It's ruining the experience for me

I totally understand. Have you made peace or figured out a solution?

One thing I've started considering doing is not telling vendors it's for a wedding... Cupcake orders, flowers, etc... They don't need to know! And it literally jacks up the price over nothing.

My cousin took her wedding dress to be hemmed (she was doing destination so it was a sheath dress), and the seamstress asked if it was a formal gown. When my cousin tried to say it was a wedding dress, she goes "no, no, FORMAL GOWN" with a wink... because it was going to be $50 to hem the "formal gown" but almost $200 to hem a "wedding dress". So luckily she was nice, but it just goes to show how people take advantage of brides who think they "have to" spend the money.

Going 100% "off the grid" with a wedding could be an option... Find a family member or friend with a big back yard. Rent a tent (for a "family party"), get catering (for a "backyard BBQ")... or even pot luck with your guests, order a cake, tell them it's for an anniversary party... flower arrangements for a "birthday party".... all little tweaks and adjustments, and you'll end up with a beautiful, intimate, backyard wedding with your closest friends and family... without breaking the bank!

I have been in your shoes and considered eloping. I did a lot of research and came across someone that could do our wedding all in for 5000$ for 60 people. this includes cake, hair/makeup (for bride), bouquet and boutineer (for bride and groom) photographer, commissioner, food and guitar player. Ofcourse things end up costing more once all is said and done. but there are ways of doing it!

maybe you could do a potluck? find a hotel for a small amount of people and go out there, there is also pop-up weddings that seem to be quite affordable as well.

best of luck with everything

I have had similar feelings as well. I think so far we are spending around 10k for everything. I didn't want to spend that much on our wedding but our parents our helping with what they can and we appreciate that so much. If they were not helping us I think I would be in the same boat as you. There are defiantly ways to save..you can do it! So far I am very pleased with the vendors we have, especially our photographer. If you would like her info please let me know and i can give you her info. She is very reasonable and great to work with. Good luck!

I am in the same boat as you!! As soon as you say "wedding" the cost for everything goes up about $3000. It stresses me out big time as we will be paying for the whole thing out selves.

We found a Vancouver company called Going to the Chapel that specializes in intimate weddings for 40 guests or less and elopements and they have a bunch of different all in packages ranging from 950 to 2500 depending on what you want.

We are doing a back yard wedding, and the thought of what catering will cost makes me a little batty! I get where you're coming from. These are things we are doing to keep the cost down;

- Only 20-25 people invited

- wedding ceremony will take place at a park, it will not be seated, it will be a quick event for whoever wants to witness, then we will pay a photographer for 2 hours

- we will rent a tent for our backyard. and i suppose some tables and chairs

- any drinks, appies, etc. we will pre-purchase and have the mother in laws look after

- catering will be our biggest cost.

My budget is 3000 to 5000 max. I totally agree, why should you spend tens of thousands (especially if you don't have it) on a single day... it won't make your marriage any happier!~ We are having 20 people, an outdoor ceremony, and then going to a restaurant for dinner. Expenses are low key.... the commissioner, chair rentals, our outfits, the restaurant, and a photographer for 2 hours. You can do it on a small budget!

I feel you. Everything that is for a wedding is crazy expensive. I found a really good deal for a small all inclusive package in Duncan. Its for I think 12 people though but would fit a nice little budget. Its an "elopement package" but with room for some guests. We originally were going to do that and have a party at a hall another day but my in-laws squashed that idea.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have the same feeling, but what I have started doing (and I'm sure some will have issues) is to ask friends and family to step up. Ask a friend to take over being the DJ(Spotify has plenty of wedding playlists and can get it ad free for very cheap) so there won't be a lot of work required other than making sure the music continues to play. As for photography see if you can ask a local photographer if they would be willing to just edit photos for you after the event that friends and family have taken of your special day, so you aren't spending money on the photographer physically being there (as we all know friend and family will be taking photos for sure) and this way you pick and choose your favorites and have them touched up to look professionally taken.

Hope this helps take some stress from you and lets you enjoy the planning a bit more.