Groomsmen..

I can see how your FH is afraid to ask others when the friendship isn't there for a long time. Its a tough situation to be asking when the fear of unknowing what the answer will be from others. there may be others he is comfortable though he is quite about it all. Hope time comes when he will ask when the time is right and he builds confidence in himself.

My FH would have liked a bridal party, but I am actually sort of in a similar position to your FH. I have people that I could ask - my sister and a few friends - but I just didn't see the benefit of having a bridal party. I'm also quite introverted and I feel that having to include additional people in the planning and day of would make things less enjoyable for me. We ultimately decided to not have a bridal party at all and my FH will get ready with some his friends on the day of.

Are you sure your FH's reason for not wanting to ask anyone is that he feels there is nobody to ask? Maybe he genuinely just doesn't want any groomsmen/women. If my FH was insistent on having groomsmen/women, I would have likely still chosen to be alone on my side or maybe we would've had someone from his side stand on mine to even it out visually.

If the issue is really just him fearing they might say no, I'd stick with just asking your brother. If he isn't very close with his work friends it might make the entire experience less enjoyable for him. It could also be awkward at work for him if there's any drama (hopefully there won't be but I've heard horror stories about bridal parties). The bridal parties might end up being uneven, but I've seen so many weddings with this now and I really don't think it's a big deal.

Another idea is if he's close with either of his parents or other family members, they could stand up with him. I've seen dads as best men before and it's really nice. Or does he have any siblings? Based on your post I assume no, but if he has a sister or brother that would also be a good option.

I agree with Kelcie that you should ask your brother or cousin as long as your FH is okay with it. I know I would feel weird having a bridal party if I wasn't close to any of them and would rather be up there alone or with my mom. So maybe make sure he isn't putting it off because he just feels uncomfortable with the idea of having anyone up there that he isn't close to.

Hey April! This is a tough situation for sure. Based on everything you've told us, I think the best course of action is for you to ask your brother to stand with your fiance (and perhaps your cousin as well--depending on how close you are with that particular cousin). Here are my reasons, in no particular order.

First things first: the symmetry issue. You say you'll have 3 bridesmaids on your side. That does not necessarily mean that your fiance needs three people standing with him as well. Uneven wedding parties are pretty normal nowadays. You can arrange your processional in a way that doesn't require bridesmaids and groomsmen to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm. I get that the aesthetic of an "asymmetrical" wedding party may be unappealing to some folks. But, personally, I think it would be a little strange to resort to asking his co-workers to be groomsmen for the sole purpose of achieving gender "symmetry" in the wedding party (unless these co-workers are also really good friends of his, but you've acknowledged that he doesn't really have friends, so I'm assuming that's not the case). I say this because:

Participation in a wedding party is, generally speaking, quite expensive. Most people in a wedding party could pay several of their monthly bills with the money they're spending on attire alone. And then there's the bachelor/bachelorette party, gifts, etc. In my experience, people are usually more than willing to eat these costs if they're close to the couple. If I were asked to be in my brother's wedding, or my SIL's, or my best friend's, I'd drop the necessary cash without batting an eye. Because I love them to death. But I would be far more reluctant to make that investment if I were asked to be in a random co-worker's wedding--especially one I didn't have a relationship with outside of work. I get that people can always say no, and there's "no harm in asking", but I think in practice it is hard to decline. And people may accept these offers without fully appreciating what they're getting themselves into--in terms of money, time, and personal commitment.

More importantly, bridesmaid/groomsman is a special role that assumes a certain level of closeness between the BM/GM and at least one half of the couple (this is important--I'll return to this later). I think thrusting co-workers into this role out of desperation could make things awkward for everyone. Suppose the co-workers do say yes. Guests will ask about the groomsmen's relationship to you two. And the co-workers may then feel awkward/obligated to exaggerate the extent of the relationship. The co-workers likely won't have many personal anecdotes in the event they're asked to give a speech. And suppose you fall out of touch with these co-workers if/when your FH moves on from that job. Do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and see them peppered with these random guys?

I do agree that it would look a little sad--from a purely visual standpoint--if you FH has nobody at the alter with him while you have three people. I think that's where your brother (and perhaps your cousin) come in. My philosophy is that a wedding party should consist of people who (in all likelihood) have had or will have a long-term/lifelong relationship with the couple. Your brother and your cousin are family. While they may not be super tight with your FH now, they will be in the picture long term (again, in all likelihood). Their relationship with your FH will hopefully grow over time. And, as of the wedding day, they still tick the all-important box of being really close to one half of the couple: you. To summarize, I think your brother and perhaps your cousin are the best candidates.

I also think you should take on the burden of asking. Like Gen said, the idea of making a groomsmen "proposal" may be causing your FH a great deal of anxiety--especially if he's not particularly close to any of the candidates. It's a big ask, and a personal one. If it's important to you that he have groomsmen, and the best candidates are your family members, I think it makes sense that you ask. Or at least "lay the groundwork" with your brother/cousin so you can confidently tell your FH that they will say yes when asked. This is the strategy I took with my brother. He is standing with my FH. And my FH did "officially ask" my brother. But I spoke with my brother beforehand to give him a heads up / confirm he'd be happy to take on the role.

Anyway--that is my long-winded take! Good luck! Let us know how it works out.

Does he have family? His father could stand up there with him. Any cousins?

Does he have female friends or family he is somewhat close with? Personally having girls stand with the groom is no big deal for me so if you're okay with it, I would suggest that.

My now husband had issues choosing his groomsmen, he’s in the same kind of boat where he doesn’t have many close friends either. He has a few friends he mingles with every once in a while, and a few that were from high school that he’s known for a while but hasn’t really mingled with consistently until recently and his closest work friend says he doesn’t do weddings and wouldn’t come so he was off the table. He ended up deciding on asking his cousin, luckily him and I are both close with his cousin so it worked out, and his cousin is super outgoing and I am hoping will put him a bit more at ease when we do our vow renewal next year (he was super helpful this year when we did our small ceremony!) Since I only have my MOH standing up with me it definitely made things a bit easier!

I'm not really traditional so not sure if this is taboo or not, but if it's a matter of him being nervous/scared etc to ask, and wants someone there, if he is okay with it, can you just ask the listed people on his behalf? I decided to foregoe having my friends as bridesmaids. Just my brother and sister and his brother and sister. I have not told my siblings yet, but have asked his brother and sister already to be there. If he's comfortable standing alone that's also an option or you could have one of your bridesmaids stand on his side.

Can’t say I’ve had this issue with groomsmen, but as someone who doesn’t have a lot of friends, I can totally under how stressful this is for him. He feels isolated to begin with knowing that he doesn’t have any friends, and trying to pick someone out of people he’s not super close to makes that feel worse. It’s definitely a major source of anxiety for him and it sounds like he’s trying to avoid rejection/disappointment. Unfortunately you can promise until the cows come home that the guys you suggested won’t say no, but that won’t make it go away.
Ultimately he needs to either stand alone (which he might not be upset about) or rip the bandaid off. Offer your support and positive outlook to help him feel supported. He’ll come around to it in his own time, but knowing you’re there will help him get there faster since he won’t feel stressed or pressured. Good luck!

My fiance is only having one groomsman standing up for him. His brother. My fiance said to me he didn't want any one else standing up for him who he hardly talks to anymore. And I totally agree with him. I also only have my MOH standing up for me

Does your fiance have any close friends to ask? Even if it's just one?!