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Maria
Beginner October 2022 Alberta

Let's talk about feelings...when a bridesmaid bails on you

Maria, on July 9, 2022 at 20:31 Posted in Before the wedding 0 8

Hey everyone,

I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to! A little less than a year ago I unfortunately had a bridesmaid say she couldn't make it do to finances, but was mature about it and gave me tons of warning before I had much planning done. Unfortunately it's now happening again, but now our wedding is less than 3 months away and EVERYTHING is done, paid for, and I'm footing the bill for most of what she was supposed to be paying for including the dress.

Just wondering how anyone else has dealt with this? I'm stressing pretty hard now, but trying to find relief in the fact that I think I have another friend that will fit the dress and is local to me, saving me from losing more money Smiley sad

8 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on July 14, 2022 at 23:26
  • Stephanie
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I had this happen to me but with a groomsman. He never really declined when offered but was dead quiet. No responses to my fiancé’s messages or attempts to hangout to be supportive. This guy was having some rough times with his family. It was early on in the planning process so it wasn’t too big of a deal. My FH’s stance is we invited and offered being part of the wedding party to the people we really care about. We have very close friends — not a huge crowd of friends. So we have our a maid of honour, 2 bridesmaids, a best man and 1 groomsman. It’s uneven but you know what, my fiancé is right. We have who is really meaningful to us. Our solution to the recessional of the ceremony is my one bridesmaid is going to have her significant other walk her back down the aisle to exit. I asked my best friend a year or so ago if she would be okay with this as a option. Luckily she was totally cool with it. I hope it works out and sorry about the unnecessary stress right now.
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  • Maria
    Beginner October 2022 Alberta
    Maria ·
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    Ugh that's awful I'm sorry you had to go through that! Definitely nice to know I'm not alone. I really appreciate this community!

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  • Maria
    Beginner October 2022 Alberta
    Maria ·
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    Thank you! I sure hope so cause all I'm really looking for at this point is an explanation!

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  • C
    VIP September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    I am the worse case scenario kind of bride and I always have backups for my back ups. There's got to be something else she is not telling you, let it go and use your other friend. Sucks that she is doing this at the very last minute, but maybe there's something going on for her to bail on you like this especially after offering to pay for her.

    Good luck!

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  • Meghan
    Devoted September 2022 Ontario
    Meghan ·
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    Yep, my sister was supposed to be in my bridal party and we had a disagreement on a decision that my fiance and I made for our wedding that she didn't agree with so she pulled out from being a bridesmaid 5 months before the wedding. luckily my fiance's sister really wanted to be in the wedding so I was able to fill my sisters spot. I'm sorry you're going through this just know that you are not alone Smiley heart

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Ugh, that sucks. If she couldn't commit, for any reason, she should have been upfront from the get go. To put you in a position where you pay for stuff on her behalf and then drop out feels very disingenuous.

    Did she completely drop out of attending, or is she still attending as a regular guest while not being in the bridal party? Either way, I would demand that money back for the flight. I have a feeling the airline won't offer a refund so easily.

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  • Maria
    Beginner October 2022 Alberta
    Maria ·
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    Financial, which I've recently been helping with, even offering to pay for flights. That being said its all until she can pay me back, which honestly there was no time limit on at all. Even with me offering to pay for everything upfront as I've now done, there's still a "I'm don't think I can make it". With covid too this commitment was made over a year and a half ago, so it's pretty hard to digest when I'm not even sure of the reason at this point. Smiley sad

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    What was her reason for dropping out? Is she still attending as a regular guest? What else do you have to pay for in addition to her dress? Did you agree to pay for her dress? If not, you shouldn't have to foot the bill.

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