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Beginner October 2021 Alberta

Go to a destination wedding without my husband?

Kathryn, on March 6, 2022 at 15:41 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 10

We got invited to a destination wedding in mexico and it's one of my best friends. I'm a bridesmaid as well.

We recently found out that my husband's job will not allow the time off and so I will be looking at going to Mexico solo (but I have lots of friends going and know people at this wedding).
My husband and I didn't get a honeymoon last year as we got married in the height of covid and because of this, I have some guilt for looking at going to Mexico solo.
I just never anticipated my husband not being able to get the time off work and the guilt is what I feel the worse about.
Would you go without your husband/spouse if this was a best friends wedding AND you are a bridesmaid/in the wedding party?
HELP! Need some opinions and advice ❤️


Latest activity by Darbi, on June 2, 2022 at 13:51
  • Darbi
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Darbi ·
    • Dispute

    It's definitely hard but I would go. If it's a close friend you will probably feel just as guilty not being there for them. Enjoy the trip with the girls and hopefully you and your husband can have a trip just the two of you later on!

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Beginner October 2021 Alberta
    Kathryn ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you everyone!! You have all really helped me and I feel much much better a out going by myself without my husband! Much appreciated for the advice Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    I hope it makes you feel better when I say I go solo for most occasions besides weddings to my second family and in laws at times since my husband doesn't feel he wants to go or get the day off. The guilt feeling of your husband not getting the time off does 100% suck to not get the honeymoon you both want. This is your best friends wedding and the time to go to be with her as much as you want your husband there too.

    I just have accepted the fact my husband puts up a fight every time we have to go somewhere and refuses to just let his guard down for the sake of it. At the same time, it gives me the feeling of not having the time with him to show he is on my side when it comes to family matters. The feeling I get is loneliness for the most part. I have to go for 2 destination weddings this year and he doesn't feel our kids (dogs) are safe with others or dog spas to take care of them (insecure). I end up going alone and have to say why he didn't come as always and tired of it personally. By the way, we haven't had a proper honeymoon too after 2018 wedding. Its coming to 5 years in August.

    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    I would hope that even if you're not obligated to work the wedding in any particular official capacity that your husband would still be okay with you attending just to support your friend (or just to have fun for your own sake). Being married doesn't mean being stuck to the hip for everything.

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  • Jenn
    Frequent user August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
    • Dispute

    As everyone else has said - yes! Go! Does it suck your husband's employer is being difficult? 100%, but you should still go and support your best friend and be there for her.

    I went to both my best friends' and my bros' destination weddings solo because my FH wasn't able to get the time off (He may even need to use sick days or LOAs for the days leading up to our wedding) . In both cases, my FH was 110% supportive about my going and even helped me pack lol

    • Reply
  • Hailey
    Featured June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
    • Dispute
    I would definitely go , especially since its a best friend of yours. yes it would be hard and tough not going with your husband. However I'm sure he would understand and maybe you can plan a trip back there when he has some time off ! 😊
    • Reply
  • Kara
    Frequent user June 2022 Ontario
    Kara ·
    • Dispute
    Yes absolutely. It’s unfortunate that he cannot come with you, but, you’re a bridesmaid…. You’re doing this for her, ultimately. I think it’s important for you to be there for her. It would have been great if he could have attended with you and sort of had a honeymoon, but, at the end of the day, it’s your friends day- and it’s about her….
    • Reply
  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
    • Dispute
    My high school best friend is getting married in a different province this month and my Fiancé can't get time off work but I will be going without him. I couldn't imagine missing her wedding even though I won't know many people there.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute
    I would go. You will definitely regret not being there for your best friend down the road
    • Reply
  • Carmel
    Featured December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
    • Dispute
    Yes I would. My husband would totally understand (no one's fault except the employer) and support me going; he'd WANT me to go.
    • Reply

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