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J
Newbie September 2019 New Brunswick

Help! How to politely ask JOP to look nice...?!

JJJJ, on July 14, 2019 at 23:31 Posted in Before the wedding 0 7
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Not about formal/casual dress code. For starters, her Facebook picture kind of catfished me... hair was done, make up done, looks gorgeous. Saw some pictures of her at some clients' weddings... okay, doesn't look the exact same but still cute. Then the latest wedding post... oh boy. Looked like she just rolled out of bed.

God I sound horribly shallow but honestly I just want her to look as nice as the other times. This latest one makes me worried how she'll show up at mine (in a month and 1/2).

Is there a polite or stealthy way to find out / ask if she will look nice come the big day? So far I can only think to say that she looked very nice in that one post but how the heck do you slip that into a pre-wedding meeting (won't have rehearsal, super casual small backyard wedding). I'm really not worried about anything else, she seems lovely and I'm happy with the ceremony outline we made.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on July 16, 2019 at 12:58
  • K
    Frequent user September 2024 Nova Scotia
    Kelly ·
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    This is such a valid worry! It's your big day.

    Mine is a garden wedding, so when I emailed my JOP about dress I just said "nothing fancy is necessary, a sundress or pants and blouse will do!"

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I think you should just mention to her that you loved her look at so and such wedding she did, and hope that she brings that same look to yours.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    I do hope you don't end up with your look being distorted or incomplete. It would be bad to see her show up unready and not professional.

    I'm sure you won't end up with that issue. She will come dressed professionally and gorgeous as you have seen in the pictures. One of many doesn't mean it always that bad.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I would start out that email/conversation by saying something along the lines of "hey, so I'm not sure what ceremony outfits you have for us to pick from or if you just go based off what we were thinking - but we like the picture of you wearing this dress, the way you styled your hair and did your makeup in this one, blah blah blah, etc. etc."

    I know that it's a bit easier with guy officiants though - we could always loan him a tie to match our look and most guys will have at least one black or grey suit. Women though - that's a whole outfit and you can't provide that.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    When we first met with our vendors, we asked what they typically wear to weddings (most common answer was business casual). Same with our officiant. She works full-time in health care so when we first met, she was wearing scrubs but assured me she dresses up more for weddings.

    I think most vendors (the ones that might end up in photos), don't mind being asked what they usually wear and as Kelsie said, it might open up a dialogue.

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  • J
    Newbie September 2019 New Brunswick
    JJJJ ·
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    Very true! Good idea. I could make it seem like I want to talk about colours. Or if she asks if I have a preference then I can just say no but I thought you looked lovely in this one.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    The only thing I can think of is ask what attire she typically wears to a ceremony and hope a conversation flows naturally from there.
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