Non- Rehearsal Dinner

View quoted message I agree with what you stated. That’s a good way to go about it so guests aren’t confused

Suggestion to say Welcome Dinner over Rehearsal since your not having speeches or anything of the tradition. Just to follow through the daytime schedule for the wedding party.

Part of the welcome package handed out to our guests was a portion of Welcome Dinner with directions to and from the restaurant.

This same concept can be taken and have saying please note guest meals are not paid for the evening. Please come prepared. Daytime schedule will be mentioned for the following day.

View quoted message

I agree. That's why I think offering expressly appies, or evening cocktails etc... then if they want to order a meal they know that is on them. And that would help cut costs for sure.

But if it's a mandatory function and you are not paying for dinner, then I don't think it should be a "dinner".

We did something similar for our engagement party. we chose to provide a few appetizers for everyone, but anything else they ordered was their own responsibility. you could always say something about how you will be providing a round of drinks, or whatever, if that’s what you chose to do

If it's kinda mandatory in the sense you will be going over timing expectations and etc..

then I don't think you should make them pay. I get it's tough... but there are alternative options.

Instead of a dinner, do appies... or evening cocktails etc.

Or have a barbeque somewhere, or do slow cookers in the suite.

If you want to do the dinner thing... maybe plan to meet somewhere first to do all the formality discussions. (As it may be hard to have those conversations in a busy restaurant anyways)

And then throw out the invite... if you would like to join us for dinner afterwards we will be making reservations at such and such place.

Then it's their option to join, and I would assume that means I am paying. Or like Tori said throw out the "at your own expense" type deal with that invite.

So for instance :

"We will be meeting at (time) at (location) to discuss the events and timing for the wedding.

Afterwards we will be making reservations at (restaurant) for dinner. For any of you wishing to join us, we would love to have you there, but it will be at your own expense." Or "we cannot cover the meals" etc...

Hmmm, the only way I can really think of would be to just lay it out plain and simple at the end of the email "Please note that meals are not being provided so don't feel the need to order anything if you do not wish to" or a simple "due to a tight budget we are unable to pay for everybody's meals - I understand if you can't make it"

At the end of the day if they are to pay for it themselves they either need to know they don't have to come, or they don't have to order anything if they do. (IMO)