Great expectations! Whose expectations for your wedding have been the hardest to handle?

Everyone's? Hahah

FMIL thinks we have more money to spend than we do and is basically expecting a wedding similar to her daughters (9 years ago). That wedding had a line of credit taken out to pay for it and it was honestly nothing special whatsoever. She's having trouble understanding that I want something minimalist and that it's absolutely fine.

My mother is expecting me to keep to certain traditions and I'm not really interested in it.

My father suggested we use a reverend from the local church, when I specifically told him that we're using an officiant since A) we're not religious and B) we're not religious. I don't want anything religious in our ceremony and there's no compromise to that (for me).

My own expectations of what our wedding planning was going to be like has been way off. I've made this super stressful and I'm still worried that everyone will hate it. I'm really not having a lot of fun planning it.

Definitely my FSIL's. She's also engaged and is planning her wedding so she naturally is very emerged in all things wedding and is curious about our wedding and also a little critical. She naturally is someone who doesn't bite her tongue and just says her opinion. Then it also can be hard to not critique weddings in your mind when you're deep in planning. When you put those two things together then you get a lot of opinions that you didn't ask for.

Definitely my FMIL. one part of me is trying to understand that this is the only wedding she gets to show of her son (as my FH says...a dog and pony show). and that she is genuinely excited for us.

but I have a hard time because her vision and how she thinks a wedding should be is so opposite of mine. and she hasn't offered money towards it.

most of the time I can just go that's a nice idea...I will look into it or tell here that is beyond budget so it won't happen. and the few things that have gotten me riled. I have flat out told her I am doing it that way because I don't like it.

Hmmm I guess a little bit my mom... a little bit my FMIL... but the only person who I've actually almost had a fight with over differing opinions is my older sister, because I told her I want a bold make up look and she disagrees. She's super stubborn, so just not agreeing with her can start fight.

Most of it is just me coming to the realization of the costs of things... but also of how much I don't care about things I thought I would. I'm coming to a balance of wants/needs, and making it work for our budget.

There have been a few... most of them are my mom. Whether it was having mismatched bridesmaids dresses or me going for a bolder lip for wedding makeup. We've also had some guest list debates: one of her cousins has been more present in her life recently and wants to invite them. She wants me to B-list one friend growing up because her and my friends mother had a falling out (I would only be inviting my friend). Most of it is guest list stuff - things like styles and visions she's come to terms with that it's my FH and mine's day so she has started to back off.

There are a few aunts and my grandma on my dad's side who are Catholic (I'm protestant) who thought we were going for a church wedding. They're not raising a big fuss about it since I'm not even in the religion but it causes some family problems/drama.

We're only inviting 1st cousins and a lot of my cousins on my mom's side have kids that I don't really know/met and would be disrupting the wedding. No one knows that part yet but the aunts/uncles of those cousins have a feeling that's happening.

Right now I would say my in laws, and some people on my moms side of the family.

At first I got some comments because we were not getting married in a church ( I only went to church when I was little and haven't been since I was about 10/12. My FH was raised catholic, but has not gone to church for many years) I never really pictured myself having a church wedding because I want something different than what everyone else does.

We are also doing no children at our wedding except for immediate family which is only 10 total between mine and FH family. My aunt on my Mom's side wanted her granddaughter to be there. I have literally only met this little girl once (shes 6/7) and has no idea who I am lol.

I have learned to just let people know that this is what we want and it is our day

It would for sure be my Baba. She is really into the Ukrainian Christian Orthodox Church and even though I was baptized there and went every so often, I haven't gone in years and really don't see the point. Plus my FH was baptized as catholic I think but he doesn't go either and we just don't want that for us or our future kids tbh. Well... obviously she isn't cool with that... Plus there just so happens to be a Ukrainian church right next to our venue which is in the middle of nowhere so that is something we are trying to keep to ourselves until the day of!! lol

Aaaaaaaand our wedding is kid free. She doesn't like that... my cousins that I see at most once a year are under 18 so she has even offered to pay for their meals if I let them come - but money isn't the issue, space is. So... I told her I would think about it and keep it in mind if we end up with room after RSVP's - but I left out the fact that we have a 2nd guest list that I would be sending invites out to before I resort to even thinking about inviting them... they aren't even first cousins, or second, but third...

My own expectations😂 Part of me says that it’s only one day and it doesn’t matter how it is because I’m still married but part of me is thinking it’ll only happen once in my life and I want it to be perfect

Honestly for us it’s been very little, but his aunt was very much team church wedding and literally didn’t talk to my fiancé or myself for the rest of the evening when we accidentally let slip that we weren’t having a Catholic ceremony (My fiancé was raised Catholic but neither of us believe in the religion so why should we?) she still makes comments about it from time to time but really most of our families are quite aware that even with their contributions we have our style and they’re both very supportive. I think the only time I’ve had an issue with our parents was when my mum felt like she was being left out of the planning in the beginning but it was really just we hadn’t done more than come up with tentative dates. Once she realized that was all we’d really done, she’s been 100% here’s what I think but it’s your day, your decision.

Probably our moms and his aunt. Not so much now but when we first got engaged they had their input flying left right and centre! Telling us what we HAVE to do/have.. luckily once they realized their expectations are not even near what we want they let it go. Every now and again they still throw something out there but not nearly as much.

The mothers! I love them both to pieces but there's been so much input on guest list and other slightly less stressful factors that has been a bit much.