Need help

Welcome to the club!! Having family your plan your wedding is horrible and I feel for you. You will need to decide on a few things you can't compromise on and sit your dad and FH down to let them know how you feel. Easier said then done I know but i'm crossing my fingers for you. I'm in an arguement with my family about who walks me down the aisle, who's invited, the date etc. My future aunt in law(who's helping to pay) wants me to pick august 19th so that a kid she sponsors in Laos can come but if I pick that date then one of my best friends can't come. I can't believe i'm even fighting for my friend over a kid I met once. I wish you all the best and I want to hear updates and i'll take any tips.

Hey Victoria, I'm happy you found great help in the community! That's what we're here for Keep us posted on how eveything goes with your search for a venue I know it can be hard to have family so involved into your wedding and it's hard to put our own limits especially when they are trying to help. I'm sure your origins are really important to you and your father. Maybe you just have different takes on it... Maybe you could try to see where you can balance some of what you want of these traditions and what he wants? Make him feel like it's important for you too, but that you had something different in mind. Let me know if this helps!

Here is the site! Hope it helps .
http://www.svccoakville.com/
We were thinking of having it there but in the end chose to do something closer to a hotel for family.

never hear of them will deff check them out thanks

Why don't you check out the SVCC in Oakville! It's a Ukrainian centre but they are on 25 acres of property and you can get married outside! And they have a church on Their property as well if you prefer that!!! Their room can hold a fair amount of people. They have a Ukrainian wedding menu but can do whatever you want. Might be a good middle point . Maybe they can fuse the menu you were thinking and your dad's (I'm assuming he's planned the menu as well ) just a thought. Check it out! Good luck!

So lucky me turns out the venues that he wanted were his friends venues that got sold, so I finally got through on no restaurant wedding how ever we are down to banquet halls. He took it upon himself to drive around all these places without me. At least I found a couple ones I am okay with that i sent him to so hopefully he likes one of them. Thank you all for your comments they gave me the encouragment to try and at least meet in the middle.

Well then you are going to have to really stand your ground and tell him it's not what you want. I get it. Portuguese weddings are the same. I guess being a bit older we are paying ourselves and parents have less involvement. Are Russian weddings really that bad? I'm just thinking on the flip side here, if you have no option on him giving in, if you were to go along with it, would you not have a say in a few things? This way you can get a bit of what you want instead of hating the whole process? Just thinking if you go against the grain with the whole process you'll regret that at some point.
I liked the idea of 2 receptions. With the money you make from one wedding you can have your reception, your way.
The other alternative, is to Elope or do a destination wedding. Then have a Russian reception at home?

Maybe both you and your fiance can sit down with him and talk about your vision for the wedding? You could say that you appreciate his help but this is the both of you starting your lives together so you want to make the decisions together. I think you need to be firm because this will definitely set the tone for the rest of your lives. Good luck! I hope you all can work it out!

Are you getting married where you live? You might be able to have two receptions, let him plan the second one.

I tried saying No I'll pay for it or I'll pay the diffirence. Hes traditional so he thinks he has to. To him its all about showing off all his Russian friends that I made it in their style. He litteraly just wants the deffention of a Russian Wedding.

Yes like my FH says NO money, no opinion. Sorry to hear you are going through that. You maybe his only daughter but you are also a woman getting married. You need to stand up for what you want ! This is your big day and it should be the greatest moment of your life. Alternatively you could pay for the wedding yourself and graciously decline your dad's offer. Hope you figure it all out. Lisa