Open bar, toonie bar, donation bar?

Donation bars are always problematic - many people don't donate, others don't know how much to donate and so either don't or under-donate. I have never heard of a wedding where this worked out.

A toonie bar is a great option - it defrays some of the costs and even paying 2$ a drink, people won't be careless (leaving it sitting around and then just going to get a new one when they forget where they put it).

Honestly girl, if you're on a budget and don't want your friends to go overboard (as most people do when there is free booze) I would just have a toonie bar OR you could give each guest 1 or 2 free drinks and then the rest they can pay $2 or full price. that's what my FH and I are doing because we are on a budget and his friends really like to drink..

guests wont care if they have to pay for their alcohol if you cover the first one or two.

and there's absolutely nothing wrong with a donation jar!

Oh my lanta, I KNOW! I was on wedding bee before coming over here and was ripped apart when mentioned having a cash bar. Yikes.

Agreed. There is definitely a balance to keep, and to spend within my means. I'm amazed by the difference of opinions and harsh comments on the American weddingwire website in comparison to here in Canada. I appreciate the kind responses from everyone here

Same! Just remember that this wedding is about you two and making yourselves happy. Yes, obviously you want guests to feel welcomed and happy throughout the evening too but you don't want to have debt after the wedding because of alcohol. Alcohol isn't needed to have a good time. I have to keep reminding myself this. We are trying to save money where we can.

Ya I know, these details kind of drive me nuts. Before I was engaged I thought it would be easy, then hearing and reading everyone's opinions, and understanding some of the logistical challenges makes me second guess myself.

Like you mentioned there are lots of different options, and ways to bring down costs. It's just picking one haha. I want to create a welcoming and fun environment for our guests with a somewhat reasonable price tag... we'll see

$11,000?!?!?! Holy poop that's a lot of money! We are debating this as well but I think we are leaning on having drinks on us during the cocktail hour and then having signature drinks the whole night that we cover as well and maybe beer and wine. Hard liquor they would have to pay for. Or we might just cover cocktail hour and nothing else.. we aren't sure yet. I hate planning all of these small details.

We are having a consumption bar. There is wine on the tables and many of our guests don't drink much anyway. There's nothing wrong with giving every adult guest a couple of tickets for free drinks and when they're gone, they have to pay for their own. My daughter did this but the only problem was the tickets were left on the table and some people stole them from others! Can you believe that?

That's a good point, thanks!

I did go to a wedding that was open bar (before planning my own) and they had tip jars out (the bartenders) and so everyone was tipping them large amts to cover their drink costs - but then after doing some research once starting to plan mine - although we were tipping - the bride & groom (or whoever was paying) still had to pay tax & gratuity -- so the bartenders got tipped twice! I'm always cautious of that now - so if you do have jars out - make sure to write something on them indicating they're for you or something and that the bartenders keep the jars out!

That's totally understandable. I agree, not sure exactly what we're going to do - open bar for the evening would be ~$11,000 including tax and tip (ugh $10 drinks). However even with the donation pot, I'm not expecting a ton - but hopefully it will just make people aware of their drinks so they don't forget them and become wasteful. Who knows...Whatever our decision I'll have some wording on the website concerning it, as I want people to know beforehand what to expect.

No idea - we are definitely covering the costs for cocktail hour - but fiance doesn't want to put out that much money for open bar for the reception portion - which I totally understand as that's an additional $5200 for us +tax & gratuity!!
We were considering a consumption bar - we give the bar a $ amt and then after that has been reached people are responsible for their own - but I feel that might be weird half way through the night - sorry you have to pay for your own now. So we really have no idea what we are going to do!!

Do you know which you're leaning towards?

We are also debating all of these options~!!

Hi Leslie,

Thanks for your comment! To be more clear, the donation jar would say something like "honeymoon/newlywed fund" so it would go to us (ugh that sounds bad haha). I've been to a toonie bar that was "honour system" so people just put in 10-20 bucks and called it a day. I've also had a friend who had a "honeymoon fund" jar, it didn't confuse or bother me. But then again, it seems people have very intense opinions concerning open/cash bars...

I think a toonie bar is easier to deal with than a donation bar because it's vague. I would just put exactly what you put on here under reception news. Is the donation going to your or to a charity? You can still have the toonie bar money go to a charity of your choice.