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Jenny
Frequent user September 2022 Ontario

Is it rude to ask the bride/groom if they’re inviting someone?

Jenny, on January 19, 2022 at 01:05 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 13
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Not sure where to post this but basically my cousin and his bride to be decided to book their wedding exactly two weeks before mine this year. I’m not sure who they’re inviting so this is definitely a hypothetical at this point, but if they invite me I may need to ask if they’re also inviting my brother whom I’m no contact with (due to things he did to me in my childhood; my extended family is not aware of the extent of what he did to me). Would it be rude to ask if he’s invited? Obviously I’m only going to ask if they invite me but I’m up late tonight and am wondering if this would be rude to ask them.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Stacey Tc, on January 30, 2022 at 17:40
  • Stacey Tc
    Devoted August 2022 Saskatchewan
    Stacey Tc ·
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    Not your place to try to "smooth things over", and a completely inappropriate comment.


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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Coincidence, yet concerning at the same time of the situation. It would be safe though if they did invite him and does show up for their wedding, it would be okay if you both didn't even say anything to be on the safe side for the day. You can choose to not go as you wish because of the fact your brother is what he is. Another way to still be present for your cousins wedding and show your support can be to let him know you wish to leave early after dinner as they would understand.

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  • BreddGar
    Curious March 2023 Greater London
    BreddGar ·
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    Oh, excuse me. I just didn't know he was guilty to that extent. It was in childhood, maybe he regrets it now?

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  • Jenny
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Jenny ·
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    Thank-you all for your advice! I’ll definitely ask my cousin if he’s invited if we get invited to my cousin’s wedding
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  • Jenny
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Jenny ·
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    Nah I’m good, thanks. I’m not letting a known child molester near my kids.
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  • BreddGar
    Curious March 2023 Greater London
    BreddGar ·
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    I think that such a coincidence of the date of your wedding with your brother is a gift from God. To reconcile with your brother. Use this chance. I think that your brother also wants to participate in your wedding. Send him an invite.

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  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Oh I would definitely ask. As everyone mentioned, it’s good for your peace of mind and safety. Also, sorry for the trauma that you’ve been through. 💕💕
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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    You can definitely ask and not have to tell why. You can just say it's curiosity if they ask.
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  • KELLY
    Featured October 2023 Ontario
    KELLY ·
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    I agree with everyone else, its for your comfort, safety and peace of mind- ASK!!

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  • Stacey Tc
    Devoted August 2022 Saskatchewan
    Stacey Tc ·
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    100% agree. Given the reason, you're very justified in asking.
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    I don't think it's rude to ask. If I wanted to know of a certain person was going to be there, I would ask as well.
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  • Malyssa
    Featured October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa ·
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    I agree with Hank, given your situation, I think its completely fair to ask. As someone who cut out an abusive family member years ago, I understand your concern and hope you can have an easy conversation with your cousin as I know it can be tough to talk about that stuff. Smiley heart

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    It is definitely not rude to ask if they invited someone, especially given the context of someone who has inflicted trauma on you.

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