Over seas bridesmaids

View quoted message I’m glad to help! Happy new year!

View quoted message That’s what I did for my girls. I’ve also accepted that they won’t be there for all the pre-wedding events or to planning. My MOH is in my town but in school so I understand that she’s busy with that.

Happy New Year to you too!

View quoted message Thanks Tori!

Happy New Year!

View quoted message Hi Bianca,

i love that you looked at this situation from there perspective! Your right I have been friends with these girls my whole life! If they didn’t ask me I would be offended as well.

I think im going to ask them and just be ok with the fact that they might only be at the wedding.

Haopy New Year!

View quoted message Thanks Lucy!

I agree! These girls have been in my life since as long as I can remember. I think I would regret if I didn’t have them there.

Happy new year!

View quoted message Thanks Tori!

Happy new year!

View quoted message Thanks Casey!

All very valid points. I think I just need to accept they won’t be here for everything however they will be here for the big day and that’s what matters most.

Happy new year!

View quoted message Thanks Allison for your advise!


I think I’ve decided I am going to ask them and they can decide from there. I still have three other girls that will be here to help with anything I might need.

Happy New year!

View quoted message Thanks Jennifer!

Yes I have three other girls who are in the same town I live in so they will be here to help me with things I need. I think I am still going to ask them... I just need to know they won’t be there for everything and I’m going to make sure they understand the commitment and costs involved.

Thanks for your advice!

Happy New Year 🙂

I was an overseas bridesmaid. and the only thing I made it to is the wedding (didn't even have my bridesmaid dress till either 1 week before the wedding or the night before). I've also been a bridesmaid out of country (me in Canada, her in the USA).

If you want them. have them. be prepared that they may so no. I would also have a local friend too. even just 1. because its just nice to have someone in the same city as you.

and be prepared to do things on your own or with other friends and family. and honestly that's ok too. I was really fortunate for when I was overseas that the bride and bridesmaids were so chill about things.

Most of our wedding party is in Southern Ontario while we live in Northern Ontario - not as far as overseas but it's tough to get together for before the wedding stuff.

I would talk to your friends about the situation - some may feel that they can't commit to and of the planning, where as some others will try to help out. Depending on how much you want your bridesmaids involved in planning, I would either make the abroad friends bridesmaids or just invite them as guests and maybe ask if they want to do a reading during the ceremony.

So my sister is my MoH and lives in Australia. I would not have thought twice about that decision. We talk almost daily so she knows everything that is going on and helps as she can.
Our venue does all the decorations etc so I don’t have to worry about her not helping with decorating.
But she is flying in a week before the wedding. We will have my bachelorette the week before(Friday). And then bridal shower a couple days after(sunday) so she can be included in those!
If you really want them in your wedding party I say do it! And I am sure they can help with whatever they are able to. Or Atleast be someone that will listen and help you make those difficult decisions

Just want to take a moment to say congrats on the engagement and welcome to the WW community!

As for the dilemma... If I were in you shoes I would maybe ask them to be honourary bridesmaids that they could wear all the same colour outfits and that way you can still take group like pictures with them and your bridesmaids and give them some sort of place in the wedding - but I wouldn't be giving them the full status as they wouldn't be able to be there for you like you need.

My bridal party are both in Australia but I never considered not including them. They’ve been my best friends since we were in grade 4.

They don’t have to be here in person to help out. I send them links to things I like to get their opinions. Even if you ask your local friends, there’s no guarantee they would be willing or able to do everything you want them to.

If you decide not to ask them, you could instead ask them to do a reading or perform if they are musically inclined. I would stay away from making them “honorary bridesmaids”. To me that’s like giving a kid a participation trophy because everyone gets something. Give them a real role and just accept they won’t be available for everything or leave them out of the planning and invite them just as guests.

I’ve been a co-MOH with someone who lived in the UK, and it worked pretty well. We worked together with the help of another NA based bridesmaid, emailed, and Skyped when needed.

I say ask her and let her decide.

Hey Danielle! So I don’t have any experience in this but I’m trying to look at this from your friend’s perspective and I would be happy if a good friend asked me to be a bridesmaid even if I couldn’t be there for the pre-wedding shenanigans. I think it’s really the thought that counts.