My parents are still not happy about the ceremony decision . (fyi I'm catholic)

I feel you on this one (I’d probably be experiencing this with my family if I literally couldn’t marry in the church) it’s hard when parents have their ways of expressing faith that are different than yours.
I’d have a real heart-to-heart with your parents and ask what the root of their fear is (I’m assuming they want you to have a full catholic mass) and explain to them how it doesn’t affect your faith. I always said God doesn’t care where we are when my mom would get antsy about church, which worked sometimes. If they are truly threatening to not come, put it back on them saying that’s their decision. “You’re still invited but if it is something you cannot get past, that is your decision to make and live with because I’m not restricting you” was my line I used. It’s not too much to ask that they make a concession for one day. Plus, once they realize they can’t boss you around with ultimatums, they’ll reconsider.

I think that as it is your day i would do it the way you both originally wanted. You may regret not going with how you and your fh wanted it. As you are paying for this and its your day id do it your way.

I would do what i want to do especially if you guys are paying for your wedding. they have to understand its your guys day. your parents already had their wedding. traditions dont need to be the exact same anymore you can do your wedding your own way. you dont have to have the same cookie cutter wedding everyone else did!

Parents vs. Kids ways of views.

Your parents seem very strict and want what's best for their believes and your day. FH faith is also important as they don't see it his way, which they need to consider his part of the wedding too. You do want to keep your parents happy and did the right thing by seeing the priest to know what do keep their religious values. Keep your FH values too and they need to respect that decision without doubt.

I hope they see things from another side other than their thoughts. They should also attend since its your wedding and not theirs.

I think this sounds like a great way of incorporating your faith (and keeping your parents happy) while still having your dream day.


Hopefully they come around and realize that you're doing this for them, and that they have twice as much time to celebrate!

I think part of marrying is creating your own family with your own values. Sometimes those don't align with your parents.
I think boundaries are really important in a marriage and this might be a time to practice setting them with your parents. As a parent myself I can't imagine boycotting my child's wedding so I'm inclined to say they're bluffing, but I know that there are parents out there who might.
I think what it comes down to is, if all things one might to concede for a wedding, I personally don't think the religious element or vows should ever be. Those elements are at the heart of what the union is to a couple and if it isn't something you are wholeheartedly in support of, I think you need to draw a line. Good luck.

I think this is really a matter of how "into" the faith someone is. My in laws are very religious (my FH not so much). If we had opted not to do a church ceremony, I don't think my in laws wouldn't come but they'd express their displeasure in other ways.

I think you need to ask your parents why they are uncomfortable with it. They may just be really religious and want you to have a traditional ceremony. If that is the case, you need to sit down with your FH and decide what is best for you both as a couple.

I really wouldn't want to cause issues with my in laws, so I would just have the ceremony in the church but that's just me. Your ceremony wouldn't be traditional anyway cause your FH isn't catholic (I'm not catholic, my FH is) - you may also want to let your parents know that so they aren't surprised. So the ceremony would be probably 20-30 minutes at most because you can't have mass or communion.

Lots of my FH's family was disappointed we wouldn't have a traditional ceremony but oh well - nothing we can do about that.