Help: bringing up Chinese traditions to western in-laws

Also - in Canadian tradition, I knew that my parents would be expecting a card from my fiancé and a gift from us.


I picked out cards for our parents and siblings on behalf of both of us so the detail doesn’t get overlooked. I just told my fiancé that he’ll need to write the card to my parents to show his respect and he totally got it, and appreciated me picking some cards out!

I am a white bride and my groom is Tamil Sri Lankan. His parents grew up in Sri Lanka and I asked both them and my fiancé if there was anything I or we can do to include their traditions in the wedding.


I know as a Canadian family that my parents would feel very embarrassed and ashamed if they weren’t aware of a tradition that we/they should be involved in. I think talking to your fiancé about it and noting how much it would mean to your parents should be a very easy and understanding conversation.

He loves you for who you are and where you come from. I’m sure he’d be really excited to integrate those special details for your family!

Just curious, are you making him do the Chinese door games where he has to bribe your bridesmaids with cash in order to get through the door? If so, might want to get him up to speed on that otherwise it would be really awkward for him when your ladies ask for $8888 lol.

Tell your fiance it's a thing. I would also offer to do a cultural thing for him, whatever custom his family celebrates,

I would discuss with your fiance the traditions so he can decide best way to bring it up to his family. If it's something they would like to do then you could offer to help them understand the customs and maybe give background so they understand the value of the gestures.

If I were in your fiancé's positions I would prefer for you to just straight up tell me what your family and culture's expectations are. Let him know that it's something important to you and your family and explain the process to him.