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Joey
WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland

How many people did you date before you found "The One"?

Joey, on September 11, 2019 at 08:05 Posted in Before the wedding 0 19

Was your future spouse your first sweetheart, or did you kiss a lot of frogs before you found your prince or princess?

How many people did you date before you found "The One"? 1

Photo by Northwood Rings in Mahone Bay



19 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on September 13, 2019 at 15:07
  • Amanda
    Expert July 2022 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    This made me laugh and remember my past !
    There were MANY frogs before I found my forever. That being said, I only truly loved 2 Men before my Fiance. My Fiance was my 3rd love, and my only truest love.

    I read an article the other day that couldn't have said it better :


    Our first love is said to happen while we are young.

    For example, high school type young. You are young and don't know much about love, apart from what you've deciphered in the movies. You know that there are feelings, fights, and bedroom activities, but apart from that, you aren't really sure what love is all about.

    This is the naive kind of love, the impractical, movie-esque type of love. It's what you think is right by the standards you know from movies and the standards you know from society. We begin this love with the belief that this will be our only love, and we begin planning a future in our minds around that notion.And it doesn’t matter if in your heart it doesn’t feel quite right, or if you are planning a future you can't truly imagine yourself, because, in our make-believe minds, we see that this is what love is supposed to be like.

    To us, with this kind of love, how others perceive us and what they see of the relationship is more important to us than how we actually feel about it. With this love, you will find yourself posting constantly about how much fun you are having with one another. You will post about eating mediocre dinner and watching a show as the most amazing time of your life. This is because you need others to view your relationship as magical and perfect.

    Your second love is said to be our hard love.

    It's the love that teaches us lessons about who we are, what we want from relationships and the kind of love we truly want.

    Unfortunately, this love is not so much a happy one. This love hurts and brings you pain, oftentimes from the little untruths and other times through manipulation, usually the emotional kind. The second love is usually unbalanced and unhealthy and can be selfish and narcissistic. Due to these facts, there is almost always drama, and you become trained to think that it is your fault.

    You feel guilty for always being around them, even though you know that this is what you need. Being continuously around them can still not give you what you want to feel, and you believe that you are not loved enough because they are not giving you the kind of love you are looking for. Yet, instead of giving up on the relationship, you hang on, thinking that one day suddenly everything will change and they will realize how desperately they love you.

    This emotional swing of extreme highs and lows is exactly what keeps us addicted to this kind of unhealthy relationship. We push through the lows, no matter how bad they are, to get a slight tingling feeling from those wonderful highs.

    With the second love, pushing to make it work becomes more imperative than whether it actually should.


    Our third love is said to be the love we don't see coming.

    This is the love that we never considered in the past. It's different and new, we've never dated this kind of person before. The third love is the kind that comes too easy, and it doesn’t seem possible. You think that it won't last, you are bound to stumble on something that will create a bump in the road. At times, it occurs right after a major heartbreak, and you're thinking that the same thing will happen again because, in your past, it has.

    At first, you can't explain the connection. What is it about this person that draws you to them so much? Here, we meet someone and, surprisingly enough, it just fits. There is no difficult compromises, no pushing and shoving. You both seem to work out together, and somehow the way you live your life flows well with the way they live theirs.

    And that's what makes your two lives come together into one. Your life together is exactly how you wanted love to be. The third love is easy, you both work hard to keep it going, to keep your relationship and your love as magnificent as it already is. And with both of you putting in the work, you don't feel like you are the only one pulling the carriage like you felt in your second love.

    Sometimes it is 50/50, and other times it is 20/80. They love you enough to carry you on your bad days, and you love them enough to support them on their rough ones. You don't feel the need to constantly advertise your happiness. And, you know what? Sometimes, you're not happy. Sometimes, they are not happy. But that doesn't mean that it is the end of the relationship. You come together with your unhappiness and try to solve it. You sit together and you talk, yell, sing, draw, what have you, and you solve whatever problem comes around.

    Because that's what love is, it's making things work because you love one another and want to be together.

    This is the kind of love that reveals to us why everyone else left the picture.


    I couldn't be happier with who I choose to spend the rest of my life with!

    If you have never read that article I hope you guys enjoy it! Smiley winking

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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I had quite a few relationships, but really only two very serious ones. The first time my fiance and I met we were both seeing other people (disastrous relationships for both of us). We both knew pretty much instantly when we reconnected that we were The One for each other.

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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
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    I’d had three serious relationships but a much larger number of relationships that were <1 month. I am my fiancé’s first girlfriend
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I definitely dated a lot of people, but serious relationships? Like, 2. When I started dating my DH at 21 that was just it lol.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I had a few relationships before finding my FH. 2 were more casual and in high school, the other 1 was more serious, but things rapidly started falling apart around the time I just so happened to meet my FH.

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  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·
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    I'm so happy for everyone on here who found their person right away.. I did not. I had two "serious" boyfriends but I also casually dated a few other guys, trying to figure out what I liked and didnt like.. and then BAM right when I decided to be done casual dating he popped up and now we are married.

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  • Alix
    Expert June 2021 Saskatchewan
    Alix ·
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    My fiance is my first serious relationship. I had been on a couple of dates before and only kissed one other guy (who turned out not to be a nice guy at all). Then a few months after that guy I met my FH and could tell right away there was something about him. It took almost a year before we started hanging out. But after we started dating it only took 11 months till we were engaged.

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I dated a few people in high school, casually dated two guys in my first year of university and then my FH and I got together at the beginning of 2nd year! I have basically been with him my whole adult life, so nothing really serious before him.
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  • Miav
    Devoted September 2020 Alberta
    Miav ·
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    Had 2 boyfriends before meeting the one! Smiley heart

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  • Andrea
    Devoted January 2021 Ontario
    Andrea ·
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    I didn't go on many "dates" and I only had one semi-serious VERY CRAPPY "boyfriend" before my FH. He was god awful. Only dated him for 8 months. I wish I could get those 8 months back. But everything happened for a reason.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    I honestly didn't date a lot. I dated one guy in university for maybe 4 months, and then another one for about 7 months. Then I met my FH shortly after the last relationship ended and it was way more serious than the previous ones. He gave me a promise ring after 6 months, so I knew he was the one !

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  • Marissa
    Expert August 2019 Ontario
    Marissa ·
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    My husband was my first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, first serious relationship. I was 21 when we met, and we've been together 8 years.
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  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
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    My FH was my first real serious relationship. I'd gone on some dates with other guys but nothing that panned out or was what i was looking for. As soon as I met FH I saw that things would eb different with him Smiley catface

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  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
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    I had one “boyfriend” when i was 15 for 4 months. definitely wasn’t serious! and then I met “the one” at 17! He was 19, and even though we were both young, we knew! Next Thursday will be our 9 year anniversary, and we get married in just under 9 months!
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    First Sweetheart Smiley heart

    I didn't date in HS because.. well... HS boys are ew Smiley tongue And we met when I was 19 so it was one and done for me!

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I had 2 serious relationships prior to meeting my FH. I lived with one of my exes which was a downright, horrible experience . If I could have lived with my current FH before the wedding, I would've jumped on it. However, my FH comes from a Catholic family and living together before is a no no.

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  • Steph
    Expert June 2022 Ontario
    Steph ·
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    Before meeting my fiancé, I had 2 boyfriends in university, 1 or 2 in high school, and dozens of dates. But my fiancé was well worth the wait ! I just wish we had met younger ❤
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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    I had a long term relationship for 5 years and then few small ones before finding the one !

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    I had about 4 or 5 boyfriends in high school. 2 girlfriends during and after high school. I had a could very short flings. And was engaged to another man that I was with for a few years. Then I met my guy. The feeling with him is miles different than any other relationship.
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