Good friends of myself and my husband just told us they are engaged and they want to get married at the end of April (yes, THIS April!) and asked me to be MOH and my husband to be the best man. They explained to us that it would be very low key. They would be going to city hall for their ceremony and then a small dinner with us and a few close friends and family members after. This is cutting it close to the wire but perfectly doable so my husband and I were happy to help. We are having our first child mid to late May so we're also trying to get ready for that but with the wedding being pretty cut and dry, we weren't stressed about it.
Well, literally two days later they had changed their minds and now want to plan a full blown traditional wedding for 50-100+ guests for the same date in April (exact date and guest list still to be determined 😕).
The bride and groom are looking to my husband and I for a lot of pointers as we planned and decorated our entire wedding ourselves a few years ago so we're getting a lot of questions but they're hard to give the right answer when we don't know exactly what it is they want to do. Just within a couple days the venue, guest list, outfits, colours, theme etc changed completely so it's confusing. I was even told by my husband the other day that they're thinking of making the wedding a two day event but they only relayed this info to him and not the rest of the wedding party.
The bride has a...flair for the dramatic and becomes very easily overwhelmed. I spent several hours trying to calm her down about what colour underwear she should wear on the day she tries on dresses. It's a bit ridiculous and I really think with as little time as they have to make this happen, details like this shouldn't be focused on so much.
I took her to try on wedding dresses, which, again, became too overwhelming for her very quickly. The sales lady picked out some silhouettes for her and with each dress we would talk about what we liked about it or if there was something she didn't like I would make suggestions. But I was called unhelpful several times. Short of choosing her dress, I really don't know how else I could have helped. I made suggestions or asked what tasks I can do but I still get told I'm not being helpful enough.
I've never been in a wedding party, let alone a MOH but as someone who is married, I still feel like the final decisions and planning should be the responsibility of the bride and groom.
My husband and I along with majority of the rest of the wedding party (we have 4 on each side now) went for a wedding party meeting at the bride and groom's place to discuss the plan but the bride said it was too stressful to talk about so we spent 3 hours there and did not mention the wedding at all. She ended up texting me on our drive home to talk to me about bridesmaid dresses which would have been easier to discuss in person.
One question I do have though is should I be planning a bridal shower? I'm trying to get a bachelorette party together but because of the short notice and limited funds I'm not sure if I can also swing a shower.
As a bride, what do you expect from your MOH? Or if you're a MOH what do you feel your responsibilities are? I want to help as much as I can but I also feel under a lot of pressure with time constraints, lack of communication, very little time to budget and being 7 months pregnant 😞
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Emilie I got married in - 0000 Quebec
