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Newbie June 2020 Alberta

No Formal Dinner Situation

Melissa, on September 13, 2019 at 04:54 Posted in Wedding reception 0 10

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Hi Everyone. I may be asking for trouble as I've seen other forum posts where people went crazy about this topic. I'll be as thorough but as to the point as possible.

We will be having an outdoor wedding, with camping spots available for guests to use. There will be no formal dinner provided, we will provide a dessert reception/dance, and a late night snack. Guests are welcome to arrange a restaurant dinner before they come, or for guests who are camping/milling about on the grounds already for the weekend will likely BBQ or cook their own food at their trailers. This will be made quite clear on the invites that no formal dinner is provided. It's a more casual event. We have discussed asking someone we know who runs a BBQ food truck if they want to set up at the grounds for anyone who doesnt want to cook or is not necessarily camping but wants to hang with other family or friends at the grounds pre-dessert reception/dance. The food truck would be available for purchases, we would not provide this (again, no formal dinner). I never really thought twice about this until I saw so many people freaking out about "making guests pay for their meals". As we are not providing any dinner, in my opinion, a restaurant is paying for their own meal, and so is cooking their own food. A food truck is no different. If the expectation is made clear, is it "taboo"? Basically, the no formal dinner expectations would be clearly laid out and the invitation would include details such as "No formal dinner will be served. Guests camping are welcome to cook dinner at their sites, or we encourage you to try one of several local restaurants before the reception. "Title of Food Truck" will also be available on the grounds pre-reception for purchase. Please make your dinner arrangements accordingly".

What are opinions on this?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 23, 2019 at 16:18

VIP August 2020 Ontario
Ashley · On September 23, 2019 at 16:18
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As long as its on the invitations then its fine!!
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Master August 2019 Ontario
Bianca · On September 15, 2019 at 05:02
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This is right on the nose!
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Master July 2021 Ontario
Kelsie · On September 13, 2019 at 16:13
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I agree with Allison, you’ll have to make it clear that there is no meal being served and people can purchase food there.

However, with that being said - every wedding I’ve been to, a meal has been provided. Typically when people give a gift, the meal is taken into consideration. So, definitely expect to receive a lesser monetary gift from people.
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On September 13, 2019 at 13:54
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If I was invited to this particular type of wedding, and it was clearly stated that I was on my own for food, I wouldn't have a problem with it - so long as it was stated on the invitation/website. It would affect the gift I give though, I wouldn't give as much since I have to pay for my meal also.
However, people like my mom (more traditional), would see this as a major etiquette breach and ultimately not go. Some people cling to wedding traditions and etiquette like no tomorrow so keep in mind that you'll have some guests upset about this, no matter how clearly spelled out it is.
I'd also consider having the ceremony around 7 pm - so guests might take the time of day as a cue that there isn't a formal dinner. I'd still indicate clearly in the invitations that there is no formal dinner, but having a later ceremony might help avoid the etiquette uproar.
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Expert June 2021 Saskatchewan
Alix · On September 13, 2019 at 12:19
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One of my bridesmaids went to a wedding where they had a food truck. She said people liked it. My fiance and I thought about for our wedding too. I don't see any problem with it. It's your wedding and your decision. You are still providing snacks for all of your guests. We are also having an outdoor wedding. We just decided to go with a simple BBQ.
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Casey · On September 13, 2019 at 10:15
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I also agree with Meaghan. It is like having people over to your house around dinner time and not feeding them. You will need to state it super clear that you are not providing a meal, and people will have to pay for their meal. It will for sure affect the gifts that come in because people will have to pay for their own food.
At the end of the day, it is your day, and if people don't like it, or don't agree with it they will either tell you or not come. But the people that are close to you will be there!
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Master June 2022 Ontario
Rayanne · On September 13, 2019 at 09:31
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I think as long as you clearly state there is no formal dinner and your wedding is not during a meal time you should be fine. There will be some that may not show up but as long as those closest to you do, does it really matter?
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Top October 2019 Manitoba
Tori · On September 13, 2019 at 09:15
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I mean... I agree with Meaghan - it's a wedding, but I also think as long as you let them know ahead of time and state that you are not wanting any presentation - then it's fine. As a guest if this was what we were told I would still give a little something but probably only $50 because I have to spend the other $50 on food.
So... it should be okay for some guests, others WILL NOT be okay with it because it isn't the norm - but it's your wedding and if they don't like it then they don't have to come.
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Expert September 2019 Ontario
Meaghan · On September 13, 2019 at 08:29
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You've asked for feedback so I will provide my opinion.

Etiquette states that if you are hosting guests, you feed them. So, if guests are there during what is usually a meal time, etiquette requires an appropriate meal be provided. I try to follow etiquette rules as they are about making others feel welcome and comfortable.

If your guests are not expected to be there during a meal, then I think providing a dessert reception is fine.

I'm not sure what you mean by "taboo" but asking guests to pay for their meal does not align with etiquette practices.

I hope that is helpful.
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Super October 2019 Ontario
Katelyn · On September 13, 2019 at 07:47
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As long as you make sure your guests are fully aware I think this is fine. I think that the amount of info you have there is good and to the point. If anyone comes and doesn't get the picture it certainly wouldn't be your fault at that point. Everyone has different styles and not everyone provides food at a wedding. Wedding expectations have changed so drastically that now its whatever you want for your day. I say as long as it's clearly laid out ahead of time it's fine.
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