Guest List Problems

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I 100% agree with both of these comments! It’s YOUR day, YOU get to decide who is invited! There is no obligation to invite your boss, especially if he’s going to make you AND your invited coworkers uncomfortable! Just ask that those who are invited don’t rub it in his face that he isn’t welcome.

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I want to nominate this for Quote of the Decade on Wedding Wire!!

Also I fully agree, if having someone there won't make your wedding fun/give you anxiety, don't invite them! For the coworkers you are inviting, tell them to keep wedding chatter to a minimum at work.

I have to pick and choose which coworkers I invite. Not everyone could be there and I have a lot of coworkers. I figure if I see them on my personal time on a regular basis they are invited. If it's just at work unfortunately not.

Marie Condo that guest list!

Does this guest bring you joy? If the answer is no, throw them away.

Its your wedding you can pick and choose who you want to come. if someone is rude to you do not invite them. im inviting my co-workers and not my boss. i dont want him there lol!!

View quoted message Exactly! Why have other guests and yourself be uncomfortable. I think it is completely acceptable to be a little selfish on the day of your wedding! 🙂

View quoted message That sounds good. Just be firm. It’s your wedding after all! No need for any of that stress!

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I wanted to invite the girls I'm close with - I see them almost every day, they were so interested in my engagement, wedding planning and when we finally bought our house. I don't think its a big deal not inviting him - he'll never know anyone else from the office was even there.

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Thanks Megan! That's what I thought also but my parents and my FH taking such a strong stance made me think perhaps I was wrong. I think my sanity the day of is worth far more than my boss potentially holding a grudge against me because I didn't invite him.

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I honestly don't think my boss will remember when my wedding is (aside from the fact I won't be in the office two days before, and then two weeks after), so I doubt he'll notice or care.

If worst comes to worst and he approaches me, I'm just going to say unfortunately we had to cut back on our guest list due to budget constraints. How can anyone argue with that?! lol

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Thanks for your input! It is a difficult choice but I think I need to be a little selfish here. I also don't want to make my other guests uncomfortable with him being there. When I told them he wasn't coming they were so relieved.

I wouldn't invite him. Especially with the feedback from other co workers.

I opted to not invite any of my coworkers, and I am pretty close with a few of them. But It was an all or nothing type deal.

It is not worth the stress at all!

Don't invite him! Don't give yourself the extra anxiety. It's not worth it.

At the end of the day it is yours and your FH’s wedding. People will get over it if they aren’t invited. I had a similar issue too. I’ve decided to have a ceremony invite only for certain people and full invite to those I wanted to be part of the ceremony and reception. I’ve gotten a lot of heck from everyone about this, but it’s what we are doing and everyone will just get over it.

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For sure! I think there is a traditional aspect of inviting your boss to your wedding, but that is the same with inviting everyone in the family from first to seventh cousins etc. Just is not necessary anymore so I say go with your gut!

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It definitely won't improve but you're right - there's always that option but I don't think I'll use it.

It's just easier to separate work and life sometimes - it's also hard when you work in a small, small group also! Ahhhh the guest list woes.

Personally I wouldn’t extend the invitation. It is clear that you don’t care for him outside of work, or at work lol, which is fine there was only one office I worked in that I hung out with coworkers and the boss. I agree with you that I wouldn’t want someone at my wedding that makes me feel uncomfortable, whether I see them or not. It also seems like your coworkers don’t care for him outside of the office either. You wedding day is suppose to be people who love and support you and your spouse to make it happy and fun and memorable!

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He's fairly nosey - so he knows a bit about me, he's met my FH once before and asks about him but it's just gotten to the point where he can be super rude to me and I just don't want that at my wedding.

My family and FH had me thinking I was doing something terrible though by deciding not to invite him. I really don't get why considering I have to deal with him almost every day and they don't lol!!

I'm not inviting everyone that I work with. Only the people I see outside of work (or would be willing to see outside of work). It adds up to about 12 of 24 people. There is only one person in the office that I wouldn't want to invite, the rest I just don't need to have there.
If you don't want them there then don't invite them. And if by some wierd chance that your relationship improves before the wedding you can always extend the invite then.

Ugh I would definitely not invite him at all! If you have anxiety about him being there, then that is a for sure sign not to invite him. We only invited co workers that we see OUTSIDE of work on a regular basis so for me that was 1 girlfriend, and for FH it was nearly all of his friends ha ha. I can't imagine having my boss at my wedding, I just wouldn't want her to see the personal side of me that way. I would not be able to relax at all!

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There's a bunch in my office not getting an invite. I only invited those I work directly with on our side of the office. So out of the ....35ish+ people in my office, only 4 are getting invites? Pretty low percentage.

I unfortunately know my boss' address so he knows I know the address lol.

I think I'm just going to leave it at him not getting an invite. I don't think he'll even remember - he doesn't even remember when I'm getting married/going on my honeymoon anyway.

Hmmmm, I was going to say "well, is your boss the ONLY person at your office that isn't getting an invite? Like my work is upwards of 100 people so I only invited my friends - which did NOT include my boss". But after you said they don't even want to sit with him... even if you have a smaller workplace of like 10 people... my Husband would for sure tell me that my boss isn't getting an invite.

He didn't care for his boss and what we ended up doing with that situation (his workplace had about 10 people there all together), was we asked his coworkers and his boss for their address' so we could mail them the invitations - and his boss never remembered to give us one... we just didn't ask again... left it at that.