughhhhhh Smiley sad Sorry man, wish there was something that could be done to help

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Whoever takes over the church would have to perform our wedding and we would have less then a week to meet them, discuss what we want and for them to do their own counselling to approve us to be married there. This is downside- they said they would need to redo all steps. We wouldn't have time or would need to book off more time before wedding to get ti completed.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Yikes! I hope everything works out and that they let him perform the ceremony as his last task! If not, I'm sure the church will get one from another church to step in, no?

    I know that at the church that I'm apart of we have a priest that goes to multiple churches just at different times and he would have been more than willing to travel out of city for my wedding had we wanted him to marry us.

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