Skip to main content
Veronica
Super October 2021 Alberta

Our Covid-19 Choice

Veronica, on June 20, 2020 at 17:10 Posted in Alberta 0 16
Saved
Reply

Hello WW,

Well here is my post regarding Covid and our October wedding! While we have not officially postponed yet, (we always said we will wait until July and we are going to) I just am not seeing things turning around in the next few weeks to give us the confidence to go ahead.

When Stage 2 was announced in AB, we felt like its as a hopeful sign. The number of people went up and wedding ceremonies/receptions were back on! However, this week our venue sent us an email outlining what a pandemic wedding would like this October if restrictions remained in place and it was awful:

- No sitting at the ceremony to encourage social distancing

- No bar service

- No dancing

- No singing (my dad was going to sing for us instead of a speech)

- No buttered cocktail hour or self serve late night snack

- 6 people max to a table

The list goes on - we were so focused on the # of people that could gather, we just did not think much about all the other restrictions in place. Seeing it all written out for us, CRUSHED me to be honest. I felt utterly defeated and hopeless in having our wedding this year - how on earth are ALL those restrictions going to be lifted in the next 3.5 months. I just can't see it happening, not when the world in general is still seeing massive case numbers and the virus is still circulating etc. So unless a miracle happens in the next couple of weeks, I think we will be postponing to 2021.

Thankfully my fiancé is a rockstar. Yesterday he spent hours calming me down and helping me see how postponing (while sad) is not the end of the world, and that we are in no rush to be married - wouldn't it be better to wait to have the dream wedding we want? And then as well, we discussed being able to switch our focus on things we were waiting till after the wedding for (such as buying a house this year!) and taking some online courses I want to switch careers etc.

In addition to all that, I realized how much this is tainting my pre wedding experience. I do not feel joy, I do not feel excitement, countdowns terrify me, I don't even want to talk about the wedding to anyone because it makes my stomach turn etc. Like how awful is that? Of course there is always pre wedding stress but at least its stress with an underlying feeling of excitement knowing your big day is coming up! Right now its just stress as to what will happen in the next three months, and will our grandparents be at risk, and will people have to wear masks, and what if we go into a lockdown just before again etc etc etc.

I apologize if this post seems hopeless, I just had to get it all of my chest. The last three months have been such a roller coaster of emotion from denial, disbelief, anger, frustration, depression, and sadness. Up until yesterday evening, I felt like things were so out of our control and it felt crushing to be forced into postponing. What an awful feeling!

But to end on a positive note, I think I am able to change the narrative to we CHOSE to postpone so that we could have the wedding we have dreamt of, and now we are just getting the chance to focus on some other things, re shift our priorities etc.

Plus FH and I came up with some bonuses to postponing, such as he finally agreed to take professional ballroom lessons for our first dance! And my bridesmaids have said they would be relieved with postponing so they could plan a more epic bachelorette for me (all three of them lost work due to COVID) so that helps knowing they would be less financially stressed. AND we could also get to hopefully have our honeymoon after our wedding like we wanted to (where as this year, good luck travelling) etc.

If you made it through all of that, thank you! Thank you to Wedding Wire Community during this crazy time. We are all in this together brides and grooms Smiley smile

tenor.gif



16 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on June 25, 2020 at 19:06
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Hey Chelsea, thank you! All the best of luck this fall for your reception!

    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
    • Dispute
    We postponed our reception from 06/06/2020 to 10/10/2020 but got married in a small ceremony on our original date! We’re also in Calgary and we’ve decided that no matter what, we’re having some sort of reception in October! I’m holding out hope that we get an incredible celebration regardless of numbers, because we’ve decided that since we’re already married, if October doesn’t happen, we’re just going to cancel rather than postpone again. I love hearing all of the silver linings you’ve found about postponing! Itll be so worth the wait!
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Ah yes it sounds like we really did have the same experience - I also did a pro and con list haha. I don't think we will regret waiting at all, even if we have our up and down sad moments.

    A longer honeymoon sounds AMAZING! All the best for the next year and a bit of planning Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
    • Dispute
    THIS 🙌 you just wrote out my ENTIRE experience and thought process for our October wedding. For us stressing about the numbers was one thing but as the world began opening up we realized how truly awful our wedding would be this year with all of the guidelines that are sure to remain in place even if numbers go up enough to make us happy. I too had zero excitement and it didn’t feel like we were about to get married at all. I went through a lot of emotions and sadness but once the decision was made (we ultimately made a pro and con list together that showed us that for us postponing was the much more appealing option) I have felt relieved and excited about our wedding next year. I’m sure I will still have ups and downs about waiting the extra year but it was what would the option that would make us happiest at the end of the (wedding) day. As much as, of course, we wish things had gone as planned this year, are many positives we have been focusing on like indulging in a longer honeymoon which hopefully will be fine by then, etc. I’m glad to hear you’ve found a way to remain positive and I’m sure you will have a perfect day next year ☺️
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    I totally agree there is no guarantee of what the future will hold, I feel like being attached to a set outcome has been shattered for me now.

    Thank you for the positive vibes! I wish you all the best on your day this year.

    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Awe Sarah, that was a lovely message thank you! Yes ultimately the pandemic wedding just sounds like a major concession, and we are in no rush to be married so may as well postpone.

    We are actually getting really excited on the idea of buying a house sooner now, it could end up being a blessing in disguise!

    Love hearing that you got to add to your wishlist and make all those extras happen! THAT is the best postponement story to hear. You will love all the additional things.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    We postponed after going back and fourth and that was before I heard the no dancing rule.That would have been a huge deal breaker for me.A socially distanced wedding where you still have to pay for the full service is stressful.Personally I would postpone and take the classes and save for that house and come next year you will be even further ahead and ready to start your lives together as husband and wife.Because we postponed our budget grew and I was able to get everything I wanted for next year.The officiant we dreamed of but couldn’t afford this year, head table decor that was my #1 on my wish list since we began planning 2 years ago,photo booth suddenly became and option (my fave still talking about part of my brother’s wedding in 2012) and a videographer to capture the moments.Postponing doesn’t have to be a bad thing and your guests will definitely breathe a sigh of relief I know all of ours did.Whatever you choose to do I wish you both a life time of happiness and the best day ever!!
    • Reply
  • Jenna
    Curious September 2020 New Brunswick
    Jenna ·
    • Dispute

    I feel every inch of this. Our wedding is in September in New Brunswick. Although our Province is thriving it can be difficult to remain optimistic through such an unpredictable time. We had originally discussed postponing but have decided to move forward with our original plan, now downsizing the guest list and following social distancing restrictions. There is no gurantee what the next few months or even year will bring, it sounds like you have an amazing support system and you're focusing on the positive! My thoughts are with you, sending all of the positive vibes. xx

    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Thanks Vinod - appreciate the encouraging message. Going to focus on positive things and start looking forward to next year.

    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Thanks Amelia - trying to be positive about it is a bit tough, sometimes I just want to cry and mope around but it's also nice to focus on the positive things as that general makes me feel better.

    Having our dream day postponed is a much better outcome then a compromised pandemic wedding for sure.

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    The times are tough to deal with wedding planning and venues going with the distancing concept and lowering its capacity holding of guest lists for couples. Always the good things to look forward to see over the bad side of things.

    We all are in a way not having to have things happen the way its meant to be as occasions are limited to go out for dinner with family or having gatherings over a limited number. Your day is special and will be as long as you know that your FH is being calm and cool about it all to ensure you enjoy it all and your bridesmaid are happy too that your pre wedding events will take place beforehand.

    I know your having mixed feeling about everything right now with great news of getting a house now and other things as well to feel good inside about. These are things you can turn about feelings to be more positive.

    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    As much as it sucks, you're absolutely right that postponing gives you the chance to still have the wedding you dreamed of!


    I love all of the positives you've found in a crummy situation. I think most of us have found a way to find at least a little silver lining in this mess of a year. You are so strong to see that silver lining.
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Hey Kelsie,

    Thanks so much - we were hoping the same! Back in March, I honestly did not think our October wedding was in jeopardy. However it just feels like while we might be opening up the economy, social distancing is here to stay for the time being. This virus seems relentless! I just can't imagine having a pandemic wedding, I know we would regret it as the other restrictions lose its touch. And even worse - what if Covid made an appearance at our wedding?

    I like your advice to stay positive and I feel for you! Once we make the decision, sort out the new contracts and send out our change the dates - I don't want to even re visit wedding planning until 2021 either.

    • Reply
  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    • Dispute
    Hey Veronica! I’m so sorry it looks like you’re going the way of postponing! I was hoping there’d be more progress for your fall wedding.


    I 100% understand where you’re coming from. It’s so hard to be excited about postponing when you’ve planned this amazing day that now ....won’t happen or at least won’t happen as it should.
    I think during these times we have to grasp at what’s positive - we have our partners, our health and moving the wedding date to get the wedding you want probably won’t matter in the long run but the sting hurts right now!
    I don’t have much advice as I, like you, don’t like talking or thinking about the wedding. I’ve sent out the postponement cards and I honestly don’t want to think about anything until 2021. I hope time heals the wound Smiley smile
    Sending you virtual hugs and positive vibes during this time.
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Awe thanks so much Kelcie! It is great to have this community turn to.

    Yes - no dancing or mingling with drinks at a wedding just sounds terrible for the evening we wanted. My partner is such a super star. Still lots of things to be happy about and thankful for in this year.

    I think it helps knowing that there is an entire country wide of us (and world wide I guess) going through this, and we can all offer each other support.

    • Reply
  • K
    Devoted August 2021 Nova Scotia
    Kl ·
    • Dispute
    Ugh I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! But honestly.. no dancing? No food beyond dinner? No BAR?! Those would be some crazy concessions. Definitely better to wait it out until next year so you can have the day you’ve dreamed of and the wedding you deserve 💕 As much as it absolutely sucks to be in this position.



    Love that you’re seeing the silver lining in this heartbreaking situation though! It sounds like you’ve still got a lot of really exciting things on the horizon this year. It’s also clear from your post that you’re marrying an amazing and wonderfully supportive person which is obviously what matters most. I hope your venue and vendors are helpful too.
    Anyway I just wanted to extend a word of support! Let yourself feel all the feels and mourn as vocally as you need to. We’re here for you! ❤️
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
ReCaptcha Verification failed. Please try again.

Related articles

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics