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Danielle
Newbie July 2018 Alberta

Guest invites

Danielle, on May 18, 2017 at 23:16 Posted in Wedding reception 0 13
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What do you think the rule of thumb is for inviting people that invited you to their wedding? There are a number of weddings that I have attended in the last couple of years and since then I have drifted a little from either the bride or the groom. Is it too much of a slight to not invite someone after I was invited to their's?

Interested to hear thoughts from other brides!

-D.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on January 10, 2018 at 09:27
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    I have been invited to many weddings and haven't spoken to those people after a few years. I didnt invite them since i they they know my parents or brothers.

    I too invited main family and close friends.
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  • Shelby
    Frequent user October 2017 British Columbia
    Shelby ·
    • Dispute
    We were limited to 100 people at our wedding. We aren't inviting children because that would be roughly an extra 30 people. As for people you haven't seen in a while... if my fiance and I hadn't both met the people (we've been together for six years) or they hadn't made an effort to see/contact us in the last year or so they weren't invited.


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  • Erin
    Expert September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    I understand your dilemma, we were in the same boat! However, as most of the other girls have said, there is never any obligation to invite someone to your wedding, no matter what the circumstance. Obviously you may feel that you have to invite them because they invited you, but if you have drifted as friends or if you haven't spoken to that person/people for a while, you don't need to invite them. We had this same problem, and in the end, we did not invite those people we were unsure about. I may be hard but it all comes down to who you truly want there and in all honesty, the numbers. I have had to tell several people that we could not invite them due to this, and most of them understood, which was nice for us. Dont feel like you have to invite them solely for the fact that they invited you! Smiley smile

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  • Vanessa
    Expert August 2018 Manitoba
    Vanessa ·
    • Dispute

    It's hard to say, if you have drifted apart I have been there and done that and once again won't be inviting them to the wedding. We both have family who we won't be inviting as we have so many cousins. so only up to 2nd cousins. Our wedding is already up to 250. Some people we have been to weddings for have separated so we are debating just inviting just the one we are friends with or say plus one in case they have a date by than.

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  • Laura
    Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
    Laura ·
    • Dispute

    There should never be an obligation to invite anyone to your wedding, especially when you have drifted from them. You're day should be how you want it with the people you want there.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Super June 2018 Alberta
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute

    Don't feel obligated just because you were invited to theirs. It's your wedding and you should have people there that you want. Not people who you are thinking u should invite because it seems proper. If people have some hurt feelings then that's too bad. You're wedding day is about you and your partner committing to a lifetime of happiness with each other. not some high school drama show.


    I had the same thing happen when I sent out my STD's and Invitations, had people asking me if they were invited, people I never heard from till I got engaged. Like give me a break. some people just want to come for the party.

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  • Sonja
    VIP September 2017 Ontario
    Sonja ·
    • Dispute

    I think friends can grow apart over time because everyone's life gets so busy. You don't have to invite someone just because you went to their wedding. It also depends upon your budget. We are only inviting immediate family and close friends that we've known for a long time.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Super September 2017 Alberta
    Laura ·
    • Dispute

    I am not inviting a large number of people whose weddings I have attended in the past. In some cases we were really close at the time but now we are friends on facebook and haven't spoken in person in 10 years or more. Bottom line as many have already said, it is your wedding invite the people you want to invite who make you happy to have them there but don't invite people because you are scared to offend them. The only people who HAVE to be included in your wedding are you and your FH, everyone else should only be invited if you or your FH want them there. If you want them there and it would make you a little sad to have your big celebration without them then you should invite them. If you are only sad for the friendship you once had, your wedding in not the place to rekindle old friendships. You likely won't even have time to have a really meaningful conversation with them. Those are just my 2 cents! Smiley heart

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    Don't feel obligated to reciprocate with your invites. If you do not feel close to these people anymore and it would be awkward or weird inviting them, then don't. My FH has 2 cousins that invited us to their weddings (we only were able to attend 1) but neither of them are invited to ours as we do not see them regularly or even communicate regularly.

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  • Jessica
    Frequent user July 2018 Nova Scotia
    Jessica ·
    • Dispute

    I've been to the weddings of about 4 or 5 of my cousins, none of them are invited to mine, just because they had a large wedding, doesn't mean I have to... only invite those you want there and can afford to have, don't worry so much about being polite!

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  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
    • Dispute

    The people who love you and the people you love are the not the same now as they were 5 years ago. You should surround yourself with the people you care about that will make your day special. If you are feeling distance from people, they are probably also feeling it from you. If you're not sure, get in touch. But there's no obligation.

    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·
    • Dispute

    I think Megan nailed it. Maybe try to get in touch with them first to see if the friendship really is there and to see if they even get back to you before you make any decisions. I personally only invited those I talk to or see on a daily basis. I had one friend ask me if she was invited to my wedding because I have known her the longest of anyone invited to my wedding besides my family. But we don't talk and she lives in Windsor and has a husband and 2 kids and one of them I have never even met. I live in Peterborough with a full time job and am starting a life with my fiance and so we both are busy and the last time I saw her was in 2015 because I went to her grandma's funeral, because she was an important person in my life. I don't think knowing someone the longest should automatically mean they are invited to the wedding, I think the list should include those you see on a daily basis, whom you have a close relationship with in the present!

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  • Megan
    Curious June 2018 Ontario
    Megan ·
    • Dispute

    I believe that if you have drifted away then I am not sure it would even be comfortable to go. Nice to have the memories of you showing up to their wedding though. Maybe try to get a hold of them see what they respond like. Pehaps make a date to get together with them, see if the friendship is still there, or if they get back to you. To relate to this I have very old friends that I am not inviting. Different situation though because I didn't go to their wedding ( I actually was not invited) so whole different story... but we were already difting apart. I honestly think a wedding should include those who are close to you, that you spend time with & that stay connected in your life. I hope you find your wedding to be memorable with those people surrounding you that care!

    Megan Smiley smile

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