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Jennifer
Frequent user January 2022 Ontario

Is the ring too big and other worries

Jennifer, on September 6, 2019 at 14:21 Posted in Before the wedding 0 30
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Let me start by saying I've waited a long time (10 years) to get engaged, we've always known we wanted to get married but money and timing was never right. Well last week I finally got engaged and I thought I'd be super pumped but so far I'm feeling very uncomfortable being the centre of attention. People's in person reactions are tripping me out. Seems like the bf, I mean fiancee Smiley smile went overboard on the ring r something and now I feel weird to post the engagement announcement or even telling people the news. Like I don't want to be bragging or a show off. Even here, I don't want this to come off as a humble brag. It's just we did really well at our business this year and we decided to celebrate our 10 year anniversary in Hawaii so he proposed there and my hand is really tiny so the ring looks bigger than it is. Pic included for your opinion. I thought I'd be so happy and excited to show it off!! Like I waited 10 years for this damn moment and now I just feel uncomfortable and anxious? Why!?

Any other brides out there feel uncomfortable telling people? How did you handle the social media aspect? Do you post a ring pic or not? How do you handle being the centre of attention at family events for the next little while?

30 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on May 11, 2020 at 17:10
  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Thanks for the reply! To update I took the advice here and shook off the judgement, it's our time and we worked hard for this and I've been enjoying showing it off. I hope you're managing to stay afloat in these crazy times. I can't even imagine how stressful this must be for all the ladies who were supposed to get married 馃槬鉂わ笍
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  • Aly
    Newbie August 2020 Quebec
    Aly
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    I know I'm late. I don't care. The ring is beautiful. This is your time. I hope you're showing it off and excited. It's hard to get past that lifelong conditioning of being humble, it's difficult not to concern yourself with the insecurities of your loved ones, it's tough not to worry that some people might think you care more about the ring than the impending marriage. This is your time. He bought it for you. You waited long enough and you both deserve to show it off.


    I hope you're doing okay during this insane moment in history. Smiley heart - Aly


    Edit - I just realized I already replied to this months ago but I can't seem to delete this now so oh well Smiley xd

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  • Nehita
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Nehita
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    I have a tiny finger I had a big ring my Center stone was 3 and I showed it off I don鈥檛 feel uncomfortable as it was giving to me out of love I am proud to show it off anytime any day any where .
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  • Seleena
    Super September 2019 British Columbia
    Seleena
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    What the heck, that is one of the prettiest ring shapes I have ever seen! Smiley love I would not be self conscious of that-show it off!! You have spent enough years together to show that baby off Smiley smile

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  • Amanda
    Frequent user October 2019 Ontario
    Amanda
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    Same girl!
    I dont bother showing it off when with people. If they notice they notice, if not then they dont.
    I've had people ask if it is costume jewellery cause it's big and I look young. The faces when I tell them it isnt is priceless! People will always find a reason to make a comment about something.

    Enjoy your moment!. Dont worry about others! Your ring is gorgeous and your man spent his hard earned money to give you something perfect!! well worth the 10 year wait!

    Soon you wont even realize it is big and when new people see it and tell you it's gorg, itll give you new excitement all over again!

    Is the ring too big and other worries 1
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Love this answer!! You are so right!! I'm getting more used to people asking to see it and the reactions now so it's fun again 馃榿
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley
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    Who cares!!!!!! post that ring girl!! f what other people think!!!! your fiance took a long time cuz he put sooo much thought effort and MONEY into it!! dont feel uncomfortable about it at ALL!! its your time to shine girl!!!

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  • Raposo-Teixeira
    Curious July 2020 Alberta
    Raposo-Teixeira
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    We have been together for 13 years when we got engaged so girl I totally understand...you DESERVE this moment and do not let anyone take this moment away from you. Show that beauty off. Its a symbol of your love and it is stunning.
    • Reply
  • Alie
    Frequent user September 2019 Ontario
    Alie
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    If the ring bothers you that much talk to your fiancee. Most jewelers have an exchange policy in place.
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca
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    Your ring is beautiful! I felt very self-conscious about my ring too (not too big, just very sparkly), but I eventually got used to it. Now just wait until you add a wedding band to it, you'll be self-conscious all over again (at least I was!).

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  • Aly
    Newbie August 2020 Quebec
    Aly
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    It鈥檚 absolutely stunning! My fianc茅 and I waited a week to make a Facebook post. I felt like I wanted to celebrate privately a bit, before the bombardment of congratulations and everybody having an opinion (even if it鈥檚 a good one). You鈥檙e perfectly entitled to that. And after 10 years, you absolutely deserve to brag!
    Congratulations!
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  • K
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Katrine
    • Dispute
    You could always announce your engagement without a picture of your ring if you鈥檙e uncomfortable. People will talk no matter what. They鈥檒l say it鈥檚 too small.. too big.. as long as you love it, that鈥檚 all that matters.
    • Reply
  • Candice
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Candice
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    First off, don鈥檛 be ashamed of your ring, it is beautiful and as long as you love it, that is all that matters.

    I was a little ashamed of mine as it is not a large ring, however it is larger than what I wanted but a perfect size for me.

    I feel like no matter the size of the ring, it is hard to decide what and how to post on social media. Honestly, my partner and I didn鈥檛 bother with the big announcement. We got engaged January 1st in Australia, and didn鈥檛 tell anyone until we got home mid April because we didn鈥檛 want everyone to bug us with all the questions while we were away. We told everyone we wanted to in person and in May my fianc茅 posted a gif he made of a toilet stall lock that went from 鈥渧acant鈥 to 鈥渆ngaged鈥, no comment, no hashtag just tagged me in it. If it wasn鈥檛 for us changing our Facebook status a month later, I am sure some people still would know.

    We we still haven鈥檛 posted much, but we are less worried about hiding the ring in photos now that it is out there.

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  • Olivia
    Newbie September 2020 Ontario
    Olivia
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    I did feel this way too ! I kept it to myself unless someone noticed lol my ring is pretty big too ... i had all the jokes I still get them and Ive been engaged for over a year now my favourite comment was 鈥渙mg you will need physiotherapy for your hand girl 鈥
    i just laugh
    i got the ring that i wanted to me thats all that matters

    Is the ring too big and other worries 2
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  • Rachael
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Rachael
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    Like others have said, you deserve to be happy! If your bling is huge, all the power to you! Others shouldn't be making you feel guilty about it, especially if they're aware your business has had a strong year. (Even if they aren't aware, it's none of their damn business!)

    It's a stunning ring, by the way! You pull it off well.

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn
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    Yeah you deserve to be happy just because you waited for something nice and they didn't doesn't mean that you dont get to be happy. Sucks to be them.
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Honestly I love this community! Thanks to all the wonderful ladies who weighed in here. I feel much better about the whole thing. You all made me realize I have to try to enjoy this moment and damn what everyone else thinks. It's my ring, I love it and if someone has a bad reaction that's not my problem.

    I still have to do a post cause I have family all over the world who gets updated through FB but first I can chill, there's no rush. I can take some time to get comfortable with it before I put it all out there.
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    I totally feel you, that's part of my thing too. Most of the girls in my circles pushed for a ring asap so most of my family, friends, FSIL (who just got her ring a year ago and often says she hates it), ended up with something minimalist or small. I've been feeling kind of uncomfortable showing mine off but I guess you're right it's probably just my own insecurities. I just gotta brush it off.
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way 馃
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Thanks for this, really made me realize I should care less what everyone else thinks!
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn
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    Sometimes when I show my ring to my FH's friends or family in particular I feel like I'm bragging with my ring. I feel like it's quite extravagant and most of his family and friends that are married or engaged have very minimalistic rings. I still love it and think it's perfect but it is a little awkward sometimes. It's probably my own insecurity.
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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma
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    I DEFINITELY felt this way!! I'm so glad to hear someone else putting it into words. I had a hard time telling people, not because I wasn't thrilled, I just have a hard time with the attention and not feeling braggy. Even still, mentioning wedding planning I am very conscious who I talk to and try to limit the amount. I really hope I can get over the wallflower thing before the big day!

    I wish I had some advice for you, it has definitely gotten easier and more natural feeling after a few weeks. Your ring is beautiful by the way!!
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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne
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    Don't let it stress you out. The ring is beautiful. I'm sorry some people are having a negative reaction. Big ring or small ring as long you and FH are happy everyone should just be happy for you! You'll never please everyone as they say.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori
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    First of all - CONGRATS, and your ring is gorgeous and if people don't have something nice to say they should learn to keep their mouths shut. Like the others said; you deserve to treat yourselves to a vacation and a nice ring!

    When I posted about my engagement I only got a few side comments like that where it was a "congrats" but with a side of "why? you're too young to know what love is"... Just have to move past the haters!

    I also didn't post a ring pic but I did post a pic of us on our engagement night and have posted pictures where I am wearing my ring. I have posted here on WW a close up of my ring but just not on social media. I know my ring is flawed because it's customized and it just felt weird to post a pic of my hand when my fingers are so chubby Smiley tongue

    I usually handle being the centre of attention well because I love being in it - but when rude comments are made I'm very blunt and tell them what's what and how I would never say such a thing to them.

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  • Jennifer
    Curious September 2019 Alberta
    Jennifer
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    That ring is gorgeous girl! Such a beautiful shape!! After 10 years together, you deserve to be spoiled, and anyone saying that it's too much is peanut butter and jealous.

    Also it is definitely an adjustment having people always be focused on you in the lead up to the wedding. I am a bit of a socially awkward hermit, so having people that I barely know ask about my hair, my dress, etc is just SO weird and uncomfortable for me. I found that just trying to stay positive and cheerful about things and remembering that weddings are exciting for everyone involved, not just the bride and groom, helps me avoid hiding in the basement at any and all gatherings.

    As far as social media goes, we definitely posted an announcement and a photo, but it was a farther out shot of the two of us, so the ring wasn't quite as front and center.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey
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    First of all your ring is beautiful! don't ever feel bad for showing it off.

    I have the same feelings with my ring. I have little hands so it looks huge. Especially in my line of work, I feel bad wearing it, but depending on the person I will turn it in. Other than that, I show that thing off!

    I did post a ring picture on social media once we told all our close family, and it still seems weird calling him my Fiance, I think saying Husband will come much easier to me. lol.

    It will take some time getting used to it all

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  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya
    • Dispute

    You are a lucky woman Smiley smile that ring is gorgeous! and you deserve it! after 10 years of being together you're finally getting married and he spoiled you! thats awesome Smiley smile I was a little nervous/awkward sharing my news with certain people as well, or showing off my ring to some people because I also got a huge ring, and I have smaller hands so it looks even bigger. but hey, he's your man and you're getting married and you're not bragging, its just your time to shine! embrace it because you'll be married soon and the fiance phase will be gone and I wish I wasn't so worried about what other people thought while I was engaged.. I would have done things differently but it will take some getting used too. everyone around you will be excited, they aren't going to judge you for having a beautiful ring, if anything they might be jealous Smiley winking

    congrats tho!!

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie
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    It鈥檚 definitely a different transition. I鈥檝e been engaged for almost a year and I rarely refer to my FH as fianc茅. So I get how you鈥檙e feeling.

    I did post a picture with my FH to announce our engagement but after we had told everyone we needed to by phone and FaceTime.

    I actually didn鈥檛 go out of my way to tell anyone, like I wore my ring for a week before I even told my boss (had to give him a heads up so I can take some time off next year!!). It honestly takes some time to get used to.

    for now, enjoy the moment!! go at your pace!
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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user January 2022 Ontario
    Jennifer
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    Here's a pic of the ring. I've seen way nicer and bigger (some on this site) so I didn't think it was crazy big but some people's reactions are going on as it's so extravagant. I just hate people making a fuss over me and I thought I'd be more excited, I don't even know why this is stressing me out so much!

    Is the ring too big and other worries 3
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