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Emily
Beginner August 2021 Ontario

Mixed Denonimation Wedding - striking the right balance!

Emily, on April 6, 2021 at 21:23 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 4
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We're having a mixed denomination wedding, but we're both not religious. It's more of a node to our families, and as I joke it's "Jewish and Hippy" wedding since my parent's we're more hippy's in the 60's than anything else.

But we're trying to strike the right balance between having some traditions and less formal/ modern aspects of the wedding to speak our values too.

So any suggestions for what Jewish traditions to include in the ceremony and reception? Aspects that lend themselves to non-traditional elements?

Thank you!

4 Comments

Latest activity by Amelia, on April 9, 2021 at 20:27
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I would ask each of your parents if there is something that they would love to have. Maybe there is a hippie wedding tradition that has been passed down for generations!


    My husband and I aren't religious, but my parents are. I had planned to ask my dad to say a blessing over the food (since he would say one for his own plate anyway). To me it wasn't something I needed, but it doesn't bother me and I know it would mean a lot to him.
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  • Carmel
    Featured December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
    • Dispute
    Not sure if this will help you but I'm Jewish and my husband is... not... Haha. We went through a list of the traditions typical in a Jewish ceremony, read about what they mean and symbolize and decided which to use from there! We did stand under a chuppah (same one my sister used for her wedding in 2001 - yes big age difference haha) as we loved that it represents the home we have been building and continue to build together, inviting our friends and family into it (our parents stood beside it rather than under it as we were the only ones under it - officiant to the side). My mom was adamant about some things - including me being veiled. I do love the rationale behind it (emphasizing that the groom is not solely interested in the bride's physical beauty, which fades with time; but rather in her inner beauty which she will never lose. When the groom veils his bride, he is saying, "I will love, cherish and respect not only the 'you' which is visible to me, but also those elements of your personality that are hidden from me.") We did modernize this tradition though and my husband out the veil over my face when my parents and I got to the top of the aisle (yes our parents both met us halfway and walked us down - also a tradition). We also did the wine ceremony with our moms (out of a quiach though as MIL's side is Scottish). In Judaism, wine is a symbol of joy and celebration. In Christianity, wine symbolizes the expansive power of love. Our dads read the seven blessings (my dad read them in Hebrew at my sisters' weddings so it was a must for me). FIL read a modern, non-religious version of the English that we tweaked. We obviously did the breaking of the glass because my husband could not contain his excitement for it 🤣. Hope this helps a bit! Feel free to ask me any other questions.
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    As some of the traditions that may be part of the ceremony from what you may consider yourself. I come from an Indian family that has pre events before the wedding and that didn't happen as much as wanted. The ceremony itself had 3 parts which 2 did make it with the Officiant not losing his license.
    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    Are there certain elements that your family would really want that you wouldn't be opposed to?

    For example, my family is Buddhist but I didn't want to be praying to gods and Buddhist symbols at my wedding. In the Buddhist religion and Chinese culture, praying to ancestors is a major thing so we're incorporating that into our wedding as a way to keep cultural traditions without an overt nod to a God/deity. Is there something along those lines in Judaism?

    As a side note, whenever one of my friends talk about his future wedding, he always refer to it as a "Jew-ish wedding" lol. His family is orthodox, he's not and the person he's marrying is not remotely connected to the religion.

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