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Curious May 2022 Ontario

Invites sent, Rsvps coming in and it’s setting in again that 90% of the guests with my fiancés invites

Sascha, on February 23, 2022 at 13:20 Posted in Wedding reception 1 4

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This has been an ongoing dilemma as the way my family and friends are set up I always just pictured myself doing a lavish elopement and honey moon.

My fiancé wanted more of a reception, with his parents and friends there. I voiced to him how uncomfortable I would be in this setting since it will be mostly his invites and friends and I will end up feeling like a guest at my own wedding. He always reassured me so I compromised and even with our smaller guest count of approximately 50-55 people they are mostly his invites.
I asked this in a forum before and people said “look at it as people are there just to celebrate the both of you”. That’s really not that easy.
We sent out electronic invites and it allows you to see when they’re opened. Many of my moms extended family and a few closer friends who I invited have opened it but no one has rsvp’d.
Unfortunately, I am taking it personal and I am very uncomfortable and it’s making me really uneasy about the wedding reception…
And the thought of then having to reach out and ask my small number invites if they’re actually coming and is making me feel even worse.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Hailey, on February 23, 2022 at 16:41

Expert June 2022 British Columbia
Hailey · On February 23, 2022 at 16:41
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I can see how this would be uneasy... have you passed the rsvp date yet? I sent our invites out and thought they would gave rsvp already and know everyone got them as ive had 5 people rsvp already. makes me worry however I do know people wait till closer to the day to rsvp.
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Expert October 2022 Alberta
Malyssa · On February 23, 2022 at 14:01
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Im sorry you are still feeling this way. I hope when the day comes, you will have an enjoyable day.
Couple of question:
1. Are you close with any of his friends?? (I only ask this as I don't have too many of my "own" friends or family I am inviting, majority is my FH, BUT I am also pretty close with most of his friends, so its more like OUR friends) sorry if this was discussed already
2. When was your RSVP deadline? Its possible some people may still be unsure with the ol COVID stuff still in the air (and Im not too sure of ON policy, but I know they have been stricter than AB) but maybe you send a follow up message to everyone, even tho you know its just a handle you are still waiting for. This way it won't feel like you are singling out these people for not responding or
3. Maybe you can get your FH to help with some of these message, since its clearly making you uncomfortable and that is not the point of this day.
I know we may not have the answer for you, as most people see this as a very exciting day, BUT that is not everyone, and again, I am sorry you are feeling this way. MAYBE talking to a counselor or something could maybe help ease your mind on our anxiety. Provide some grounding techniques to get through the day. overall and ****% your mental health always comes first, regardless of what "day" it is.
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Master September 2021 Ontario
Hank · On February 23, 2022 at 13:44
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smaller guest count of approximately 50-55 people they are mostly his invites.
Are they exclusively his invites? If his friends are also your friends, then they're really there to celebrate both of you. Even if they're not your friends, this is a chance to let them become your friends since you're joining a union with your future husband.
We sent out electronic invites and it allows you to see when they’re opened. Many of my moms extended family and a few closer friends who I invited have opened it but no one has rsvp’d.
Have you passed the RSVP date? Because a lot of people are procrastinators. For whatever reason, people are just wired to do things at the last possible second.
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