Help - what is the difference?!

A Bridal Shower is traditional. Thrown by a family member or one of your bridesmaids (or some people have TWO bridal showers! 1 for family, and 1 for friends!). Everyone attending brings gifts for the bride, usually from the bride’s shower registry (you make a registry at one or more stores, asking for household items that you need or want, or even just gift cards!). The bride and groom should not spend any money on this party. Same for the bachelor(ette) party. You are paying for the wedding, no?


A Stag & Doe is really a Canadian tradition, more common in Ontario. The couple throws it (family + the wedding party often help with planning and labour). You sell tickets - people can bring their friends and friends-of-a-friend too - the more people that come, the more money that you can raise. You need prizes for the games, a 50/50 draw being one essential game (sometimes the winner is generous, and donates their winnings to the wedding fund!). You can sell drinks for a profit, but appetizers are usually provided for free (doesn’t need to be catered or fancy). I would do some research before you decide. Some people raise thousands, some people break even, a few even lose money! Personally, I think that it can be risky, especially with the possibility of your family out-of-town not coming.

You do not have to have either event. And realistically, either even can be what you want.

Stag n' Does are usually to fundraise for the wedding, so you'd want to do it a bit out (month wise) from the wedding.

Bridal Showers are typically thrown by the Bridesmaids or family to honour the bride.

We're not having either, too costly. And we'll do a co bachelor/bachelorette party.

As others have said, you can choose what you have. I didn't have either, as my fiance and I were able to afford the wedding without raising money for a stag and doe, and I live out of province so it was hard for my family to host a bridal shower.

Bridal showers are normally hosted by someone else (mother or MIL or MOH), while a stag and doe are to raise money for your wedding. Typically it's hosted by the bride and groom, and some get their wedding party to help out by hosting games and selling tickets.

Usually, 3 to 6 months before is when people have their stag and doe, and for bridal showers, it can be up to a few weeks before the wedding. If you're also going to be having a bachelorette, then I recommend spreading them out over a few months so everyone isn't coming to so many events all at once.

You can choose what you want to have. I'm not having a bridal shower since we already have most of our household items. And for stag and doe it's just not for us and I personally find it a waste of money and kind of vulgar. I have no idea about the right times for these events

As far as i know, the stag and doe you can have 6 months prior to the wedding if you choose. MOHs and salon staff held one for us 2 months prior.

The bridal shower is thrown by family and if chosen to do so 3 or less months in to your wedding.

Both are not necessary unless its something you really want.

You normally would have both of you wanted a Stag and Doe!
A stag and die is usually for both couples to have a party to help raise money for the wedding! (Typically no physical gifts)
A bridal shower is for JUST the bride to be pamper by her lady friends and family! Sometimes they bring gifts!

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.

I know folks who have had none, one, and both.

Timing wise - your choice according to seaon and availability etc.

Next year I’m going to a wedding in July - their stag and doe is in March. Her bridal shower is in April.

I’m giving my friends/fam one day for shower/bachelorette. This is what my two best friends have done for their weddings and it’s worked out swimmingly as none of us like To be in the spotlight but we recognize that our loved ones will want to organize something for us.

For one we we did dinner, nails and drinks, and the other we did a kind of Hygge themed jaunt around the city - including axe throwing, dinner, and dancing through the Distillery District. (Each guest facilitated a Hygge themed activity)

I believe a bridal shower is thrown for you (the bride) and its close friends and family, i think most of the time it is mostly woman who are invited and it's essentially a gift giving party- getting gifts for the wedding (earrings, something blue, garter, personalized hanger)

a staff and doe is to raise money to pay for the wedding, usually a party vibe, with like prizes people can win when they purchase raffle tickets. and this is usually planned by the bride and groom. I have been told that it is usually about 4-6 months before the wedding date, but i do believe it kind of depends on how long the engagement is