Non-religious Ceremony

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View quoted message That is exactly right! God is all around us. He doesn’t only exist within the walls of a church. ❤️🙂

View quoted message Thank you. Im glad you've made the right choice for yourself. I feel my relationship with god extends outside the church so either way he will be with me on my day.

I’m also Catholic and originally planned to be married at my reception location. But after a lot of thought (and prayers) I realized I wanted to be married in a Catholic Church with my fiancé. We’ve booked our date at the church and now have a new ceremony location.

The premarital courses are costly but I think it will be worth it. I think they will lay a foundation for my FH and I as we embark into marriage. I took months to think about it and luckily I had enough time to change my mind about it.
i think only you can answer your question. If it’s going to bother you, follow your heart and get married in the church. But don’t do it for your priest.

View quoted message Yeah Im so excited for her to be part of my day.

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That's really lovely how she's going to do that. It really adds a nice personal touch to the day

View quoted message Yeah i talked to her the other day and asked her to lead a prayer before our ceremony and she was so excited. I really love my mom.

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That's great that your mom is on board with you doing things a little different! I'm sure it will be lovely

View quoted message Absolutely! Im super close with my mom so her opinion is one of the most important to me.

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That must be SOOO helpful that your mom feels that way. such a relief!

View quoted message Yeah the officiant Ive been speaking with has put together a beautiful ceremony that made me tear up. So I'm feeling much better about it.

Your priest shouldn't be judging you at all as he took the oath to be what he wanted.

You are doing what feels right and to avoid any process of whats need doing by them by force. I wouldn't stand for it and say No Thank You. Religion is how you see it and not through anyone else.

Keep it simple and keep the officiant as planned rather driving all over the city.

I am currently going through the RCIA program and will soon do the wedding prep classes! I HAVE learned recently that if you are officiated outside of the church, later in life (maybe like a 10 year anniversary) you can do a celebration in the church then and have your marriage confirmed by the priest then! Just an idea of you dont want to do in the church now its something you can do at a later time! I dont know the full rules of it yet but I believe the sacrament of marriage isnt recognized unless it's done within the church?

My FH and I just finished our classes. It cost us 150 for the weekend. But it can be done over 7 weeknights too. Honestly I, and my FH (who is not at all Catholic or religious), benefitted from the course. At the end, we were presented at Mass and it was nice. Now yes you pay for the course, but the actual ceremony along with the priest are free, but if the couple can afford it, a donation is welcome. There was no money grabbing. There is a balance really because an officiant and even rental of ceremony space would probably work out to be the same or even more money. There were 3 couples who led the classes. The money provided our meals for the weekend, a wedding candle and literature. We were apprehensive about the course and yes it was a time commitment and it was a long day but it opened up discussions between my FH that we would not have had.

View quoted message Yeah unfortunately he really is judgemental. Its just rediculous that churches have to make marriage so difficult.

View quoted message Yeah its actually not through the priest its a set price. I totally understand the idea though. Im very lucky because the only really religious one in either family is my mom and she feels our religion extends outside of the church so either way God will be on my wedding day.

View quoted message That is a really good point. And a really good idea! I hadnt thought to try a non denominational church.

I would hope you would not have to worry about your priest being judgemental about it, but I understand your apprehension! Both my fiance and I are Catholic but after many discussions on the matter we're now looking to also get married at our venue and not at either of our churches, mostly because of timeline and our current connection to our local church and the associated costs (we would have wanted a distant relative, priest, to conduct the ceremony, but he lives across the province which also added complexity plus the classes, availability, etc.).

Are you required to do the classes with the priest that would marry you? because if that is the case. I would see if there is another priest that doesn't charge so much or requires a donation (a lot of priests around here have a suggested donation).

oohhhhhh the catholic guilt. haha. do not feel guilt on it. at the end of the day. it is still you and your FH saying your vows/getting married in front of your nearest and dearest. and that is what matters more than the location.

if you are both comfortable with the officiant. that is the super important part. (and that they legally can marry you).

my FMIL was trying to push us getting married in a church. shes Presbyterian. and my FH grew up that way. I grew up with a mix of catholic and protestant. Neither my FH or I wanted a church ceremony. The only way I would have done it (and i didn't really need or want to), is if it was in a catholic church. and that would have made FMIL so mad (she won't even come to mass with me on Christmas eve at a catholic chuch). so we said screw it. no church wedding. she keeps dropping hints and I just ignore her.

View quoted message Good idea! Its never to early to get ahead of things.

View quoted message Why do you care what the priest thinks? Honestly he sounds like a terrible man and if I were in your shoes I would not only not be getting married there but I would be looking to join a different church.

If you really want a religious ceremony you could always look for a non-denominational church in your area. Or look for an officiant who also does religious ceremony’s.

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Totally agree! But my FH's would not be happy if we didn't.

We were told to apply a year before. So we will apply in June/July...maybe a bit earlier just in case.

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I agree with Emma... I apologize for saying this, but I don't mean offense: but my family and I no longer attend church because of things exactly like this... they are forcing you to take classes, but are charging an excessive amount for them? If it's a requirement of the church that you already give money to, it should be free. God is about spirit and faith, not making a buck... Do NOT feel guilty because you can't pay for marriage classes. If your priest is dead set on making you do it, you should be provided them at no charge. It's not that you're unwilling, it's more so unable. Good luck! I hope it works out for you

View quoted message Oh yeah I forgot about asking permission as well. Which takes way too long. Ugh. Im just kind of over it. The church shouldnt make it so difficult.

View quoted message Yeah. The problem is my priest is super judgemental and misogynistic so I doubt the convo will go well.

Tell me about it! I am marrying a Catholic and I am not Catholic.

we have to ask permission from the Archdiocese to get married. Which of course, we have to pay the church to do in addition to marriage courses.

Definitely speak to your priest. See if they can help.

I agree with Emma; maybe a little conversation with your priest could help. There's no harm in asking! The worst he can do is say no-can-do and you are back at having an officiant - only thing being that now he would know and it wouldn't be so much as asking for forgiveness seeing as how he would be aware.

View quoted message Yeah my mom is going to lead a prayer and then the officiant is going to reference some bibal verses. So God will still be at my wedding.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. I knew that there were classes involved, but I had no idea that the church charges you for them! Maybe it’s for the best that you’re just using an officiant tbh.

View quoted message Yeah. You're right. Thank you.

Talk to your priest and tell him if he has a problem with it then they should offer the classes for free. In reality they are the ones preventing you from getting married in the church. So don’t feel guilty about it one bit.