Kids at wedding?

Maybe say please 12 and over if bringing kids in a blanket statement?

View quoted message There are lots of weddings where some kids are invited and others aren’t. It’s also not unusual to have an age cutoff for kids.
Couples shouldn’t be forced to invite people they don’t want at their wedding just because other people say so. Weddings are stressful and expensive enough without this added pressure.

Its going to be a deal breaker for 1 family to not attend because of their kids not being invited over others. Do keep it one way to have families or Adult Evening only. Personally coming from a large Indian family, we always have kids part of the wedding no matter what we decide. Baby sitters can be arranged for families to be watched for the evening time while the adults get to enjoy the dinner and dancing time for reception. You can decide to have the kids at the ceremony and reception (not for reception is acceptable) if you feel their parents will allow them to drink alcohol. I do understand how much the kids love you both and will look forward to being there given some boundaries.

You definitely have to include all kids or no kids at all to avoid any issues!

When you say brats, do you mean you think they'll ruin the ceremony and be a problem for you during the reception? If they're just going to be a problem for the parents, you can bite the bullet but if they're known to antagonize you at public functions, I would find a way to not invite them.

I'm that family's rsvp card put ____/2 attending, so they clearly know that only Mr&Mrs are invited.


If they ask about kids and you feel you need to answer say "just teens and adults", or straight up say you don't feel the occasion is appropriate for their kids/young kids. You could also do the whole "we want you to have a fun time and not need to be entertaining your kids" line, but that could backfire if they say their kids will entertain themselves (which tbh is probably the worst case scenario).

I have been at different functions with these two kids. They start out cute and then look out lol! My fiancé says to turn a blind eye. Too hard for me. I just want everyone to have fun. I love these kids but I just think this particular wedding isn't one for them. Yeah if I thought it would end the friendship I think I would just bite the bullet but.....hopefully that is not the case!! So hard when it comes to someones child.

Think I may just have to call her and say....uggg.....maybe it won't be as bad as I think lol!

Thank you for the advice

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Thanks! Yeah this is one instance covid may come in handy lol. I would like this particular Mom to come solo. She is a single Mom and could really use the break. Hoping she sees it that way.

Thanks for the advice!

I think since you're getting married this year you can totally play the "limited guests due to covid" card and pick and choose which kids come. If you're going to be limited in the number of guests you should absolutely only have guests that you want there. People should be understanding and honestly I feel like most parents would be happy to have a night away from their kids after the last year. I don't have kids and don't particularly like them but if I ever did have them I absolutely would not want them to come to a wedding with me lol.

But even without covid, I think as long as there is a clear cut off for ages there shouldn't be a huge issue. It's really common to have no kids at weddings or only kids of a certain age. If you say only kids 12+ are allowed then it doesn't seem like you're playing favourites and rather it's a maturity thing - you want kids there that can take care of and entertain themselves. Kids that are younger and can't do that are unfortunately not invited.

I guess it comes down to if the two younger ones will be distracting to other guests or will they just be a problem for their parents? Do you think that not inviting the younger children and inviting the older ones would end your friendship? (I personally don't think it should but you know them better than I do). I think 8 and 10 is too young for a winery when they can not get picked up. Literally at 12 kids are more young adults. I don't know any ways to talk to the parents to make it easier on anyone's feelings. Would it be easier to just say 18+? So much to think about. We were all or nothing pre-covid but if we can only have 50 indoors by our wedding date we'll have say no kids at all except our own....