Guest List Etiquette for Destination Wedding

No my cousin did a destination wedding and she invited everyone that would have come here if her wedding was here to her destination. everyone is gonna have their opinions remember you cant please everyone... so you and your FH do what makes you both happy. generally for destination wedding people dont walk with a gift the gift is them coming. but i would send invitations to everyone family friends extended family anyone who would come to the wedding if it were here. and dont listen to etiquette times have changed since older people got married.

My fiancé and I were invited to his close friend's destination wedding in Costa Rica. As far as we know, both family and friends were invited. Many people were in attendance and some were unable to attend for various reasons. We made many memories, met many new people, and no talk of etiquette while we were there hope that helps alleviate some stress!

My husband is Irish, so one side or the other had to travel. We chose Canada because we both live here and it was easier to plan, so his family had to fly here for the wedding. Even though we knew some people couldn't come, we still invited everyone we wanted to. We had a really good turnout, so I think you'll be surprised at who will try and make the trip. I think more people are offended you didn't think to invite them than offended they have to attend a destination wedding/send a gift.

We're in the same boat. I'm British and my FH is Canadian so we are marrying in Canada. It was expected that many people from the UK and Europe wouldn't make it but we invited everyone who we wanted there. I missed out relatives i'm not overly close with and haven' had any complaints - we simply said we don't have the capacity/ the spend to accommodate everyone/ don't want to put financial strain on people. We would have regretted not inviting friends and family we would have invited. Ignore the etiquette queen. It's your day and you can.spend it with whoever you want.

I wouldn't say sending an invite looks like a gift request and I feel that if they are close enough with you then they would know this.

You can always have a party and invite everyone who wasn't invited to the wedding - like a mini reception.

Hi Alanna,

I can totally relate. I am Italian, and my fiance's family is from Newfoundland. I would definitely say to invite everyone regardless of whether or not they can come. It will make them feel included and in some way a part of your special day. At least they can keep the wedding invitation as a keep sake! That is what my fiance's grandmother did. She is unable to fly due to her health - but she was overjoyed to receive an invite.

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Thanks Caitlyn, I'm hoping some people will surprise me and come!

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Thank you for your response Vinod. We made the decision to get married in Italy after a lot of thought of who can afford it, mobility, costs, etc. and it was just a better all-around decision to have my family go there. At the end of the day, one side of our families will have to travel and it's upsetting to me that some of my family refuse to think about or even acknowledge that my fiance's side of the family is over there. As for the negative nancy in my group, it's not a cousin, it's an immediate family member who unfortunately must be tolerated.

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Tori, I feel the same as you. I would be offended not to get an invitation! I feel it is courteous, especially when I have all the same people inviting me to their weddings, I should not be allowed to invite them to mine? In the end no one is forcing them to go!

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Thanks for your response Madisyn!

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Hi Amelia,

Thanks for your encouragement! My sisters wedding literally HAD to have every cousin on all sides (300 ppl just on our side). Now, in an epic twist... no one should be invited to mine apparently LOL???

I appreciate your ideas, and we are "thinking" about a possible post wedding celebration here as well for those who can't come, but it all depends on final costs and attendance on my side of course.

Thank you

You can invite whomever you please. I agree that it's nice to receive an invitation even if you will not be able to make it. Just make sure you're not inviting more people than you can afford because you assume certain people will RSVP no. Some people can surprise you and be willing to travel.

Destination weddings seem expensive for most people since it will be airfare and housing to consider coming to Italy. You will have family for the most part being there and some friends that will take time out of their schedule to make it for your wedding. You invite who you feel is to be present and not to those that can wait until you get back.

Suggestion for alternative is to elope with just the family and make it a vacation for you all spending time together. When you get back from Italy, It would work to have all your friends and family attend the reception to celebrate your marriage locally making it easier for the travel. The one cousin that seems not so happy for you two, leave them out if you feel they need to stay home.

Personally even if I wouldn't be able to afford it - sending an invite is the courteous thing to do.

I would send invitations to whoever you would send one to had you decided to get married in Canada. Heck, we sent an invitation to my DH's Great Aunt and Uncle in Czech knowing darn well they wouldn't be able to make it. We just wanted them to not feel left out as well as it's a nice thing to keep on the fridge imo.

Hi Alanna,


You should invite whoever you please! There is absolutely no proper etiquette on who should be invited to your destination wedding. The ones that want to make it happen, will! And I'm sure they'll be thrilled! Just go into it knowing that you will get more declines that a local wedding, and be understanding of the people that can't swing it.
In terms of the gift - we made it abundantly clear that we did not want any gifts (money or otherwise) and that people showing up to the wedding was more than enough. If people still want to gift you something, that's their prerogative. Just set the tone that it isn't your attention (and I really don't think anyone would feel that way anyway!)

I think if you would be excited for someone to attend then you should invite that person regardless of whether or not they can come. I don't see it as a request for a gift but as exactly what it is: an invitation to celebrate your marriage.


If people can't go they will be honored for being asked. It also opens up the opportunity for those people to come together and throw you something locally to celebrate. If one of my friends were getting married far away and I couldn't go I would try to throw some kind of party to celebrate with them!
And my mom has been a bit of an "etiquette queen" who thinks every single cousin and their spouse(!!) should be invited despite the fact that I never see these people and it would add about 50 people to our small wedding almost doubling the guest list. She keeps saying to invite them, "they probably won't come" which is not a risk I'm willing to take.