Mother of the Groom - special part

Yikes! Isn't it enough that she's the Mother of the Groom? Sounds like a piece of work! What does your fiance think about all this?

My fiance's mother is a bit of a piece of work too. Thankfully, he's well aware of that fact and straight up told me to do my own thing and he would deal with his mother if she didn't like anything. She won't be contributing anything money-wise, anyway, so it's not like she gets much sway, and so far she's been great, but I know something could go down at any minute if there's something going on she doesn't like...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! Hopefully she's not too much of a drama queen the day of!

View quoted message

Hopefully she's happy with that and will be civil with you!

View quoted message Agreed. It’s horrible. I have asked and she will walk my son down the aisle but will not be reading she said, so I’m happy

People are the worst, especially when it comes to an event that's not about them, but they try to make it that way. I agree with others, let her walk with your son and offer to let her do a reading, even if she declines.

I definitely skipped out on the MIL drama, mine is out of my FH's life and the rest of his family, but she does have a habit appearing into his life every now and then. I may eventually have to deal with her, but it's been pretty quiet so far, fingers crossed.

View quoted message

I think i will keep my head high and if any more drama happens, at least i can say it wasn't me. lol, thank you for your help!

View quoted message

Most definitely. It's so sad because it's supposed to feel like such a special time. I hope everything gets better for you!

View quoted message

Oi vey.

I know exactly how you feel.

I'd offer the reading, because then its on them if they decline.

Are they doing a speech at the reception as well? Those are probably two of the easier ways to involve them/her.

I think walking your son, or your fiance down the aisle (for example, to start the ceremony at ours, the pre-ceremony will turn off, groomsmen will ask guests to sit, they stand at front, Groom walks his mum down the aisle seats her, then the ceremony music starts with the bridesmaids walking).

I also am not sure if you're doing a mother-son dance as well?

View quoted message

Oy vey! that's stressful. I am so sorry.

if you are comfortable. all you can do is offer.

View quoted message

She wants nothing to do with reading anything, she doesn't want to wear a dress, she doesn't want to dress up too much etc.. so i think i will stick with the walking as that's probably all they will be comfortable with, i will offer a reading too, but i know they will decline that.

View quoted message

Thank you Marcia I think I will have them walk our son down the aisle

That stinks when a MIL does that kind of stuff. I've gotten frustrated a few times with mine so far. but the one thing I try and step back and think of is that weddings are hard for moms of boys as they generally aren't as involved as the bride's parents. and they are excited for the big day too (some aren't..i get that too).
as much as my MIL makes me roll my eyes. I want to find a way to include her because I know she is excited. I don't see the harm in them walking with your son. you could even have her do a reading. there are lots of options.
deep breath. it will be ok!

View quoted message

You've got a point there!

View quoted message

Totally worth a shot! thank you!

Hi Veronique, sorry to hear your going through all this wedding planning drama. For some reason weddings tend to bring the worst out of people and some how it becomes about them and not you. Keep your head up in the process and always remember its your day and you can't please everyone. The most important persons in this equation is you and your future hubby . If you wanted to be inclusive too your future mother-in-law it wouldn't be a bad idea if they walked down with your son. It would look very cute, and they would feel included. But it is your day, and since you're footing the bill it should go the way you want it too. I would also suggest getting your fiance to talk to his parents maybe that might help. I can see how all the situations and drama can become very stressful, stay positive and everything will work out. Happy Planning!

View quoted message

I think it sounds like a good solution to have them walk him down. My advice would be, as much as it may kill you (I know it would kill me anyways to be mushy to that woman), make it seem like them walking your son down is a huge deal and you'd be honoured if they would do it, there's no one you would rather have stand with him yada yada yada... It's definitely special but bet if you go a little overboard on how much it would mean to you she will be satisfied with her "part". Good luck!

View quoted message Yeah she sounds like she can never be satisfied.. luckily when my fiance's family..well mom and aunt... put in their unnecessary comments and such they get shut down by him before I can even do anything. So all I can say is..ignore her. I do it, if it's a constant thing I just ignore it. Idk if she will get think hint but work a shot? Goodluck!!!

Sounds like she will create drama and make it all about her no matter what you do. I think it would be nice if they walked your son down the aisle for sure.

Sounds like she's going to stir up drama whatever you decide so I'd do whatever you want! I'm sure she'll just find something else to complain about if you decide to include them.

View quoted message

Yeah, its like its an unintended marriage course, here's this problem and this one and oh this one too, lets see how you handle those. I've talked to him and he is non confrontational when it comes to his parents. I think maybe I will ask them to walk him down the aisle, I just hope that is enough for them, because as cute and as special (i think its special) as it is, she's never satisfied.

View quoted message

Right! In our case he was the one saying we should elope and i was the one saying we should have a wedding. Weddings are amazing, but they bring out the drama and they bring out peoples true colors i feel.

Oh boy! Drama, drama..I feel ya girl. I also had MOH issues now I'm also down a bridesmaid, considering knocking out another due to more issues and just having my brother's. Long story! But I also have mama drama! Lol my own mother, a week after we got engaged she and my step dad said they would not attend the wedding because of a rocky relationship I have with my stepdad. It's all resolved now however neither of them will be included in the wedding.
My advice for how to deal with mama drama is talk to you fiance, maybe he can step in and help out.
Also I don't think it's a horrible idea to let his parents walk with your son, I think that's cute. We may be doing the same thing at our wedding. Hope this all works out for you!

View quoted message

I feel you, girl! Somebody always tends to take away from the happiness of it all and turn it into something about them. I've gone through this with my FSIL, FMIL, and my MOH. Its been a tough go and made my fiancé realize even more so that he should have listened to me when I said we should have just gone to the courthouse!

View quoted message

I agree, one hundred percent! She is being absolutely unreasonable. I don't want to give her any part in the wedding, but on the other hand i don't want the drama that will come from that decision. I love Andrew to death and if i didn't i would not have put up with her for the last 12 years. It has been an 11 year engagement and I am excited to make it official on our terms but its starting to feel not about us.

Holy moly.... Honestly, weddings bring out the WORST in people! I'm so sorry your MIL is doing this to you! She is being completely selfish and unreasonable. She is most definitely jealous and acting like a spoiled rotten child, in my opinion.

I'm not even sure what I would have her do at this point. I would be beyond annoyed and likely wouldn't include her in anything. But, if you feel you must, have her walk your son down the aisle... I mean, what else are in laws supposed to do on the day of?