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Trudy
Curious September 2018 Ontario

Marriage certificates and previous marriages

Trudy, on May 10, 2018 at 16:21 Posted in Ontario 0 15
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Hello,
I’m feeling desperate and I’m not sure if anyone can help me or if this is even an appropriate place for a question like this. My fiancé and I have set a date for our September wedding. He is still married and obviously needs to be divorce for us to be legally married. His ex-wife had said she was fine with getting a divorce and would complete a joint application for divorce. They have been separated for 10 years and based on what she said about a joint simple uncontested divorce we booked our venue. Now she is not willing to go forward with a simple divorce and there might not be enough time for his divorce to finalize before our Sept 8/18 wedding. We have out a non-refundable deposit on our venue Smiley sad
Any ideas on what to do, or divorces and marriage registrations.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on August 22, 2018 at 21:21
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Im glad everything worked in time and your papers came through beforehand.
    • Reply
  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
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    We got the certificate and our mairrgae licence 😁😁
    • Reply
  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    View quoted message
    That’s good to hear.

    Just so you know, I believe you need the actual divorce certificate that you need to get from the court house (not the divorce order) in order to get your marriage license.

    When my divorce was done I was mailed a copy of the order but I had to actually go to the court house and get a copy of the certificate.
    • Reply
  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
    • Dispute
    Update: the divorce is final and all went well 😁 We can legally be pronounced HUSBAND AND WIFE 🎉
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Newbie September 2018 Nova Scotia
    Katie ·
    • Dispute
    Have the wedding! Have a family member or friend run the ceremony and when the ex is done and gone with then just file paperwork for the legal marriage. (Maybe file in your 'first anniversary'?)

    I'm divorced (NS) and it's a pain in the ass to wait for the paperwork to get back, once we filed it took 3-6 months before we would get the finalized divorce paperwork, the system is slow and sucky.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    Hi Trudy, I wish you luck today with the lawyer! I hope the Mississauga courts are a little bit faster, I'm in Niagara and it's a mess haha. My fingers are crossed for you guys too! Hopefully you can update us with good news. Smiley smile

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  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
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    View quoted message
    Hi Samantha, thank you for your message, it’s very helpful. I am in the Mississauga area. We are meeting with a lawyer today for a free consultation for some guidance about the particulars of the case and her claims. I’ve got my fingers crossed 🤞
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I'm sorry that your partner's ex has decided to back away from her promise. That's stressful and unnecessary.

    I saw someone post below about doing a symbolic ceremony and reception. That's what my sister did (except the opposite way). My brother-in-law is from the states, and they wanted to start their lives with living together before they got married. Once engaged, my sister and brother-in-law got married at the courthouse, but didn't hold an actual wedding until months later. They celebrate their anniversary as the day we did the ceremony and reception.

    What most people (including my parents currently) do for an uncontested divorce is the following *this is not legal advice*:

    - File the Application (as a simple divorce, NOT joint), get your court file number, and then serve it on your ex-partner.

    - FILE THE AFFIDAVIT OF SERVICE AS SOON AS YOU HAVE PERSONALLY SERVED THE EX!

    - The ex-partner has 30 days from the date of service to file any responding materials (in my parents situation, my mom filed and my father then just didn't respond as it was uncontested and he knew about it).

    - After the 30 days, my mom filed her affidavit of divorce, certificate of divorce, and divorce order, along with 2 envelopes that were each stamped and self addressed to my mom and my dad's separate home addresses.

    - Basically now, my mom and dad both wait for their respective Divorce Orders to be sent to them via regular mail. There will be a date on the Divorce Order. 30 days from that date, your partner can go to the court house, bring $19 and receive his Divorce Certificate. He must have the Divorce Certificate in order to get remarried.

    The problem is, a lot of courts right now are backed up. At my firm, we aren't even getting Divorce Orders after 6 months. Where are you located in Ontario? Hopefully your courts are faster than ours right now.

    If the courts aren't backed up, the process is usually a total of 90 days depending.

    The only way I could see the above backfiring, is if your partner doesn't tell her that he is filing a simple divorce and so she gets these papers and wants to basically start a fight. If your partner lets her know "hey, I'm filing for a simple divorce. I'm going to serve you with these papers, and you literally do not have to file anything in response. Then we'll get our divorce orders in the mail and can go get our divorce certificates. It's super simple but I can't wait any longer."

    The court fees are approximately $500.00. It's $167.00 to file the Application, and then another $290 for the Affidavit of Divorce and all the other paper work, and then $19.00 for the appropriate Divorce Certificate.

    I am not a lawyer, but I am a law clerk. It's very simple, and you don't need to get lawyers involved if it's just a simple, uncontested divorce.

    If you have to get lawyers involved, your fees will go up astronomically. I hope the ex doesn't put up a fight and you can have your special day with significant less amounts of stress. It's your day, and really, a symbolic wedding wouldn't be any different except for the signing. That way you don't lose any money and can enjoy the day hassle free, and deal with all the other crap after if needed.

    I wish you lots of luck!!

    • Reply
  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
    • Dispute

    Have your FH fill out all of the appropriate documents as if it were a joint agreement on his own and then bring it to her to sign. That's what I did with my ex. Then you bring it to your local courthouse or wherever you apply for divorces, pay the fee, and you're done.

    • Reply
  • Caroline
    Newbie October 2020 Ontario
    Caroline ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Trudy

    I'm sorry you are going through this. Of course, there is such a thing as a symbolic wedding. You guys can have a close friend be the officiant or even hire an officiant and not have him fill out the legal paperwork. A wedding is a celebration of when two ppl decided to become one for the rest of their lives and a piece of paper will not change that. Yes in the eyes of the law you two will not be officially married by in your hearts you will and that's whats important not the piece of paper. And with your dad having that horrible illness (i'm sorry that must be hard on its own and now you need to deal with this on top) I personally think you shouldn't wait. Do it all now and make it legal by going to the courthouse when his divorce is final. Like I said its a piece of paper and that should ruin your big day and which is the celebration of your love for each other.

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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    Of course it wasn't. What a pain to have to deal with! It also might be worth discussing with your venue. They may give you back your deposit due to extenuating circumstances or sometimes they will allow you to change your date with no penalty. I hope it all works out!
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  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you Erin. It has really taken the wind out of my sails. We don’t have an officiant but I will find one to ask. He doesn’t have a lawyer yet because it was going to be simple. He is waiting to hear back from a lawyer, now there will that expense and who knows what the outcome will be and how much it could cost. This certainly wasn’t in the Budget.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute
    You could certainly still have the wedding but just don't do any of the paperwork until after the divorce is finalized. Have you found an officiant? Ask them what you should do. Or I'm sure your fiance's lawyer would answer a few questions for you (if he has one). I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with this, it sounds awful...
    • Reply
  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
    • Dispute
    I know it’s kinda stupid to go forward planning a wedding when the divorce is not finalized. Is there a way to have a symbolic wedding ceremony? Whereby we can celebrate our love with our friends and loved ones. My father has dementia and he knows who I am at the present and is not in care yet, I’m afraid of how he may be if we wait too long. We have been together for 2 years and it would be a one year engagement. I’m not religious and, and we wouldn’t go in front of a officiant. Is there such thing of a symbolic wedding ceremony and reception?
    • Reply
  • Trudy
    Curious September 2018 Ontario
    Trudy ·
    • Dispute
    The title should say Previous marriages
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