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Rayanne
Master June 2022 Ontario

Honouring loved ones at wedding

Rayanne, on August 3, 2021 at 12:41 Posted in WeddingWire 0 13
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This weekend has been particularly hard for my family. On Saturday we lost my future MIL. Of course all parts of our lives have changed but we know on our wedding day her absence will be felt. We are saddened that had covid not come around we would have been married and she would have been there on our wedding. We'd have the family pictures. My FH is an only child so we wanted very much for her to see him in his tux, be there for everything. We are happy that we did everything backwards and for 8 years she had the chance to be a Giagia (greek for grandma).



So I guess my question is what ways can we bring part of her with us throughout the day. I can have a picture put on my bouquet but what about men? What litte things can have have with them to honour loved ones that have passed.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Joey, on August 5, 2021 at 15:47
  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    I'm so sorry for you and your partner's loss Smiley heart

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I think we will have a picture and a candle but it can only be an LED we can have it lit before we get there. I do like the idea of having a picture with him. Maybe I can find something that can be engraved and give it to him on wedding day.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Michelle had a great concept that your FH can get a boutonniere memorial lapel pin to wear on his suit. It can be an idea that is kept with the wedding keepsake after for memories or at home hanging as an ornament with her name and date as memory to you both. Another way a parent has been shown present in spirit is by placing a candle in front of the picture as you make your entrance, you can go to the candle to light it and make their presence shown to be with you and everyone that was close to her. My cousin had lost her dad years back who got married 6 years ago and had his picture placed on the bouquet as you suggested for memory of him being present with her on her day.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    His mom had mobility issues we were not doing any family dances. However I could ask him what her favourite song was and we can have it played at some point at the reception. I'll look for the boutineers frames. Thank you
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  • Michelle
    Expert October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Michelle ·
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    I've seen small portraits incorporated into a boutonnière which I think is really sweet.

    Reserving a seat at the ceremony with her photo on it could be nice too, and if your FH had been planning a mother son dance you could still play the song they would have danced to.

    We're personally going to have photos displayed of family members on some of the pillars at our reception venue.

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  • H
    Master September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Perhaps something like a scarf can be repurposed into a pocket square. Would literally represent something of hers being close to his heart on the day of.

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  • Jenn
    Devoted August 2025 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    Thank you - I am so sorry for your loss as well

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I'm sorry for your losses. The cuff links would be good to look into as well.
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  • Jenn
    Devoted August 2025 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    I was going to suggest some things similar to Samantha. Another thing you can look into is maybe cufflinks with your MIL initials or fav. flower?

    Since being engaged, and all the postponements (some due to layoffs and some due to covid), we have lost two members of our bridal party (1 to cancer and one to suicide in peak covid, both were to be groomsmen), so we are looking into cufflinks for guys that represent an aspect of the two people we have lost, plus a few other small things....We are even contemplating keeping a seat or two open at the head table to save their places

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I was at future MIL's apartment the night before helping with some cleaning. She was a little upset to admit she needed a little help. I will always have a beautiful memory of telling her how much we all love her and that we are never to busy to help. She was smiling and told me I'm a good person. Sometime during that night she got up, fell (who knows what for) and never got up. I feel terrible that my last memory is so much better than my FH's of finding her the next morning. I wish I could switch spots and take that away from him.
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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I'm so sorry to hear that. It's difficult enough to lose a parent under any circumstance, but to lose them and know that they won't be able to experience something so special and momentous all the more heartbreaking. My grandma, who was more like a mom, passed just a week after our original date back in 2020. It definitely hurt more knowing that if we hadn't postponed then she would have been there, but her death was very sudden with little to no notice to even process that she was dying. We had a picture of her in a really nice frame and set it on the welcome table, then I also have a necklace that holds some of her ashes in it and attached it to my bouquet for the day. But for something for a man, you could instead write a tribute to her to add to a wedding program if you're having one, or he could wear a brooch if she had any in place of a boutonniere. Or you could sew something of hers, a piece of a favourite shirt, a favourite scarf, etc to the inside (or outside) of your FH's jacket, vest, or the back of his tie.

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    That's a nice idea. I feel we will be doing the same. We'll have her picture in a frame. I was thinking of trying to find purple jasmine for FH's boutineer it was her favourite flower.
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  • A
    Master August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    My fiance and I have are having at our front entrance table a sign with a lit candle that says "in loving memory of those who are forever in our hearts today and always" both sets of my grandparents have passed away as well as my mom's brother.
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