FSIL refuses to get a babysitter

Wow. whats she planning on doing having her kid the only one at your wedding? sounds like youve been more than comprising by saying her kid can come to the ceremony and dinner. youve already spoken to her so that hasnt been working. i would say "alright well you cant come then". its your wedding she should respect that no one else is bringing their kids and neither should she.

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Thanks Rachael! Trying to and will be speaking with her parents this weekend

View quoted message Glad you spoke to her and everything worked out!! Time to try to relax now before the big day!!

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Lol I believe it- from seeing this kid at past weddings 2 in the last year are prime examples going to tell her mom about why she shouldn't be there. I am hoping her parents will help inforce it after I ask.

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I am going to try and talk to her parents this weekend and have them get on her butt about it. I don't think we should have to be regarding this.

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Thanks Casey- I am going to try and talk to her mom this weekend and ask her to deal with it day of if isn't figured out prior.

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Talked to her and she wasn't as upset as me just more upset for me because she knows how it bugs me. Thank you for your advice !

I agree with the others. Stand your ground because it's your right and you've given more than enough notice for this person to find a babysitter. She has no excuse.

I agree with the others that you need to stand firm and have someone tell her at 8pm that the kid has got to leave. We didn't specify "no children" at our wedding but most didn't bring theirs. The only ones who were older than a baby were my husbands niece and nephew and you better believe that we felt their presence there lol.

I agree with others and not budge on this. Have someone approach your FSIL at 8 pm and tell her it's time for the kid to leave.

I think Jennifer is right - don't budge on this. And if you need somebody to enforce it just make sure it isn't you.

Only thing that I would say otherwise would be to get her parents to try and drill it into her brain that her kid isn't allowed after 8pm. It shouldn't be their problem - but it sure as heck shouldn't be yours or your FH's!

It is a very difficult position to be in. Honestly, I would flat out tell her there are no exceptions, and maybe pass it off to one of your parents to deal with on that day.

If worst comes to worst, she will leave the reception with her child. I think just standing your ground and not making any exceptions is really the only way to go about it!.

View quoted message I would leave that part to a designated person for day of. Literally anyone but you. You don't need to be dealing with spoiled brats on your wedding day girl! Ask someone (even your coordinator) to enforce this rule and then leave it in their hands and enjoy your night!

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It ended up coming to your gonna have to leave at 8pm if you don't have a sitter. This is what my fh said but I don't think she took it seriously. I feel like as much as I hate conflict am going to have to flat out say that to her. I dread convo's like this and this is my only stresses regarding the wedding right now!

This might be a bit of a harsh response, but honestly, I would tell her flat out with no "wells" and "maybes" that children are NOT welcome at the reception or while getting ready, it is your final decision, and if she cannot respect your wishes on this one day then she will be asked to leave with her child. I had to do this with my sister, because she lost her MIND when we told her we were having a kids free wedding. She threw a fit and said she wasn't coming, I said okay cool, sucks to be you, we will have a blast without you. Then when she realized I wasn't going to budge she relented and got a sitter.

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I would just explain to your sister what's going on. Definitely explain this isn't what you want at all but unfortunately you can't control other people. I think your sister will understand.

It's too bad your FH's sister is being like this - it's definitely one way to strain the relationship between herself and your FH.

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I am just afraid of the backlash it will cause between me and my sister. We had argued about the babysitter and my mom hired one so she would do it. I know it will cause tension with my sister but its out of my control. I did let my mom know but not sure if should warn my sister or if this will make matters worse and cause her to be upset. My fh did talk to her desperately and it didn't matter then. He was first person to say something so it was nice wasn't from me.

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To be honest, she is probably just selfish and wants to be an exception to the rule.

As long as you and your FH are on the same page, I would have him speak to his sister - I don't think its your job to keep reiterating the point over and over because she's obviously not listening or caring.

Perhaps if it comes from your FH directly, without you there, it'll have more meaning. She still may not care either way, which is obviously an issue but it's just one of those things.

Don't let it ruin your day!

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Appreciate hearing it still- I am just annoyed the fact that she doesn't feel like she needs to but if anyone should be having their kids stay is my sister when her twins are young. Her kid is basically two and no reason she couldn't get a sitter. I just don't get how you don't understand no kids when her wedding didn't have kids at it! I guess at this point all I can do is remind her about babysitter. I asked what her plan was when we got ready and its basically hoping her parents can do it when they aren't getting ready with my fh. I told her absolutely not to having her when we get ready. Its tight spot as is and when we were in friends wedding a month ago it was constant screaming whole time.

This is really hard. My FSIL and my FH's cousin will both have kids just over a year old by the time our wedding comes. For this reason, my FH was adamant that kids be allowed (which, trust me, I didn't want). It also sort of made sense because anyone they would want babysitting will be at our wedding.

I think definitely have your FH have a conversation with her but in all honesty, she's probably going to do whatever she wants anyway - whether she leaves early with the child or somehow ends up keeping the child there.

I would tell your FH to discuss it with her and clearly ensure she understands it is a kid free reception. What she does after that is on her and not you. You've done your best to enforce your policy, no one can fault you for not doing that.

This probably wasn't a very helpful comment but it is a tough situation for sure.