Larger engagement party, smaller wedding

View quoted message Thanks Carmel. Yes I almost put that in the description but wasn’t sure if it was relevant. We will be requesting our guests “presence not their presents”. We do not want gifts at this party

I'd agree with the previous comments. It's part of why I personally think the concept of a stag and doe is awful - inviting people who aren't invited to your wedding to help FUND your wedding... This is not the same at all, I get that, but along the same lines, you'd have to tread lightly. I'd actually make it VERY clear with the invite given its not an elopement and make it clear you don't expect gifts (you'd probably still get some) because otherwise it may come off as a cash grab as well (many people assume all these pre-wedding events are just for gifts - fair enough honestly). You'll definitely still have some upset people but ultimately what you do is up to you!! You do you!

Thanks for the responses so far! It is not an elopement, we just have about 50 more people in our lives than we can invite to the wedding. I would prefer not to continue wedding festivities after the wedding, I think I will need a break lol

I'm in total agreement with Jacquie...

Wedding etiquette is only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the prewedding festivities. You may have to prepare yourself to have a few upset guests.

How small is the wedding going to be? If you were going to do a 10-15 person elopement style wedding, would you consider a separate party afterwards instead of before? You could then play it off like "Hey we eloped! Come celebrate with us!" They even have wedding invites just for this.