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Raphaela
Frequent user June 2018 Alberta

Need some opinions..

Raphaela, on September 23, 2017 at 04:27 Posted in Before the wedding 0 6
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So my FH best friend got married August. FH was supposed to be a groomsmen.(Side note they had a destination wedding in Mexico.) They called us maybe 7 month before thier wedding to say FH wasn't going to be a groomsmen anymore, their reason was cuz they didnt want me to sit alone and they thought I would be uncomfortable at their wedding. FH told his friend that wasn't fair and that cuz he was no longer in the bridal party we couldn't spend the money to go to the wedding. They did not talk all that time till last weekend. His best friend was supposed to be FH best man.. Not happening since his friend did that. The real reason was they were keeping the bridal party to just family. His friend had since apologized to him but FH said him and his wife have to apologize to me if they want to even attend our wedding. Now what I'm wondering is should I just leave it between them and say it's okay for them to attend the wedding and maybe encourage him to make best friend a groomsmen? To help mend the friendship? I'm so unsure... Help please!

6 Comments

Latest activity by Raphaela, on September 23, 2017 at 16:51
  • Raphaela
    Frequent user June 2018 Alberta
    Raphaela ·
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    He told me the final decision is up to me once they apologize.
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  • B
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
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    Weddings bring out odd things in ppl!! I like that your FH is sticking up for you and asking them to apologize to you too.. cuz you two are one in the same now. I think I understand your dilemma.. but why don't u simply ask ur FH what he wants?
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  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
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    Why didn't they tell FH that the reason he wasn't going to be a groomsman was because they were keeping it to family? like, that's just so weirdly uncommunicative. honesty is pretty important to friendship. i think your FH is saying they have to apologize to you as another stall because the truth is, that is a friendship that is broken. i'd give your FH the out and say you're still pissed, he'll go back and tell them that and they can say it was the reason their friendship is over rather than having it out about whose fault it is.

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  • Sasha
    Super October 2017 Ontario
    Sasha ·
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    I would allow them to come to the wedding but I wouldn't make him be part of the wedding party. But it's totallynyour decision, as long as it isn't uncomfortable for you guys to have them there. It's your day so you have to make sure you enjoy yourselves!
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  • Sonja
    VIP September 2017 Ontario
    Sonja ·
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    I think that you should let them come to the wedding, but not take the friend as a groomsman. This way you are trying to smooth over things but not reaching out just to be disappointed again. This incident says much about the friend's character.

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  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
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    Honestly that was a very unclassy move on their part!!! Those are decisions you make before you ask someone to be in your bridal party, not after the fact. Quite frankly. do think they owe you an apology! They put unnecessary strain on a friendship for one person not being in a bridal party? That's ridiculous! As far as mending the friendship goes, I don't think backing down is a way to mend the friendship. You guys can all have a conversation if need be but I don't think you should forget about it and sweep it under the rug. The only way I would is if my FH really really wanted this person there. At the end of the day it's about you 2. So if you do make a decision make it about what the both of you want.
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