In tears and need advice

Wow! I would lose my ever loving mind!! You poor soul. I would honestly tell them they’re dropped out of the bridal party. This is YOUR day. They can survive a little heat.. especially for your pictures. I just can’t get over how entitled they’re being. I wish you luck him! I say drop them. You are supposed to surround yourself with people who genuinely care and take the stress off, not the opposite.

I honestly say truly and id someone did that to me, since you are busy with your things, please come as a guest and you are relieved from your position. In all fairness, you dont need your wedding party refusing whats needs done and when its to be done. Keep it simple to yoy and your husband at the alter.

Don't melt down or cry, they have no respect for you in any manner and its tougher over time. You are strong and have managed well. Keep it going and return the cufflinks and suits if you need to.

Hope you feel better and if your wedding party is still with you, great. If not, they are free to wear anything and less stress.

I agree on with Joey's advice! It's your day! Stand strong. If they don't like it then they can step down. That simple. To me these friends that have helped you when your bridal party wouldnt are the ones that should be standing beside you!

I'm so sorry, don't cry. I would tell them that if they want to stand up with you at the ceremony they need to wear the outfit you chose, or they can attend as guests. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but wearing the chosen outfit and participating in the ceremony is really the one and only task of the wedding party. If you like, you can let them know that they can change during the reception after the ceremony and pictures are done. While it is reasonable that they had their own plans and may not have been available for some of the pre-wedding things you would have liked to do with them, wearing t-shirts to participate in your wedding is not at all a reasonable ask for them to make. Is it possible there is a financial concern causing them to make this request? Or is it really that they just don't feel like wearing ties?

I hope you and your future husband stand strong, stay calm, and get their support.

I would simply tell them that it is a formal event and they have to dress accordingly. You can tell them that everyone else will also be dressed up and just as uncomfortable.

Yeah I am in disbelieve. Ironically my weekends are spent in hair in a pony tail, running shoes and lululemon and no make up. However if I was standing in a wedding I would not ask if I could wear sneakers and tank top as I would be more comfortable.

My fiancé who is opposite to me always calm, nothing ever bothers him, even keel happy go lucky always zen I showed him the text as he quite honestly thought I was making it up.

He is very casual open, does not wear brand name anything he said "you are joking" I said I wish I was he said I don't believe it let me see the message.

Then without saying it verbatim he said you grew up in the country in the middle of nowhere if we wanted a low key casual wedding in your parents back yard on a farm we would be in shorts, shirt and sandals. I am wearing a 3 piece very expensive (which is unlike him but he is the groom and splurging on a custom suit) and dress shoes. If they wore flip flops and shorts that would look very odd. This is a formal wedding they should know this it has been communicated to them since day one. Why are they so negative and try to pull you down. Even the wedding guests will not be wearing shorts. They are professional men if they would not wear it to work on a Tuesday why would they wear this to our wedding? Which he has a good point.

How would you respond to someone saying we do not want to wear pants, tie, cufflinks or shoes. It will be 25C we want to to wear sandals and shorts in the wedding party. I am actually at a loss for words.

OMG, how awful!!!!!! I'm so so sorry that you are going through this!!! You poor thing! Honestly, it sounds like they're being pretty crappy... What does your fiancé think about all of this?
You know these people best, and it seems like they're really letting you down. Do you find that this is new behaviour or have they always been this unreliable?