Kids at the wedding - has anyone ever had a babysitter watch the kids while the adults dance and drink?

If you have the option of one then it would be fine - but I do like the idea of immediate family kids only. For ours that would have caused a big fuss though since he has 3 first cousins that are 10 and under but then I have like no first cousins but "cousins" that are under 18 that wouldn't be invited... so...

If you can then that's what I would do. Maybe you could even have her as a flower girl (even if she is a bit old for the role)

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I think this is the only one that I would actually do. Family only kids, and if they want to stay later to party then either mom or dad can go to the hotel and stay with them when they get tired.

There's no way that my FIL won't bring her, she's never had a babysitter before and he and my FH's mom will (hoping) be there. She's spoiled.

Honestly I would make a huge fuss back. It's one night, surely there is an aunt or family friend not coming to the wedding that could babysit.
It's your wedding, if you don't want kids there I would stick to your guns. Otherwise like others have mentioned you could have a gaggle of kids at the reception.
It also depends on the age and the child in question. For example a 6-9 year old can probably sit for a bit and maybe color or play quietly whereas a toddler is going to need a lot more stimulation.

I’d get a general consensus from your guests if they would be willing to/their kids wouldn’t freak around a babysitter. I wouldn’t want to see you book one and all the kids end up at the reception anyway, but I would be firm with your guests that it’s either group babysitter or they don’t come at all. That is a reasonable middle ground and doesn’t give guests the idea that kids are all of a sudden invited.

We are just limiting kids of family only (we have 2 of our own so needed a compromise), no kids of friends. That might help keep the kid number down. Most people don’t bring them as they want the night out anyway

I know my friends and family with kids wont do that. they will continually going to check on their kids and most parents dont trust randoms.

You could do that. One challenge is I think it is very likely you will end up with kids at the reception regardless. I know my kids when they were little were glued to me and they would not be content for me to leave them in a different room. Also, as a mother, I would never leave my kids with anyone I didn't personally vet.

Doesn't sound like this person would allow to have anyone watch their child. Not sure its worth your trouble to hire someone. I wouldn't worry about too many kids. Not many people want to bring their children and if there is only one child there that parent won't stay long anyway.