How do you deal with wedding church rules

Unfortunately the church isn't there for the aesthetic purpose of your wedding. Getting married in the church is about the ceremony and sacrament of marriage. So I can see where the priest wants that to me the main focus. But I agree with the others if that doesn't work for you , you will have to look around and find a church who does! I struggled as well, wanting to get married in a Catholic church but I also needed to get married on a Sunday as I had alot of out of town guests. I was able to find and Orthodox priest who agreed to come to our location and marry us on the Sunday. So it worked out for us. I'm sure you'll find what works for You!

Different churches have different rules. If you grew up in, and follow, a particular church tradition, chances are, their rules will be similar or close to the things you value. But if you try to have your wedding at a church at which you are not a regular member you may find more challenges in being on the same page with the church priest/pastor and staff.

I know church is important to your family but it's YOUR wedding not theirs. I refuse to have a church wedding because of all the stupid rules they have.

We're getting married outdoors in the Rocky Mountains, even tho I can appreciate a church wedding because I was raised to value the church and my religion.. and I do. So I understand the significance of getting married in a church and keeping tradition. But I hear sooo many couples having setbacks with church rules.. it seems as tho majority of churches have very specific rules for weddings. If you don't mind me asking, what church are you getting married in? I was raised in a united church setting and from my experience, they seem to be extremely flexible, specially compared to other churches. Would you be open to that??? have you tried a church, but different denomination of religion?? Would your family be open to that?

I had the same issue, even told me I should try to find a "modest" dress. I am meeting with church coordinator when she gets back from vacation and meeting with a different church I want to get married in(less rules). My mom will be coming to both meetings because she is the religious one. I think as long as the church does not try to tell you what you can or cannot wear than I would get married there. It is one day of your life and I have learnt that what is most important is being able to get married to your a spouse in a place that all friends and family can attend.

Beautiful words, thank you! I'm sure later in life i'll appreciate my choice. All the best to you as well

View quoted message

It's unfortunate that you feel "stuck", but maybe you'll feel better knowing that the traditions are important to your family and you may eventually see them as important too. The emphasis in your mind should be on "how can I make this marriage fantastic" instead of "I don't have any freedom to plan my own wedding". Look forward. The ceremony is only a small part of the commitment. All the best to you and your FH.

View quoted message

It is a special church and religious ceremony is an important part. Im stuck.

You never mentioned if this particular church is important to your family, or if a religious wedding is what's important. There are officiants who will come to the venue of your choice and conduct a religious (or non-religious) ceremony. That might be an option which will satisfy everyone.

I agree with Daphne on this as some churches may have less stricter rules. We wanted a church wedding ourselves and were given the same rules you have been given. We had to change venues not because of rules, but I'm happy as in the end we are getting what we want. Make sure you and your husband are happy in terms of where and what you would like for your ceremony.

That is one of the main reason why we went with an outdoor wedding @ a church instead of all the rules they impose on someone.

That is a good idea Thank you!!

Unfortunately, if the church has rules, you need to follow them. You could try going to visit other churches and see if their rules work better with your vision.