Shelagh
Newbie September 2022 Ontario

Overwhelmed

Shelagh, on April 19, 2021 at 09:37 Posted in WeddingWire 1 17
Saved
Reply

We got engaged this past March and I joined this online community. I have no idea what I'm doing, and the thought of planning a wedding has me completely overwhelmed before I even start. We already know we won't be getting married this year but people are asking me almost every single day what I've planned. Any tips for me people?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Kelsey, on May 7, 2021 at 23:37
  • Kelsey
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Kelsey ·
    • Dispute

    There's a great podcast, if you're into that, called the "wedding planning podcast". And I've found it really helpful to listen to, different advice and info each episode, and she answers listener questions that are sent in. I would skip through to the 2020 episodes, the earlier ones aren't great (Before she got into her groove I think)

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Kelsey ·
    • Dispute

    As for what I would say to people asking about the plans, I would say that you're planning as much as you can in times where plans are out the window for everyday life lol

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Kelsey ·
    • Dispute

    Congratulations! We got engaged in February, and kind of the same jumping off point of how do we start planning something when everything is so unknown and abnormal. We started by thinking about when/what month, knew it was going to be next year in 2022 considering everything that's going on currently. We then starting thinking about our guest list and made a core grouping of people who we couldn't imagine getting married without there, that made up our must-have number. At the same time we were thinking about venues and sorting out where we wanted to have it. I also have BIG anxiety with all the cancellations in 2020 and even still this year, that vendors will be completely booked and we'll have to wait even longer to get married because of all the bottlenecking that will be going on with engaged couples from almost 2 years trying to get married at the same time. I wanted to get the big things nailed down for sure soon to make sure we wouldn't be disappointed with either having to change our date or push that date forward. At this point, (13 months out from our set date, and 3 months after getting engaged) we have set our date, booked our reception hall, makeup, photographer, DJ, bartenders, stationary/invitations, and are in firm talks with our florist, a cake vendor, and caterer so at least our date is secured even if the details aren't yet. We've also chosen our wedding party members. I'm also keeping an eye on local buy sell facebook groups to scoop up some decor (which seems to be lacking in items right now because no one has been having weddings). A friend is our photographer so luckily we didn't have to compete with others for him when booking. I will say though, when I was looking other photographers, and at hair and makeup quite a few were already booked already fully for 2022, which seems crazy to me! So that kind of lit a fire under my butt to get going and secure vendors I knew I wanted right now. I don't mean to scare you but if there are non-negotiable items that you know you want, I wouldn't hesitate to start booking. The timelines are centered around NORMAL times, not COVID times, so don't feel like you have to wait until 3 months prior to book xx vendor, etc. My hope is that once all my big things are booked I can just relax and enjoy the engagement time afterwards and leading up to the wedding knowing I don't have to scramble to find vendors or am missing out on a vendor I really wanted.

    • Reply
  • Tracy
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Tracy ·
    • Dispute

    Congratulations! Enjoy your engagement.

    Tips - do what you both want forget everyone else.

    -have a back up plan

    -ensure when you are booking your vendors (ALL of them) that they will offer refunds, date changes and cancellations - so important now more than ever.

    Good luck.

    • Reply
  • Katerina
    Curious August 2021 Ontario
    Katerina ·
    • Dispute

    I've been experiencing the same! I've never been one to have my dream wedding planned out so it has been a lot of careful decisions. It has to be yours! People will always have opinions but at the end of the day you want it to resonate with what matters to you. For me, I was worried about getting the big things booked/sorted (venue, photographer, officiant, dress etc) and now for the smaller things I feel they are more manageable (like centerpieces and wedding favors).

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Kelsey ·
    • Dispute
    Been there. There is no rush to plan! Tell people you're just enjoying being engaged and being together. With covid everything is so uncertain. Take the time to enjoy being together! That's what is most important anyways.
    • Reply
  • Niki
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Niki ·
    • Dispute

    My first move for wedding planning would definitely look into venues and ceremony spaces as that will set the foundation to build on. Settle on your date and go from there. We moved from top priority to smaller things. Venue/ceremony space>asking bridal party>photography>decor> videographer if any>dj>wedding dress

    Once the top things are out of the way (usually to be done a year in advance) the smaller things will follow - bridal party outfits>grooms suit>accessories>cake tastings>wedding theme and details>invitations signage etc

    There are a lot of helpful *wedding timelines* on pinterest that give you a breakdown on what needs to be done by certain times - of course its different for everyone but it will give you an idea!

    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
    • Dispute
    Honestly the less you tell people the less opinions they will have the opportunity to express. And also, the things you do share if you have them already set in stone they can’t try to sway it so much. People tend to really want to plan your wedding ideas for you 🤣 it’s super annoying
    Hang in there! You’ll be a pro before you know it
    Congratulations!!
    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured January 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    Congratulations. Definitely the first step for us was figuring out our budget and a guest list (not that it doesn't or hasn't changed) so you have some direction. Then pinterest your heart out. Make your list of must haves each and look at venues that check all or most of those boxes. If you want to tackle any DIY make sure you plan time for them. (Also make sure any DYI will be worth your time and effort). Once you know what you get with the venue start to fill in everything else. It you take it one step at a time it should help settle your nerves. Good luck I hope you have more fun than stress with planning.
    • Reply
  • Katrina
    Newbie October 2022 Ontario
    Katrina ·
    • Dispute

    Congratulations!!! We got engaged in March too!!! I love planning stuff but a wedding is a whole different ball game. The week after our engagement, I started feeling overwhelmed as it is such a big day to plan.

    We sat down together and decided due to COVID-19, weddings from last year are being postponed to this year and next year. We decided to start looking for venues right away! We are planning on getting married in October 2022.

    Wedding wire has been such a great tool in regards of contacting venues. I would take advantage of that! As for the rest of wedding planning, we decided we can tackle those after we find a venue. I found during my research, you also learn here and there. It becomes less stressful and soooooo exciting! Smiley smile

    Hope this helps!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    I absolutely love planning stuff but the wedding overwhelmed me a bit until I found out venue. My advice would be to find a venue that has a “full package” offering (food, bar, gratuities, tables, chairs, plates, sound system, staff) and day-of planning assistance.


    We went with Cellar 52 in St Jacobs Ontario and they’ve been amazing!
    Younger newer venue owners are eager to make sure you have a great experience at a fair price.
    Also, take advantage of the help of your family and bridesmaids by delegating tasks that overwhelm you! They would love to help! Especially now when physical get-together are not possible. It’s a great way to bond and feel connected.
    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    Take some time to enjoy being engaged!


    I'd start by sitting down with your new fiance and figuring out what each of you wants most, what you don't want, roughly how much you can afford to spend, and how many people you want to have there. Then if there's a specific piece of your wedding dream that excites you most, maybe start there. If you know you want to dance all night look at DJs, if food is important start researching local catering companies or food trucks, if you dream of dresses that's a great place to start! It should be fun and exciting, even when it can get stressful the stress shouldn't outweigh the excitement.
    • Reply
  • Stacey TC
    Featured August 2022 Saskatchewan
    Stacey TC ·
    • Dispute

    Congrats!

    It can definitely be overwhelming. S.O and I have been together for almost 8 years living together for 5 and are currently in our mid and late 30s. All of our friends eventually stopped asking when the wedding was because I'd just brush them off HA!
    We finally decided just before the pandemic to get married "officially" and asked our wedding party but hadn't picked a date. Feb 2020 we started contacting venues and then lockdown!
    I've been doing all this preliminary planning myself and haven't even thought of details because we went from Aug 2020 to Aug 2021 and now May 2022.

    We have venue and photography booked and hoping fall will be full steam ahead. I love planning events!

    Start with venues and sit down with your fiance to determine what you're looking for. We picked a community hall because we wanted to customize a lot of things. I have two friends that picked event centres because they wanted someone else to do all the work and wanted catering and decor taken care of.

    My go to response for co-workers (new job due to covid laid off) has been we're waiting to see what's happening with vaccines and restrictions.

    I know it's annoying and overwhelming but if you keep giving people the same answer they should get the hint and back off. Breathe and try to enjoy.

    • Reply
  • Abigail
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Abigail ·
    • Dispute
    Don’t stress too hard already!! Sit down with you fiance and talk about when you want to get married and go from there! We got engaged last May and were not getting married until NEXT may so we didn’t start planning until this January. I gave myself a little bit of ideas here and there last year but no major decisions. As for people asking, honestly tune them out or give vague answers if you don’t want to talk about it haha.
    Also, my friend is also getting married last year so we discussed it together over drinks and have fun with it!!!
    • Reply
  • MaddieJ
    Curious July 2021 Ontario
    MaddieJ ·
    • Dispute

    Hire a planner?

    • Reply
  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
    • Dispute
    My best advice is to sit down with your Fiancé and figure out the top 3 most important things for each of you. Then you will know what needs be prioritized. Next I would look for inspiration on Pintrest. Then determine a budget and a rough guest list. You wanna know approximately how many people so you make sure you are looking at venues that will fit everyone
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Devoted December 2022 Yucatán
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    At first I was like that. Not sure what to do and the thought of planning terrified me, until I started doing more research. The checklist on here is very helpful in the sense of what major things you need to do in a timely matter. But! there are a lot of things I have checked out from Pinterest and whatnot where I realized that the Wedding Wire does not mention in the checklist. For example, here is a list of things that are not really mentioned in the check list:

    - Guest Book

    - Welcome Sign

    -Seating Chart

    -Table Numbers

    -Cake Topper and setting

    to name a few.

    When you have a time on the weekend or during the evenings, take a few hours and check out the wedding articles on here. Pinterest has a lot of inspiration on photos and when I checked out the photos there was things in them that I realized I needed to include in my wedding planning/needs that is not on the Wedding wire.

    Wedding TikTok has also helped me a bunch!

    Congrats on your engagement! and it will get better with time!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics