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TeamDNA
Beginner June 2019 Alberta

Last Minute Show Ups-help!

TeamDNA, on May 28, 2019 at 12:12 Posted in Wedding reception 0 17
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Our wedding is a month away and we still havent revieved all our rsvps back from my soon to be in-laws/family (all from Ontario), I spoke with my FH's sister and she said at least 2 people she talked too said its gonna be a last min decision. Smiley sad I dont want to buy extra plates since my parents have decided to pay for the whole dinner, drinks and midnight supper. Is it rude to put a sign up at the reception saying if they didnt rsvp they dont have a seat? Or should we message personally on Fb/email that if you didnt rsvp you wont have a spot but more than welcome to come for everything but dinner? Please help! I feel bad but i cant wait any longer.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on August 26, 2019 at 16:13
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    I would contact ppl who havent rsvp'd... id be like i need to know we have to have our final numbers you have to tell me yes or no... i dont see why it has to be a last minute thing.... you dont want a huge group of 8 or more people showing up and getting mad or leaving or causing a scene that they have no where to sit!

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  • K
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Katrine ·
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    You should call guests who haven’t RSVP’d yet. That way, they have to give you a response right there and not leave you on read when you text, email or FB message them. Have your wedding party or immediate family help you with the calls.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Anyone who doesn't respond to my rsvp's I will contact and if they can't commit I will tell them I'll mark them as a no. I'll explain that I do want them to come but I do need a firm number and try to make plans after the wedding that don't need as much preparation
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  • Jennifer
    Curious August 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    This is happening to us too. I would talk to them and give them a hard date of when you need a decision by, just say we need to firm up numbers with the wedding coordinator and will need to know by Aug 31. It will force them to make a decision/commit and ease some stress for you planning!
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Everyone else said it perfectly! I think that some people are just bad at things like RSVP-ing (it doesn't make it okay, but it's just something that's true). I was until I started planning my own wedding and understood all the planning that went into everything!

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  • TeamDNA
    Beginner June 2019 Alberta
    TeamDNA ·
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    Thank you for your resonse. Smiley smile
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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Hahah chair and sandwich.. that's amazing

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I agree with everyone else here - RSVP deadlines are there for a reason and I'd reach out personally over the phone and ask it they are yes or no. If they can't commit, you'll unfortunately have to mark them as no since you need your seating chart/catering numbers by a certain date.

    Like Amanda said, you're not being rude. The guests that think they can just leave RSVPing to the last minute are!

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Contact them ASAP. You need to know numbers before giving the final count to your venue.

    Some guests really do not understand that they need to give an RSVP sooner rather than later. I still like the post I have seen floating around Facebook that says if you did not RSVP please bring your own chair and sandwich!

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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Not rude even a little bit. I think the guests that think they can make a pinch decision like that are rude.. weddings take a lot of planning people need to understand you need notice.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I would call them up and say as much as you appreciate things can change last minute, you need an answer from them in order to have food available for them.
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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    I would contact them ASAP and request for an answer. I get that things might change last minute, but that's up to them to figure out and shouldn't be your problem.

    You could either ask for an answer on the spot, or tell them that if you don't hear back by 'x date' that they'll be chalked down as 'no' and that no extra plates will be available for last minute show ups.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Not rude at all! This is a wedding and everybody knows that there is an RSVP by deadline for a reason. You need numbers in not only for the seating chart but for the food as well.

    I wouldn't have your FH's sister talk to them though - I would your FH and yourself call them to avoid any miscommunication and it's harder to avoid answering the question when it's the Bride and Groom asking. That's when you tell them you need to know now or they will be put down as a no and are more than welcome to attend after supper. Just make sure you CALL if possible so that you get the answers asap over messages that they can ignore or claim they didn't see.

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  • TeamDNA
    Beginner June 2019 Alberta
    TeamDNA ·
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    Thank you for your response. Smiley smile Made my day hearing im not being rude or mean on my end. Smiley smile
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  • TeamDNA
    Beginner June 2019 Alberta
    TeamDNA ·
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    Congrats on your wedding. Smiley smile And thank you so much for your input. Smiley smile Made me feel so much better
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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I agree! There are RSVPs for a GOOD reason! I understand things happen last minute but honestly guests should know they the price is by head and if they don't have the right counts by the right time there can be missing seats or over paying. Our wedding was last weekend and honestly, we had a few last minute no shows and then a vendor brought some extra help and my mom invited 2 people last minute the day of! Ended up balancing out for us TBH! Unfortunately you cannot predict what people will do or force them to RSVP, just do the best you can with the numbers you get and if people show up who forgot to RSVP yes... well they can just smell the dinner from afar!

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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    I wouldn't buy extra for possible show ups.. and to the people that said it will be a last minute decision - there are rsvp dates for a reason so I would have the sister tell them unfortunately, there won't be a seat for them then as you need to have your final numbers in. Or sure, tell them yourself.. but 100% I would make sure they knew there would be no seat and no food.. you don't just get to decide last minute if you're going to go, people are planning around this... so thoughtless

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