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K
Newbie October 2021 South Carolina

Maid of honor

Katherine, on March 3, 2021 at 10:31 Posted in Before the wedding 1 5

I know this topic has probably been brought up many times before, so I apologize. My FH & I have been dating for 2 yrs & 4 mos. We are getting married in Oct of this year. I have 5 bridesmaids.

My FH introduced me to the person who would become my MOH. She's been a great friend & I'm glad I picked her, but she's a little opinionated & becoming overbearing.

She keeps telling me I need to have another registry for people who don't want to spend much money. We already have 2 registries. We are both 43 & combining households, so we don't need much stuff. (There are also things on the registries that don't cost as much. And on our website, we have said we would appreciate contributions to our honeymoon since we don't need much stuff.)

It's not just that. My FH has a 16-year old daughter who I love. My MOH says I need to do some big thing in the ceremony to include her like give her a bracelet or something because "I'm marrying her too". I just want to do the a unity ceremony. I have asked her to be a bridesmaid, so she's going to get all of the bridesmaid gifts too. I feel like this and whatever unity ceremony is enough.

I feel like I am being overrun. Help! TIA

5 Comments

Latest activity by Katherine, on March 3, 2021 at 19:07
  • K
    Newbie October 2021 South Carolina
    Katherine ·
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    Thanks guys! Great suggestions! I think I am going to gently tell her my FH and I have discussed and decided what we want to do. I talked to him when we got home from work, and he said for me to "Stop sweating the small s**t" lol. He also said his daughter is very happy with being a bridesmaid and will be happy with the unity ceremony. And that the MOH likes to spend $$ which is not us.

    And I realized tonight that I joined Wedding Wire Canada. (I'm in SC USA lol) But you guys are great neighbors! Good luck with all of your planning!

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Two registries are not enough? I'm not having any registry lol. I think at 16 it's more important how the stepdaughter is treated every day more than at the wedding. I'm sure she feels very much a part of everything as a bridesmaid. Definitely a nice reminder that it's your wedding and while you appreciate the advice you think what you have is enough.
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Amelia is probably right but I’m much less tactful lol. I don’t think I could have a friendship where I constantly felt questioned by my friend or where I had to pretend to take their advice that I just didn’t agree with at all. I would probably do what Hank suggested and just tell her you appreciate she’s trying to help but you really don’t need or want it and she needs to back off and let you make your own decisions.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    What Amelia said. Bang on.

    Might be easier for me as a guy but if someone is continuously preaching like that to me about my plans, I'd just be like "Dude, I appreciate the concern but back off."

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    I think you should say "thanks for the suggestion(s), I'll see what FH thinks and then he and I will make a decision". It's a way of acknowledging their offer of help, but also reminding them that this is *your* wedding.


    Giving her a small win like adding a few less expensive items to the registry might be a way to smooth over not taking another piece of her advice. To me it's a "pick your battles" kind of thing, and at the end of the day is adding a few items to the registry worth the fight? No, but how you accept someone into your family probably is worth standing your ground.
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