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Kelly
Expert September 2019 Manitoba

MOH not attending rehearsal dinner

Kelly, on August 27, 2019 at 17:18 Posted in Before the wedding 0 12
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Thats weird right? I realize that the actual rehearsal is the important bit, and she'll be there for that, but it would be nice to have everybody hang out casually after and just have a laugh.

She's a new mom as of January.

And I get that. But let me rant on this for a sec.

She is no longer breastfeeding. Her husband is very capable of handling everything on his own. She is a serial overthinker. It took her 3 months after baby was born to even leave the house. HE'S FIIIIINE.

And I think the reason she rsvp'd no is because her husband and baby are coming to the rehearsal too (so they have to leave and put him to bed)...to which my response is "Y tho...." They don't have to be there. I love them both, but they aren't required to attend our rehearsal.

It only goes from 7-10. Can I not get a teeny tiny 3 hour commitment?


Alright cool, thx for being here and letting me vent.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 12, 2019 at 15:45
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Lmaoooo!! maybe she just wants to run home to her baby lol!!! maybe shes excited to see him/her hahah i know new moms that are SOOO attached lol cant she just bring the baby to the rehearsal and leave him in the car seat/stroller (im not a mom so i have no idea)

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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    That's a bit frustrating. And when it comes to something like that, you hate to impose and feel like a bridezilla - you're not! I'm just saying, I have made demands of my bridesmaids similar to this that make me stop and think, "Am I being a bridezilla here?" The answer is no. You're allowed to require and expect things of these people (within reason, of course). That's part of the bargain when they agreed to stand with you. And this is well within reason.

    I think you should talk to her directly. Tell her how important this is to you and it would mean a lot for her to be there. Maybe compromise and tell her she doesn't have to be there the whole time.

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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne Online ·
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    Sorry to hear that.... I hope you can get her to come around. Sounds like she needs the day off from baby too.
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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    View quoted message

    Honestly, I really don't think she thought much about why it would be important for her to attend. I can totally see her just being all "well, I have a baby, so I have to go home". She's always been the type of person who doesn't think she's allowed to have fun. She's like a 60 year old trapped in a 30 year old body lol.

    We're having no kids at the wedding, which all of our fiends who are parents are more than fine with. I also anticipated that because MOH's baby was going to be 9 months old at the time of our wedding, and that she'd be busy, that grandma and grandpa would be looking after him. I only just found out that they're bringing him....so I'm not really sure how present she's going to be now. I'm relying heavily on the wedding party to pack up decor at the end of the night, and now I'm wondering is she's even going to stay until the end.

    So yeah...I think a talk is definitely in order.

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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    Thanks for this perspective. Its helpful to have a mom chime in.

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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne Online ·
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    I'm sure she's trying her best. The first few months are so overwhelming yes even leaving the house seems impossible. It'll get easier. Maybe tell her how you're feeling and she if she is ok with having hubby and baby leaving after rehearsal and her staying. She may need a break without even realizing it. If she can't try to have some patience. I hope it all works out.
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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    That is too bad and I can understand the disappointment.
    I was a mess post partum with my first. My baby had severe colic, I was operating on 2-3 hours of sleep a night and I had severe post partum depression. Life was really hard and it stayed hard for at least 18 months. I think I would have cried just at the thought of going out to socialize.
    I know it sucks and maybe none of that applies to her. But maybe she just really needs to go home after the rehearsal. I really feel for you both.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    That definitely is disappointing, however I'm also not a mom and I wouldn't know the reasonings behind missing out on a 3 hour commitment.

    I feel like the husband should be more than capable of staying with the baby and she can enjoy herself! Maybe talk to the husband and ask if he'd be ok to not attend and stay home with the baby.

    I needed to vent here yesterday, and I feel a lot better! Glad the WeddingWire community is here!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Totally agree with you - then again I'm not a Mom so who knows how I would be with a 3 month old and whether I'm joint at the hip to him/her or not?

    I would maybe ask her why/why not and if she says it's because of the baby maybe you could go around her to her husband and make it a "surprise! you get to stay a little longer for some drinks with me!!"?

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Yea I get what your saying here.. I have few people who are in wedding party and have children. Its been same issues. I would personally speak to her and just let her know that the husband and baby don't need to come if she was still able to. Due to the sounds of anxiety of being away from her baby I don't think she would come without the baby. my future sil is same way. She still hasn't found a sitter yet... We said children had to leave by 8pm and now her parents which is his parents have to take care of her all day of wedding.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Where are you having your rehearsal dinner? Can she just bring her baby and let him sleep when he’s tired.
    Could the baby stay with either of their grandparents so mom and dad can have a night to justchill.
    I think if you talk to her and let her know you really want her there
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Have you talked to her personally? Let her know that it would mean a lot to you if she stayed?
    • Reply

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