Intimate wedding- Guest List

We wanted max 50 people, so we invited closest family and best of friends. No kids, no cousins (with a few exceptions. Like on my moms side, my 3 cousins are her only family, and on my FH, his moms side is very small, only an aunt, uncle and 2 cousins that are our age and close to us.) His dad's side is larger, so we are only inviting his aunts and uncles. My dad's side. Well it's tough, if I invite 1, I have to invite them all, but we are not that close. I decided that I would probably not invite any of my dad's family. I want as much as possible to only have people who really care about us. I haven't told my dad yet, so I am unsure how that will go down.

Wr started with over 100 guests and then the cost per person. Then it was decided that people had to be cut since we could go only 75 to fit our budget of the venue. We did cut some friends off and kept family and really close friends.

We're having 32 (including us and our 2 kids). We are only having immediate family - no friends. That kept it simple in our minds and feels more intimate to us. Luckily we haven't had any push back or drama about it - everyone has been very understanding.

View quoted message Hi Genevieve,

Aww, I hear what you're saying. I see this beautiful venue here in Toronto that basically does everything for you and it's just stunning. But they don't accommodate over 30. Its so tempting. I put a deposit on another place and me and fiancè regret it. We are thinking about walking away from them. It's just too much for us!!

View quoted message Hey Tori, thank you so much for your input! Much appreciated. Wedding guest lists are tough. Sigh!

We decided on a small guest list and booked a venue with a max list allowance of 32 people. We'd like to stick to 25 though due to costs. The main way we narrowed down our guest list was inviting:

1) someone we thought was integral to the big day

2) drama-free people

3) someone we have seen often in the past year that we want there

4) no plus-ones unless we know the partner

How we've handled it so far is explained that the venue is really small and for our relatives that didn't make the cut, we explained why (usually cause we're not close) and mentioned our 1 aunt/uncle per side rule when our parents got a bit testy. You'll still deal with people generously offering their opinion (I know we sure have!) but a long as you're firm and remind them that it's your day (and you're the one paying), they can't say too much.

Although I am not having an intimate wedding - there was a time where I made a must have list for if we did. Depending on how big your family is I would first of all cut out all kids if you want to and can.

Then I listed: me, him, mom, dad, sister, his mom, his dad, his step-dad, his half-sister, my baba, his nana, his amma, my 1 uncle for me, 2 aunts for me, 3 uncles for him, 3 aunts for him.

Basically keep it to immediate family: parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts + uncles - and then if there is room add your 1st cousins or the cousins that you see the most.

For dealing with family upset - which I have had to do and will have to do as soon as the invitations are sent out (nobody under 18 allowed at our wedding as that's the legal drinking age) there will be family either saying that they aren't coming or don't understand why their "3 kids aren't invited? There's only 3 of them!".... They have 3, but so does she, and he has 2, and she has 3 as well.... it adds up.

I will be trying to reason with them that there simply isn't the room for them and if it was a budget thing then we would be able to work around it and diy a lot of stuff to bring down the cost but it's not. I will also very snidely tell them that if they aren't able to leave their kids at home that I understand that they MUST not be able to find a babysitter for their pre-teen children....

I can't remember who said it when I asked how to cut down on my wedding list but they said "It's your wedding, not a family reunion." and I love that.