Hi everyone,
I am working on my thank you cards and I'm having some trouble coming up with what to write to certain people and wondering if anyone can help...
1st Scenario: My mother and step-father
Throughout planning the whole wedding, we made it clear that we were planning the wedding and whoever wanted to help can offer if they so wish. My dad and stepmother helped out and threw me a bridal shower. My MIL paid for the rehearsal dinner and contributed to our honeymoon.
She paid $1000 towards my dress and I paid the rest, but she also, in not so many words, called me fat in my dream dress pre-diet. She also threw a bridal shower for me that was to only include her side and only my husband's mother and step-mother. The shower itself was fun, but I could tell it was basically a party for her. Side note: She paid for my older sibling's wedding.
A couple days before the wedding, I asked if she would come to my hotel room and help me get ready. She agreed. On the day of, she didn't show. If I had known she would not have showed, I would have asked my stepmother who would have jumped at the chance!
I had also asked my stepfather to walk me down the aisle with my dad, and he declined saying it was something my dad should do alone. This may have to do with the fact that my older sibling cut our dad out of her wedding and chose money offered from my mother in exchange for my mother and stepfather walking her down the aisle. P.S. My older sibling has cut me out of her life because I was getting married and our dad would be there and needless to say, she did not RSVP nor come to my wedding.
My husband and his brother, who was his witness, both walked with their mother down the aisle. So I asked if my mother and stepfather would like to walk in front of me and my dad. They declined.
When I was walking up the aisle, my stepfather appeared to be looking in our direction, but when we got closer I could tell he was looking through us.
As the night progressed, I could tell that my mother was being fake the whole night. I kept asking her if she was having a good time, but I could tell she was lying. My stepfather tried to leave without saying goodbye! My husband stopped him before he could escape.
So after all of that, how do I even begin a thank you card?! All I have is "thank you so much for the generous gift". I haven't even wanted to visit or bring them their portrait because I have so many feelings. I just want to avoid them at all cost. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of their behaviour on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. So if anyone has any ideas regarding how to thank these kinds of parents, that would be greatly appreciated.
Scenario #2: Step-grandparents
We had invited my stepmother's parents, but her mother became ill 3 months before the wedding, so they had to decline their attendance. They sent a gift, which was very thoughtful, but her mother passed away this past August.
I am not sure how to write the thank you except thanking them for their gift and how we wished they were at the wedding. But how do I write it now that one of them has passed away? How do I address the Thank you card i.e. Mr X, Mr & Mrs X, X & Y, or X? Is mentioning how much we will miss her appropriate?
Scenario #3: Vendors
What is the etiquette for thanking vendors? Are they required? All of them get raving reviews from us except the candy buffet. They said they would have a sign that said "will open after dinner", but no such sign was there and the guests attacked it after the ceremony.
