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Robyn
Super June 2019 Ontario

Married!

Robyn, on July 10, 2019 at 10:04 Posted in Just married 0 15

Hey guys, I know I've been absent from the community for a while, but the reason is.... this happened!

We got married!Married! 1


It was not a perfect day by any means, and so many things did not go according to plan, but lemme tell you guys, there was no greater feeling than waking up the next morning and realizing that despite everything that went off the rails, the most important part of the day happened flawlessly, because I ended up married to the love of my life.

I've had a bit of time to think over things, and I thought I would share some advice based solely on my own experience - YMMV, so please take that into consideration Smiley smile

1. Don't invite people just because you think you should, or other people want you to. I invited some family members I was not close with, for a number of reasons: my mom asked me to, I felt like I should, I didn't want to embarrass other family members who were invited by leaving out others, and my husband thought it would look "weird" if only his family was there. So I invited people, despite being really reluctant. I should have trusted my gut. Having those people there put a serious damper on certain moments of the day, and some major post-wedding drama kind of soured the honeymoon bliss.

2. Give your vendors explicit instructions, get everything in writing, and ask for VISUAL SAMPLES where possible. This is related specifically to my florist. I told her what I wanted, sent her multiple inspiration pics, but never thought to ask for progress pictures or visual samples. So my centerpieces were tiny and sparse, and my bouquet was really not what I had wanted or asked for. (For example, I said multiple times that I wanted a cascading bouquet and that I didn't want white flowers in the bouquet... um?)

3. EAT. SOME. FOOD. (And drink something. Anything. I'm begging you). I know everyone says this, and I thought I'd have no problem - I packed loads of snacks and water. But I was so nervous that I had no appetite, and to be honest, there was so much running around I didn't even remember to eat anything after my 5 am breakfast. And then when I did remember, I didn't want to ruin my lipstick haha. This unfortunate bout of vanity resulted in me passing out in the getaway car after taking pictures for an hour in a hot, sunny park. It will make for a funny anecdote, but it was not so funny in the moment, when I woke to my new husband and 2 brothers-in-law panicking and debating whether to call 911, and then being force-fed emergency cashews and gatorade they got from the nearest gas station.

4. Don't be afraid to speak up on the day. So many things happened that day that I wish I had just stopped with a few firm words. My father-in-law interrupted out recessional walk to ask my husband if we were going to take group photos (*facepalm*), so we had impromptu family photos at the altar of the church, taking turns with each family group we had invited, while all the other guests watched. It was so awkward and unpleasant, and threw off our timeline completely. There was some miscommunication due to cultural differences, and no one thought to tell me beforehand that the guests would expect individual portraits with my husband and I.

5. Anything and everything can go wrong, but at the end of the day, only one thing matters. There were so many good memories from that day, many more than anything negative, so I think it's important to focus on the positive. And really, even if everything goes wrong and all of your planning flies out the window, as long as you end up married to your partner, your wedding has fulfilled its most important purpose. And yes, it does fly by in the blink of an eye and you'll wake up the next morning wondering if it was all a dream, and wishing you had done this thing differently and that thing differently, and be a bit sad that you didn't take time to savour every moment, but then you'll realize that was just page one of the story, and there are a hundred thousand pages of adventure left for your and your new spouse to write together.

I'll still pop into the forums now and then even though I'm a Mrs, so this post isn't a goodbye from me, but I want to thank every single one of you amazing people. It saved my sanity having a space to vent, and your supportive and understanding comments meant the world to me during my planning process. And thank you to everyone who shares their own highs and lows during their wedding planning journey, so the rest of us don't feel so alone. You guys are awesome. Smiley heart

15 Comments

Latest activity by Tamara, on July 19, 2019 at 08:31
  • Tamara
    Frequent user July 2019 Nova Scotia
    Tamara ·
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    Thank you so much for the advice. My wedding is 8 days away and the reminders in what you said made me a little teary eyed (I am pretty much crying over everything these days haha). I am so glad you were able to cherish all of the positives of your day and I wish you both many more happy days together and a lifetime of adventure Smiley heart.

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  • Kathy
    Frequent user August 2019 Ontario
    Kathy ·
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    Congratulations! You looked beautiful. Thanks for the advice
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  • K
    Frequent user September 2024 Nova Scotia
    Kelly ·
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    Thank you for this wonderful advice, and that photo is lovely! I'll be keeping these tips in mind for sure!

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  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
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    Congratulations. Wonderful photo and thank you for all the advice!

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  • Hélène
    Devoted September 2019 Alberta
    Hélène ·
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    Congratulations, Robyn! Stunning photo! Thank you for the wisdom. 💖
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  • A
    Super September 2020 Ontario
    Amelia ·
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    Congrats Robyn!! You look amazing and so happy to hear that - despite the unexpected twists - you had a wonderful day. And thanks for all the great advice! We have different cultures too so we're trying to incorporate both a bit but I'm bracing for some differences of opinion anyway..

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Congrats to you both and you look beautiful. Great tips to give others to look forward to their day being prepared of what to expect.

    I do regret inviting some of the guests my husband knew that I hadn't met before plus 1 other individual that was never meant to be there.

    The best thing I did about pictures was making a list of which guests was in the group to take up less time and to get it done fast. The family shots were the ones that took some time and important to us. My brother called out the names and they made their way down. Those who wanted individual pictures had to wait until reception.

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    You look stunning!! I was waiting for your post!

    Congratulations to you and your new husband!

    Im in the same boat with having two different cultures coming together, so I’m really thankful for your advice!
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Congrats Robyn and thanks for the advice, especially about eating lol!

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Congratulations Robyn! You and your new husband look amazing and what great advice you’ve given to all of us. Enjoy your first summer as a married woman!
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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Congrats! You both look amazing!

    Even though many things went wrong, you are very right that after all of that, you still woke up to the love of your life!

    Your advice is amazing, it is great to remember these things.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Congratulations!!! Good luck with married life!! Can't wait to be a MRS!!

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Congratulations Robyn and the photo looks amazing! I appreciate all of your advice and those are key things to keep in mind! Lately with different summer get together's my mom has done the whole we should invite these people. I have said no and it has stuck- she even offered to pay but not the point I don't want them there.

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  • Lisa
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks for sharing your photo (so lovely!) and you thoughts - glad the day was still fantastic, despite some lessons learned!!

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  • Shla
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Shla ·
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    Congratulations! You guys looked so amazing!! Thanks for all the advice. Enjoy being newlyweds!
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